These thoughts came out of a very helpful discussion I had recently with some friends. I wanted to just get them down on paper—or at least 0s and 1s. Therefore this is pretty short . . .
As my friends and I discussed John 11, I was struck by verses 47 and 48. These couple of sentences are so appropriate for those who have faced abuse in any setting.
The term “Crazy-Making” is often used to describe this infuriating experience.
Jesus has just raised his friend, Lazarus from the dead—not your basic healing from a cold (though that is wonderful as well). Everyone knew Lazarus was dead and believed, apparently that Jesus could, or would have healed Lazarus when he was sick. But, are then distraught when Jesus didn’t come along at the right time.
However, Jesus proves without a doubt his diety and power and love through the raising of Lazarus from the dead. As the people noted in the passage, Lazarus was definately dead—he stunk. It was an incredible miracle.
And yet, this is what the chief priests and Pharisees said:
“What are we going to do since this man is doing many signs? If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.”
“If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him.”
Well . . . yeah? Doesn’t it make sense that they would? And maybe you should too, religious leaders?
Making Crazy
What was discussed with my friends was that abusive leaders are just like this. They are stuck in their thinking. They are seemingly oblivious to truth . . . or intentionally so. When they are presented with the truth, they simply reject it and make crazy!
It makes those who suffer under their foolishness feel crazy. They are continually asking how the leaders could possibly reject the truth when it is so evident.
But, even worse, at some point, the victim of the leader’s attacks begins to wonder if they read it wrong, saw it wrong, or just got the whole situation wrong.
“Maybe, just maybe, the leader is just fine, but I am making this up?”
Crazy-making is very damaging to the emotional and spiritual health of the victim. The impact on their future ability to make decisions and thinking process is well-documented. Enough being told you are crazy or stupid or unable and you begin to believe it.
Feeling inadequate and expressing that sense of inadequacy by apologizing for each idea or statement is evidence of these experiences. Second-guessing every thought. Feeling like you cannot have a good plan or belief, because, well . . . you are crazy.
These experiences are important for both the advocate and victim to keep in mind as they navigate post (or even during) abusive leadership life. Knowing this is part of gaining back voice—being able to present ideas and plans and thoughts. It is part of gaining agency once again.
Victims—remember, you aren’t crazy. You do have good ideas, thoughts, and beliefs. They are val
Often the focus of Bible teaching—when it comes to leadership and followership—is on the follower.
In particular, the focus is on being submissive more often than not.
I understand that. There are several Scripture passages that call on subordinates in various contexts to submit to the authority under which God has place us (Romans 13; 1 Peter 2:13f).
However, Scripture also speaks to those in authority. In fact, because of the power differential, I would suggest the greater responsibility is on the authority to use that authority in a God-glorifying and respectful way. The frequency with which the Lord speaks to those who oppress—actions that crush those who have less power—is striking (Exodus 3:9; Isaiah 58:6).
Job of an Older Man
The Apostle Paul makes an interesting statement that has some bearing on this in his letter to Timothy.
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 (ESV)
Timothy was a young man by all accounts and given the job of an older man. He was leading a new church in a time when elders—those who are older in age—were expected to be leaders, particularly wise religious leaders.
Paul found it necessary to instruct Timothy in how to handle his position as a spiritual leader to those who were younger and of older age. It is in his instruction to Timothy in what his attitude should be towards younger folks in his congregation that I am most interested in.
It is in this instruction to younger people that Paul uses, what I would consider, a unique and surprising terminology. He says, don’t rebuke them, but rather treat them as “brothers” and “sisters.”
Timothy is older (even though young). Timothy is probably more knowledgeable. He was “appointed” by an apostle for his position. He was a “big man.”
Yet, Paul says treat those younger like equals. That is what a brother or sister is. He/she is of equal stature. And this is the attitude Timothy needs to have.
We would not expect that.
And many leaders in the church wouldn’t expect that and probably would be put out by Paul’s instruction if they took the time to consider the words Paul is using. Rather, we see often those who lead in the church treat others as if they are children. I have heard that over and over from those with toxic leaders.
It is how I was treated by a mission leader; not as a colleague, but as a child.
Encourage or Rebuke?
Notice also that Timothy is called to take a clearly softer stance with those he leads and instructs. Paul says, “encourage” them rather than “rebuke” them.
To “rebuke” is defined as “to chastise with words, to chide, upbraid.”1 On the other hand, “encourage” means in Greek “to address, speak to, (call to, call upon), which may be done in the way of exhortation, entreaty, comfort, instruction, etc.”2
Timothy had the authority of an elder in the church, yet he should not use that authority to “lord it over” those under that authority, but rather “encourage” them in their walk with Christ.
One interviewee of mine in the northeast was treated as if she was of lesser intelligence by her pastor, though she had been an integral part of the church ministry for years. A friend of mine had developed an exceptional ministry to women who were in abusive marriages and she had a doctorate in theology and yet was simply ignored. Another interviewee developed much the same kind of ministry in the southwest and was ignored, treated with disrespect, and finally run out of the church.
These are not the attitudes and actions of the kind of pastor Paul was calling Timothy to be.
Despite the difference in age, in a culture that held to the authority of others older than oneself, Paul was counter-culture in suggesting Timothy treat the younger as equals—those who had less authority than himself.
Calling all leaders: This takes humility, patience, and a self-awareness. We have to dig deep into our hidden motives and attitudes and seek the Holy Spirit’s help in transforming likely arrogant and defensive and domineering attitudes.
Treat your subordinates as brothers and sisters, not as children.
Notes:
Strong, James (2010), The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (Expanded edition, n.p.). ↩︎
Strong, James (2010), The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (Expanded edition, n.p.). ↩︎
The book of James in the Bible is full of teaching on the abusive heart.
Though it speaks generally to all people, it also has specific value for leaders—those with formal or informal power over others.
After providing a beautiful and life-changing discussion on how to persevere under trials, James begins to delve into the heart of oppressive behavior. The warning shot comes in verse 19 of the first chapter:
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
“Angry” is often a descriptive term for those who are abusive of others. Though anger is not normally at the heart of the abusive leader’s problem—rather entitlement and control—it is a means and method for achieving these desires of the abuser.
This one sentence written by James, the brother of Jesus Christ, is antithetical to anger.
Listen.
Wait.
Be right.
A leader who fails to listen to others is not producing “the righteousness of God.” He has his own views, rights, and privileges in mind, not the good of others or the organization he serves. Listening to others implies truly hearing what they have to say and giving them the respect they deserve as God’s image bearers.
This can be applied as well to the leader who seemingly listens to and yet ignores his subordinates. The term “hear” means “to attend to, consider what is or has been said.” Again, is he giving honor to those who serve at his behest? Hearing means truly listening . . . no just acting like it.
Hypocrisy
James goes on in this same passage to challenge those who are wrapped up in a “Christiany” image but are in fact hypocrites. They put on an act of being Christian by spouting biblical sounding speeches, but in fact do not actually live those same words in their daily lives and leadership:
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. [James 1:22-24]
These “Christian” leaders appear to hear the words of God but immediately turn away from them in their daily life. They are surrounded by the Word of God—in the organization masthead, organization chapels, staff meetings, church partnering—but it is all just window-dressing. Often the leader is more concerned about funding the organization than he is about following Christ “whether he eats or drinks, or whatever he does.”
So, he speaks a good line that sounds Christian for all the donors and likely the staff, but his heart is really far from it.
Out of the Mouth
In verse 26, James brings the tongue back into the discussion:
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. 27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
James takes a hard stance against the evil that comes out of the mouth. It comes back over and over again.
Much of our “behavior” —outward actions—is how we speak to and about others. Just as James says, our tongues are fires (James 3:5), ready to accomplish our scorched earth policies.
Does the leader think of himself, and even defend himself as a good Christian? Does he see himself as religious—after all, he runs a Christian organization or goes to church regularly, maybe even is a Sunday school teacher, or fills the pulpit periodically.
James says, if he “does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.“
In chapter three James goes on with further criticism of those who use the tongue abusively:
For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.
Deadly Poison
“Deadly poison.” Strong words. James shows the incomprehensibility of those who claim to love Christ and yet “curse” others. The Greek term καταράομαι (curse) means to “curse, doom, imprecate evil upon” someone else.
As poison it hurts and kills. Though sticks and stones can break our bones, cursing others is murderous. It destroys the emotional and spiritual health of others. It often destroys other’s relationship with the Lord having come from a “Christian” leader.
James, by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, gets the harm abusive words cause.
The hypocrisy of those who lead a Christian organizations—or any other organization for that matter—claiming to be a follower of Christ and yet behaving with a pattern of abusive language is beyond comprehension.
Appropriately, James has the strongest words for those who tear down others with their words—words that should give life and hope to others.
Do you take seriously the words that come from your mouth. Do you stop. Listen. And then respectfully hear the words of those under your formal or informal authority? If you continually justify yourself, you need to delve deeper into your heart.
Abusive leadership is a pattern of behavior that tears down others and it is so often with words—even words that sound Christian.
The toxic leader will be threatened by the slightest show of strength from subordinates. This was the story of the new king of Egypt in the time following the death of Joseph.
As a little background, Joseph, the son of Jacob, had been taken as a slave from his family to Egypt—that is a whole story in itself. Through a variety of amazing circumstances directed by the Lord, Joseph’s ability to read the dreams of others came to the attention of the king.
Having read the king’s troubling dreams, the king appointed Joseph to oversee the nation’s food supply. The king had dreamed (symbolically) of seven years of abundance followed by a seven-year drought. God gave Joseph incredible wisdom that saved the Egyptian nation and many surrounding nations through his wise management of their agriculture.
Joseph’s family—God’s people—moved to Egypt during this time and were given good land to farm by the king. The “Israelites” grew in numbers and after Joseph died, Exodus 1:8-11 picks up the story:
Now there arose a new king over Egypt, who did not know Joseph. 9 And he said to his people, “Behold, the people of Israel are too many and too mighty for us. 10 Come, let us deal shrewdly with them, lest they multiply, and, if war breaks out, they join our enemies and fight against us and escape from the land.” 11 Therefore they set taskmasters over them to afflict them with heavy burdens. They built for Pharaoh store cities, Pithom and Raamses.
Exodus 1:8-11 (ESV)
You have to the ask the question, “Why would the king think the Israelites would join Egypt’s enemies and fight against them?” Egypt had proven to be a good place to work and raise their families. The Israelites were prospering because of the former Pharoah’s (king) kindness to them.
Why, Why, Why
However, it appears that the Israelites were already in the grips of the Egyptians. They did not appear to be equals in their citizenry. The king (and the other Egyptians) appeared to have power over these foreign people. This is evidenced by the fact the king could set “taskmasters over them to afflict them with heavy burdens.”
This new Pharaoh would prove in the story to be a toxic leader.
The Egyptian king had the ability to rule over them in a toxic way and chose to do so. So, he chose to take toxic control. An average leader might consider how to woo his subordinates. Not the Egyptian king. . . nor a toxic leader of any sort.
Robert Hare wrote,
There is a class of individuals who have been around forever and who are found in every race, culture, society and walk of life. Everybody has met these people, been deceived and manipulated by them, and forced to live with or repair the damage they have wrought.1
If you know the story, you know that Exodus goes on to describe the destruction wrought by the king in the lives of the Egyptians and the subsequent judgments God brought upon the nation of Egypt because of the king’s horrific toxicity. As Hare notes, the Egyptians were “forced to live with or repair the damage [the king had] wrought.”
This is the way of toxic leadership. The destruction a narcissistic or abusive leader causes can be far-reaching and long-lasting. But generally, it is people in the organization, nation, business, or church that have to, in the end, live with it or try to repair it.
And it gets worse
Barbara Kellerman, the Founding Executive Director of the Harvard Kennedy School’s Center for Public Leadership, wrote of the common direction these toxic leaders go; down. It only gets worse. There is example after example. It is extremely rare that a bad leader becomes good. Rather their slippery slope is all downhill.
Kellerman tells the story of Volkswagen’s former CEO, Martin Winterkorn.
The effect of Winterkorn’s bad leadership was cumulative. The longer it lasted, the higher the cost to everyone adversely affected. Volkswagen’s cheating was not a single, quickly aborted instance of wrongdoing, never to be repeated. It was the opposite. It went on for eight years, the price paid by the victims of Volkswagen’s wrongdoing escalating with each passing day.2
But this should not surprise us as Christians. Sin is crouching at the door (Gen. 4:7) and without the intervention of Christ, it goes generally from bad to worse.
There are people who are truly driven by evil as Dan Allender describes (and it only gets worse):
All of us are capable of doing evil things, but evil people are driven by a self-interest that is so heartless, conscious, and cruel that it delights in stealing from others the lifeblood of their soul. Often the one who delights in evil is an ordinary, unassuming person who hides behind a facade of normalcy. Few people who are evil ever appear evil, even after the evidence of their deceit, destructiveness, and hardness is exposed.3
Keeping Clean of Defilement
It is difficult to watch the masses follow after narcissistic and abusive leaders in any organizational setting. They might think the leader holds some values they hold or promote some policies they promote. So, they think those positive traits will keep the followers clean of defilement. But, that is not how it works.
The followers of the Egyptian king suffered much the same from God’s judgment as did the king. The plagues that devastated Egypt crushed its people. In fact, it is likely that the only plague that fully affected the king was the death of his firstborn. As the king, he was likely above many of the affects of the other plagues.
Let this story be a challenge to leaders who are tempted to gain control through strength or manipulation. And let is be a challenge to followers who think they are somehow exempt from the damage such leaders bring.
Amaziah seemed attentive to the LORD as he began his reign as king of Judah 2800 years ago.
When preparing to go to war, he put together an impressive force of power. He hired mercenaries from the northern kingdom, Israel—100,000 of them.
However, a “man of God” came to him and discouraged him from using the mercenaries in the battle. He rather encouraged Amaziah to rely upon the LORD instead of seeking the help of his Israelite mercenaries.
Of course, Amaziah feared losing the money he had promised to the mercenaries. But he was encouraged by the man of God that the LORD would provide for him. Amaziah believed him, paid the cash he promised the mercenaries, and as a result was victorious in battle because he relied on the LORD.
King Amaziah reigned in Judah for 29 years, beating the 20 years that the average king ruled in the southern kingdom.
Scipture tells us “he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, yet not with a whole heart.”
2 Chronicles 25:2
The Slide
That sensitive heart that was willing to hear criticism, even criticism that would affect his wallet, disappeared however.
Once he had won the battle, Amaziah “brought the gods of the men of Seir and set them up as his gods and worshiped them, making offerings to them.”
Therefore the LORD was angry with Amaziah and sent to him a prophet, who said to him, “Why have you sought the gods of a people who did not deliver their own people from your hand?”
2 Chronicles 25:15
Instead of displaying a heart of love for the LORD, the sensitivity he had when he began his reign, Amaziah interupts a prophet sent by the LORD to challenge him, saying, “Have we made you a royal counselor? Stop! Why should you be struck down?”
So the prophet stopped, but said, “I know that God has determined to destroy you, because you have done this and have not listened to my counsel.”
2 Chronicles 25:16
Beginning Well
Unfortunately, this is so often the heart of man.
Leaders begin well. The LORD has given them vision for the organization they have been tasked with leading. Their motives, though always mixed—for we are never without sin—are that God be glorified in the church, business, or organization and that they serve people. Diane Langberg says,
Many times someone starts out believing they are called by God and instilled with a God-given vision. Somewhere down the road, when the vision has grown, the demands are great, and the pressure is on, the servant becomes obedient to the work and its demands rather than to Christ.
They begin a mission work in Africa that desires to help people use their gifts to create beauty, good crops, healthy societies, biblical churches, or other fulfillments of the “dominion mandate.” I worked for one of these visionary missionaries.
Or they plant a church that seeks to be engaged with the surrounding culture, giving light and a witness to Christ. They serve their neighborhoods and their churches expand exponentially.
Or they start a ministry helping people build their own home, giving witness to the love of Jesus. The ministry soon covers the globe.
Drinking the Koolaid
But, in time they begin to drink the koolaid of power and self-sufficiency.
Amaziah, after seeing the LORD’s destruction of his enemies in Seir, turned his eye upon his brothers in the north—Israel. He challenged King Joash and the king rebuffed him. Scripture says that the LORD was bringing about the downfall of Amaziah because he had turned from God to himself.
So, Amaziah, in his arrogance goes up against Israel. 2nd Chronicles says,
And Joash king of Israel captured Amaziah king of Judah, the son of Joash, son of Ahaziah, at Beth-shemesh, and brought him to Jerusalem and broke down the wall of Jerusalem for 400 cubits, from the Ephraim Gate to the Corner Gate.
The Israelite king stole all the gold and silver from the Temple and Amaziah’s palace in Jerusalem in addition to taking hostages back to Samaria with him.
Though Amaziah lived another 15 years in Jerusalem, Scripture is silent regarding those years. Those years of his reign are clearly of no consequence.
Amaziah’s slide into toxic leadership left him broken and in the end men within his own government made a conspiracy against him and he ran for the hills. However, they caught up with him and murdered him.
The Failure of Toxic Leadership
This is the way of toxic leadership. When man begins to rely upon himself—maybe on marketing, image control, power, and authority—he begins the slide into a leadership that no one wants. There will be rebellion, financial failure, and possibly a legacy of hatred rather than the glory the leader so desparately desires.
Toxic leadership almost never ends well.
But it is never too late to turn in repentance; to admit to failure. Turn from self to the LORD. Turn to the only One who can be relied upon to run your church, business, or organization.
Your legacy of self-importance is not nearly as important as His glory.
For many the book of Job in the Bible is a pandora’s box of interpretive difficulty.
If you are a black-and-white thinker, it is difficult to read, I imagine.
But Job is a very good place to go to understand more clearly how the counseling of victims of abuse in the home, workplace, or church has gone seriously wrong.
It is helpful to know the beginning and the end before wading into the middle.
In the story of Job—who was horribly tried by Satan at the approval of the LORD—moans in the agony of having lost all his children, his means of income, and is suffering terrible physical ailments.
In the end, his friends are called to account for their poor—sinful—counsel of Job.
So, now we wade into the middle. Because of Job’s suffering, his spiritual counselors are laying one guilt trip after another on him.
In their black-and-white thinking, they believe God blesses those who live righteously and curses those who break His laws. Because Job—who had been richly blessed prior to Satan’s destruction—is suffering horribly, his counselors think he must be cursed by God and therefore he must be living in sin.
Trial = Sin
This is not unfounded in Scripture and why some in their black-and-white beliefs grab and go with it in their thinking and counseling.
In Deuteronomy 28, Moses lays before God’s people the blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience.
For those who obey the LORD:
Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. 4 Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. 5 Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. 6 Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out . . . etc. Deuteronomy 28:3-6 (ESV)
For those who disobey:
Cursed shall you be in the city, and cursed shall you be in the field. 17 Cursed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl . . . etc. Deuteronomy 28:16-17 (ESV)
It Isn’t So Clear
I use the terms “black-and-white” in a negative way, because when it comes to blessings and curses, Scripture is not as clear on this topic as Deuteronomy 28 would lead you to believe.
It is indeed true that those who reject the LORD in unbelief and arrogance are cursed. But that curse may largely be seen in the judgment they face at the end of life for their rejection of their Creator, not in the middle. This idea is apparent in the story of Lazarus and the rich man (Luke 16:19f) and in multiple places in the Proverbs.
Jesus tells a parable in Luke 16 about the rich man and Lazarus:
“There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. 20 And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, 21 who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, 23 and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side.”
Luke 16:19-23 (ESV)
Notice that the rich man, who rejected his God, lived a life of sumptuous feasting every day. On the other hand, Lazarus was a poor man. Yet, the rich man ends up in Hell and Lazarus in Heaven.
We see in Proverbs:
Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways. Proverbs 28:6 (ESV)
Deuteronomy would lead us to believe—if we don’t look anywhere else—that the “poor” —therefore the suffering—is walking in sin rather than “integrity,” yet Proverbs 28 suggests that it is the “rich man” who is “crooked” —living in sin. How did he get “blessed” if he was disobedient?
But that is the flow of Scripture. There are proverbial statements that in this life are generally true, but the end of the story is where it all leads. The wicked, unbelieving rich man will end up in torment when his life is ended, but torment will possibly only be when that end of life judgment comes.
And conversely, the poor—unblessed in the world’s eyes—will face many trials in this life but in his faithfulness to the LORD be blessed abundently in the judgment. His poverty is not necessarily because of disobedience as we consider the whole of Scripture.
This brings me to Job’s counselors.
Worm Theology
At one point, Bildad, one of Job’s “friends” who was counseling him when he in torment, explained to Job that in his sin, man is a “maggot” or a “worm.”
4 How then can man be in the right before God? How can he who is born of woman be pure? 5 Behold, even the moon is not bright, and the stars are not pure in his eyes; 6 how much less man, who is a maggot, and the son of man, who is a worm!” Job 25:4-6
In the sense that we are deeply depraved as sinful human beings, wandering about in rebellion and foolishness, Bildad was right. Some complain about “worm theology” but there is biblical truth in it when considering our deep brokenness. Romans 3:9-13 confirms this understanding of man’s depravity.
However, Job’s counselors—not just Bildad—came at Job from a Deuteronomy 28 theology, not a full-on-biblical theology of suffering. This is how many counselors of abuse victims approach those victims. They look for the “fault” in the victim that brought the horrible treatment. They seek to “help” the victim see their own sin and turn from it. They can’t believe a Christian leader could be so sinful as to lie, manipulate, and intentionally crush those under their care.
Abuse is Never the Fault of the Abused
However, these judgments are beyond the purview of biblical counseling.
First of all, abuse victims are never at fault. If the counselor understands the roots of abuse, they will understand that victims never bring it on, but rather the abuser will simply abuse because it is in his heart.
In addition, there are professing Christians who are very depraved and cause incredible destruction.
They will coerce and control in order to fulfill their entitlement in this life. Often they get away with it like the rich man who got his wealth through evil. It seems like they can’t lose, especially to the victim as she sits helplessly by watching the abusive leader convince the board, friends, and stakeholders that he is the good guy in this scenario.
When you receive reports of abuse from a friend, co-worker, or congregant member listen carefully. Stay clear of Christian platitudes like, “You need to give grace. We are all worms and he needs grace just like you do.”
Abuse is not normal relational conflict between husband and wife, boss and subordinate, pastor and deacon, or teacher and student. The conflict is in the heart of the abuser. And never because of the victim’s sin.
As I read 1st Peter I was struck by how helpful his words should be to those who are abusive or have tendencies to be controlling, manipulative, and entitled. Those who struggle with these attitudes and behaviors need to take Peter’s words to heart.
Though there is much detailed work to be done in the text, I want to primarily get to the big picture of Peter’s first chapter, moving into the second.
Paul and Peter are both great at giving us in their writing, by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the big, beautiful picture first and then moving into the detail of living for Jesus next. They like to provide the “indicatives” first and “imperatives” next, while returning to the indicatives to re-emphasize our place in God’s world and all He has done for us.
They want us to know who we are first and then what we are to do with that knowledge next.
Imperishable
In verse three Peter begins with a beautiful doxology to God’s kindness to his people—those of us who have trusted in his kindness. He has done the work of saving us. He has given us new birth by the raising of Jesus from the dead.
That will never, ever go away. It is unfading . . . it is “imperishable,” he says.
Peter says, even as we go through difficult times—these Christians were going to or were facing great persecutions according to commentators—we can rejoice knowing Jesus wins!
Time for Action
As we come to 1:13, Peter begins to lay before us the call to action that results from this Good News.
It is time to take action. And ultimately this action takes place in the very depths of our soul. It is not simply outward behavior but a complete change of our inward man—mind and heart.
Here Peter quotes, as others in scripture quote, from Leviticus 11:44: “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
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Some would take this to be “acting good.” And in fact, this is where the abuser livesand breathes. He puts on an act for his church friends and leadership that he is righteous. But deep down, and for those who are under his authority, he breathes fire and hatred and control.
Peter doesn’t allow for this. Though he begins this passage with what sounds like outward appearances, he doesn’t stay there. He moves forward, digging down deep within our hearts.
22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart . . .
Notice the terms Peter uses: sincere, love, pure heart. Every one of those terms involves the inner man, not simply outward behavior. He has talked about “conducting” ourselves which is decidedly behavioral.
But he doesn’t stop there.
Not An Act
In Greek, sincere means “unfeigned.” It is not an act but what we really desire. We are not handing a cup of water out while thinking to ourselves, “I can’t stand this guy.”
Abusive leaders are almost always acting a part. They desire to look good to the watching world. This is why reporting (whisteblowing) is nearly always difficult and often unproductive. Those who hear the report rarely believe it. What they have seen and heard is that the pastor, manager, CEO, or coordinator is wonderful and has a heart of gold. He is skilled at his job. He radiates goodness.
This is what makes Jesus’ use of the term “white-washed tombs” so apropos. The tomb looks good on the outside with newly painted walls, but inside it is rotting fresh. So too, the toxic leader.
Put Away All Evil
All of this is driving to chapter 2 where Peter says,
So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.
1 Peter 2:1
Put away all the evil. If you abuse your authority—authority given by God to be used for his glory and other’s good—it is time to repent. Let’s look at these words Peter uses.
Malice: “Ill-will, desire to injure.” Maybe from jealousy (see below) or competitivesness you are seeking the downfall of someone subordinate or senior. You desire their demise.
Deceit: You are faking it. You don’t really care about those under your care or ministry even though you say you do. You just want to be in control and the top dog. In order to hold your place of prominence or to get ahead you lie and act.
Hypocrisy: “The acting of a stage player.” Closely related to deceit, you are acting one way while your heart is in another place. You maybe even use some outward humility if it gets you some attention for which you deeply long. But inside it is just an act.
Envy: You are not so much concerned about God’s glory but rather your own. When others get some attention, you seek to diminish it rather than encourage it. The narcissist runs on this.
Slander: This is your means of getting all that glory. “The act of damaging the good character of someone.” You tear them down; put them in their place. You explain, “She just isn’t that committed to the organization.” That way you look better and she must be lying about your toxicity.
If these describe your leadership “style,” it’s time to confess that you are a white-washed tomb.
It is time to do the difficult work of self-awareness; to ask the lord to show you how you have taken his good gifts and used them to destroy and hurt others rather than build up (Ephesians 4:11-13).
Unfortunately, the vast majority of toxic leaders will not listen to Peter, Paul, Jesus, or anyone but themselves. But, if any of this rings true to you of your heart, you are on the road to “recovery” having the humility it takes to repent.
Jesus seeks such ones as these to mold into the leaders He desires in His kingdom.
I have heard periodically that the Bible does not include the term, “abuse.”
However, I am not sure from where that idea came. There are a number of places that the translation of Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic words can be and are accurately understood to mean “abuse.”
In addition, language scholars instruct that it is abuse in much the same way we would define emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuse in our world of toxic leadership.
Matthew narrates the story of Jesus giving a sermon on, what has become known as, the Mount of Beatitudes. There Jesus uses the term rhaká (ῥακά) which means, according to the Theological Dictionary of the New Testmament,1 “blockhead or fool.”
But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.
Matthew 5:22 (ESV)
According to Kittel, the author of the TDNT, the word comes from the Aramaic term for abuse. He says, “The Aramaic term expresses disparagement accompanied by anger and contempt. Addressed to the foolish, thoughtless, or presumptuous person, it means ‘blockhead,’ and is the most common term of abuse in Jesus’ day.”
Kittel goes on to say that the sins of the tongue are very serious in God’s eyes: they are put on a par with murder.
In addition he says, “In the world of Jesus injury by words is of the utmost seriousness.”
Luke
Luke also records one of Jesus’ sermons in chapter 6 of his book. Here Jesus says,
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
Luke 6:27-28 (ESV)
The Greek term “epēreazō (ἐπηρεάζω)” means in English to “insult, to treat abusively, use despitefully, to revile, in a forensic sense to accuse falsely, and to threaten.”
Proverbs
The wise king Solomon noted,
Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.
Proverbs 22:10 (ESV)
The ESV translates the Hebrew term qâlôn (קָלוֹן) as abuse. That word means “shame, disgrace, dishonour, ignominy” according to Strongs Dictionary.
This is exactly as we understand emotional, psychological, or spiritual abuse.
Paul
Paul, in his second letter to Timothy tells the young pastor,
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 (ESV)
When the ESV says “abusive,” it is translating the Greek word, “blasphēmos” (βλάσφημος). You probably recognize the word. When we talk about blaspheming against the Lord, this is the word we are using.
It means, “speaking evil, slanderous, reproachful, railing, abusive.” Very strong terms for words used against others.
Summary
Hopefully you get the idea that indeed, Scripture does use words for abuse and it gives abusive words great weight.
The brother of a friend of ours expressed his frustration with his sister’s difficulty with an abusive husband by saying, “It’s a damn load.” He was put out by the relational damage but not very empathetic for what she was going through. He was only really concerned about the disruption in his own life.
This is what the sinful rebellion of God’s creatures brings about . . . a damn load. Abuse is a horrible sin and it is extraordinarily destructive.
Ronald Pitkin, Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, ed. Gerhard Kittel and Gerhard Friedrich, Abridged edition (W. B. Eerdmans, 2006). ↩︎
Unfortunately, strength = toxic too much of the time.
The warnings are clear in Scripture for those who rise to positions of leadership. There is a story in 2nd Chronicles that should strike fear into all leader’s hearts–or at least a healthy concern. A sixteen-year old was placed in leadership in Judah. His father, Amaziah had died and it was his turn to rule the nation.
And a long reign he had: fifty-two years.
Uzziah “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” as he began his reign. He sought God, was teachable (by the prophet Zechariah), and God made him prosper as he followed the Lord.
Scripture says,
God helped him against the Philistines and against the Arabians who lived in Gurbaal and against the Meunites. 8 The Ammonites paid tribute to Uzziah, and his fame spread even to the border of Egypt, for he became very strong.
2 Chronicles 26:7-8 (ESV)
His military might was a result of God’s delight in him. Uzziah was faithful to the Lord. There is so much encouragement here that such a young man should rule with wisdom and faith.
But.
Pride
But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 26:16 (ESV)
The Lord had set up a separation of powers (duties) in the theocracy of the Old Testament. The national political rulers (kings) were not allowed to interfer with the sacrificial system of the temple. Though there were often battles between the kings and priests, where the kings had responsibility to rule the nation, the priesthood made it evident that God ruled over the kings.
Uzziah’s unfaithfulness would be a footnote in his story if what happened next had been different.
17 But Azariah the priest went in after him, with eighty priests of the LORD who were men of valor, 18 and they withstood King Uzziah and said to him, “It is not for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the LORD, but for the priests, the sons of Aaron, who are consecrated to burn incense. Go out of the sanctuary, for you have done wrong, and it will bring you no honor from the LORD God.”
2 Chronicles 26:17-18 (ESV)
The priest, Azariah stood up to the king. Like Nathan in King David’s case (2 Samuel 12). Like all faithful friends and advisors to those in power over the centuries. Azariah was willing to do the messy work of challenging the wicked behavior of the most powerful person in the nation of Judah.
Anger
This is an important point of the story, and what comes next is the frustrating part.
19 Then Uzziah was angry. Now he had a censer in his hand to burn incense, and when he became angry with the priests, leprosy broke out on his forehead in the presence of the priests in the house of the LORD, by the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 26:19 (ESV)
Unfortunately, a reign that was godly and a witness to the Lord of heaven and earth ended in arrogance and entitlement. “He became proud.” Rather than admitting his foolish and arrogant behavior to the Lord (and Azariah), his sin was not a footnote but the fall of his rule in Judah.
In his pride, Uzziah was likely thinking that he could do what he wanted. He was powerful and was likely continually being coddled by his subordinates; told he was the greatest, winning all his battles, a real rock star.
No priest could tell him what to do.
But God did not allow him to continue in his arrogance. The Lord physically struck him, causing him to break out in leprosy.
And King Uzziah was a leper to the day of his death, and being a leper lived in a separate house, for he was excluded from the house of the LORD.
2 Chronicles 26:21
With dishonor and shame he went to the grave; turned out of his primary residence; disallowed entrance to the presence of God (“excluded from the house of the Lord”). Uzziah’s life was turned upside down.
Accountability
It is an important story for leaders. Each of us, in our places of influence, must understand the warnings that the Lord provides through the many stories in Scripture. We need the accountability of others. We need others who will, even if subordinate to us, be able to bring us grace through criticism.
We need to humble ourselves before the gracious and mighty hand of the Lord . . . before it is too late.
What happens down, deep within you when your subordinates, or even friends, begin to praise your holy name?
You are smart. You are skilled. You are important. You help the vulnerable.
Does your heart rise up and meet their praises with praises of its own? Does your heart congratulate itself and take on new proportions?
Being praised and being glad to do a job well, care for people well, or be particularly smart is in no way a bad thing. God is good. He has gifted every one of us with abilities and personalities to suit His important purposes of loving Him and our neighbor well. We are His image-bearers.
We can be praised, be thankful to the Lord for His work, and move on to the next task.
Paul and Barnabas knew what it was to be praised . . . in the extreme. Leaders do well to learn from the Apostles as they, in very godly ways, deflected the praise of man:
Now at Lystra there was a man sitting who could not use his feet. He was crippled from birth and had never walked. 9 He listened to Paul speaking. And Paul, looking intently at him and seeing that he had faith to be made well, 10 said in a loud voice, “Stand upright on your feet.” And he sprang up and began walking.
Acts s 14:8-18 (ESV)
This is a man that was obviously in need. He had “never walked” so there was no “temporary” paralysis about it. Everyone would know that what came after Paul’s command to “stand upright” was miraculous. There was no chance that Paul was a fraud.
God’s Have Come Down
So, how did the people respond? They responded according to their culture and belief system:
11 And when the crowds saw what Paul had done, they lifted up their voices, saying in Lycaonian, “The gods have come down to us in the likeness of men!” 12 Barnabas they called Zeus, and Paul, Hermes, because he was the chief speaker. 13 And the priest of Zeus, whose temple was at the entrance to the city, brought oxen and garlands to the gates and wanted to offer sacrifice with the crowds.
Paul and Barnabas had done something they would expect the mythological gods would do: heal a man who was unhealable by the society’s greatest doctors.
So, they named Paul and Barnabas according to their gods, fitting to their beliefs about those specific god’s jobs. Zeus and Hermes. Or, in Roman parlance, Jupiter and Mercurius.
According to one commentary,
“The main reason for the assignment of the two names was that the listeners recognised in St. Paul the gift of eloquence, which was the special attribute of Hermes . . . there may have been something in the taller stature and more stately presence of Barnabas which impressed them with the sense of a dignity like that of Jupiter.”1
We laugh at Greek Mythology, but they didn’t. It was a very big deal that the people thought Zeus and Hermes had paid them a visit and healed this man who had suffered since birth having no personal means of getting around, working, playing . . .
It was such a big deal that the priests of these mythological gods brought their wares, including oxen, to begin sacrifices to Paul and Barnabas right there in the street.
Turn Away from Little “g” gods
This is where we learn how God’s people, when in positions of influence and leadership and praised mightly for their skills, need to respond:
14 But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of it, they tore their garments and rushed out into the crowd, crying out, 15 “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are men, of like nature with you, and we bring you good news, that you should turn from these vain things to a living God, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and all that is in them. 16 In past generations he allowed all the nations to walk in their own ways. 17 Yet he did not leave himself without witness, for he did good by giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.” 18 Even with these words they scarcely restrained the people from offering sacrifice to them.
Turn away from your little “g” gods – Jupiter and Mercurius – Paul and Barnabas say. They deflected the higest of praise, and redirected the people to the One true God.
Yes, this is an extreme example, yet taken into our Western context, the idolatry present in the hearts of these people can be found just as evident in our hearts as we lift up leaders in our society. Jean Lipmum-Blumen suggests our idolatry of leaders (from a non-Christian perspective) is based on “Our need for security and certainty, which prompts us to surrender freedom to achieve them.”2
Indeed, the people in the New Testament times turned to that which could give them answers to their lives’ most pressing questions.
As Leaders, How Do We Respond?
For our purposes, I want to turn to Paul and Barnabas. Their response is educational for influencers. You cannot always help the idolatry of those who observe your skills as a leader, but how you respond to their praises, both outwardly and inwardly, tell much about your own idolatry and may help them as well.
There is much riding on a leader’s response. In some cases, it is just a matter of redirecting the praise as it seems in the Apostles’ (Paul and Barnabas) case. But there is more riding on a leader’s response than simply redirecting. Lipmum-Blumen helpfully suggests:
“Our fear of physical death is not the sole cause of our anxiety. In fact, the anxiety we feel in the face of social death may be just as great, possibly greater, than our dread of physical death. Social belonging is a powerful drive for which we are willing to sacrifice much.”3
When a leader redirects praise he or she may be bringing on “social death.” This act of humility may also have the effect of your adoring masses being less enamored with you. What happens if suddenly you are not so worshipped anymore by subordinates? Can you live with that?
It is a risk that Paul and Barnabas knew they must take. They had no right to steal praise from the One true God who rules over His world and is the One true Healer (Psalms 47:6-8). No matter the results of their redirection, they needed to give God the honor.
The redirecting of praise, as an act of humility by leaders, may be in a variety of directions:
To the Lord,
To another leader responsible for the work ultimately,
To a subordinate who had the orginal idea,
To someone outside the organization who gave you the idea or means for completing the task.
The list could go on, I am sure. All of it ultimately resides at the feet of Jesus, but He has likely used other people to bring good and praising (not worshipping) them is good and right.
Heart of the Matter
But, now most importantly, get to the heart of the matter: your heart.
It is not enough ever in the Christian life to focus on “acts of humility”–“Acting” like you are redirecting the praise. Sure it is helpful for destroying the idols of your subordinates.
But, the Lord looks on your heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
Is your heart redirecting the praise? Do you really believe that you gifted yourself? Do you really believe that ultimately your desire, discipline, and self-direction gave you the ability to be great in the eyes of the worshipping subordinates?
Biblically, this is idolatry. It is giving credit to someone other than the Lord for what He does. Consider the following passages (you can read them in the notes below if you are too lazy, like me to look them up):
So, the prescription for us, as we receive adoration, is to consider how the Lord has blessed us and given us even the opportunity to do good, not just the ability.
Allow that . . . in fact, drive it into your heart. Ask the Lord to bring it to mind every time you are tempted to receive and hold onto the praises of man.
NOTES:
Ellicott C. J. 1897. A New Testament Commentary for English Readers. London: Cassell. ↩︎
Lipman-Blumen, Jean. The Allure of Toxic Leaders (p. 29). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition, 29. ↩︎
Lipman-Blumen, Jean. The Allure of Toxic Leaders (p. 39). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition, 38. ↩︎
Exodus 31:1-5 (ESV) The LORD said to Moses, 2 “See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, 3 and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, 4 to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, 5 in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft. ↩︎
Job 12:7-10 (ESV) “But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you; 8 or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you. 9 Who among all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? 10 In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind. ↩︎
Acts 17:24-25 (ESV) The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, 25 nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. ↩︎
Deuteronomy 8:17-18 (NIV) You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” 18 But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. ↩︎
