Often the focus of Bible teaching—when it comes to leadership and followership—is on the follower.
In particular, the focus is on being submissive more often than not.
I understand that. There are several Scripture passages that call on subordinates in various contexts to submit to the authority under which God has place us (Romans 13; 1 Peter 2:13f).
However, Scripture also speaks to those in authority. In fact, because of the power differential, I would suggest the greater responsibility is on the authority to use that authority in a God-glorifying and respectful way. The frequency with which the Lord speaks to those who oppress—actions that crush those who have less power—is striking (Exodus 3:9; Isaiah 58:6).
Job of an Older Man
The Apostle Paul makes an interesting statement that has some bearing on this in his letter to Timothy.
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 (ESV)
Timothy was a young man by all accounts and given the job of an older man. He was leading a new church in a time when elders—those who are older in age—were expected to be leaders, particularly wise religious leaders.
Paul found it necessary to instruct Timothy in how to handle his position as a spiritual leader to those who were younger and of older age. It is in his instruction to Timothy in what his attitude should be towards younger folks in his congregation that I am most interested in.
It is in this instruction to younger people that Paul uses, what I would consider, a unique and surprising terminology. He says, don’t rebuke them, but rather treat them as “brothers” and “sisters.”
Timothy is older (even though young). Timothy is probably more knowledgeable. He was “appointed” by an apostle for his position. He was a “big man.”
Yet, Paul says treat those younger like equals. That is what a brother or sister is. He/she is of equal stature. And this is the attitude Timothy needs to have.
We would not expect that.
And many leaders in the church wouldn’t expect that and probably would be put out by Paul’s instruction if they took the time to consider the words Paul is using. Rather, we see often those who lead in the church treat others as if they are children. I have heard that over and over from those with toxic leaders.
It is how I was treated by a mission leader; not as a colleague, but as a child.
Encourage or Rebuke?
Notice also that Timothy is called to take a clearly softer stance with those he leads and instructs. Paul says, “encourage” them rather than “rebuke” them.
To “rebuke” is defined as “to chastise with words, to chide, upbraid.”1 On the other hand, “encourage” means in Greek “to address, speak to, (call to, call upon), which may be done in the way of exhortation, entreaty, comfort, instruction, etc.”2
Timothy had the authority of an elder in the church, yet he should not use that authority to “lord it over” those under that authority, but rather “encourage” them in their walk with Christ.
One interviewee of mine in the northeast was treated as if she was of lesser intelligence by her pastor, though she had been an integral part of the church ministry for years. A friend of mine had developed an exceptional ministry to women who were in abusive marriages and she had a doctorate in theology and yet was simply ignored. Another interviewee developed much the same kind of ministry in the southwest and was ignored, treated with disrespect, and finally run out of the church.
These are not the attitudes and actions of the kind of pastor Paul was calling Timothy to be.
Despite the difference in age, in a culture that held to the authority of others older than oneself, Paul was counter-culture in suggesting Timothy treat the younger as equals—those who had less authority than himself.
Calling all leaders: This takes humility, patience, and a self-awareness. We have to dig deep into our hidden motives and attitudes and seek the Holy Spirit’s help in transforming likely arrogant and defensive and domineering attitudes.
Treat your subordinates as brothers and sisters, not as children.
Notes:
Strong, James (2010), The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (Expanded edition, n.p.). ↩︎
Strong, James (2010), The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible (Expanded edition, n.p.). ↩︎
Ted’s story is hard to even start the telling. His story is a call to the church to be the church.
The brokenness of leadership in his denomination is so overwhelming that you begin to wonder if there is any real church left. Jesus’ church is redeemed and beautiful to Him, yet she so often acts as if she would have nothing to do with Him.
Jesus surely loves His bride, but at times I find that surprising.
Ted’s Story
It began several years ago when a committee was formed in Ted’s denomination’s regional leadership to investigate charges of sexual harassment against one of the pastors.
The committee, that acts a bit like a Grand Jury in the regional grouping of churches, presented a one-page summation of their investigation. They said they found no reason to move towards a trial as there were no strong reasons to suggest the pastor was guilty.
Ted found it strange that the summation said there was no guilt, but the committee provided “pastoral corrections” in the summation due to his “sexual misconduct.” He thought, “If there is no guilt, why would there be corrections to be made in his ministry?”
Ted and others asked for the full report—which was four pages long—but were refused. However, they discovered there had been one woman who acted as an “advisor” to the committee and she had published a “minority opinion.”
That sounded suspicious.
Ted began to speak with others, including women who were connected in some way to the case. In time, he determined he should stand up and be counted, filing a complaint with the regional leadership seeking justice for the women (multiple) who had reported the sexual misconduct.
In addition, he found that there had been multiple reports of impropriety against the pastor for at least five years before.
At this point, he told his wife, Rebecca that three things were going to happen:
There was going to be a huge move to exonerate the pastor.
He would be accused of having an affair with one of the women the pastor sexually harrassed.
It would all end with Ted being charged with something.
The Pastor’s Power Play
Ted’s complaint was refused and so he took it to the “supreme court” of his denomination for a ruling. That “court” upheld his complaint and ordered that a new investigative committee be appointed by the regional leadership.
However, a group of pastors suggested that an independent organization be hired by the regional leadership to investigate the charges. If they followed through, Ted would need to drop his charges against the pastor. He willingly did so that the independent investigators would have a free hand.
However, the regional leadership allowed the acccused pastor to speak at length and he convinced the leadership that the independent organization recommended was untrustworthy. His reason? He argued that they would support the victims.
He suggested that the regional leadership investigate and if they found guilt, then hire the independent group.
The pastor then convinced the leadership to appoint an investigative committee that had two lawyers on it. Then proceeded to convince them to put two lawyers on the committee whom he thought he had wrangled into his camp over the preceeding months.
In the end, his nearly hand-chosen committee found him guilty. But his personal lawyer, from one of the biggest law firms in the state, sought and obtained an immediate cease and desist order from the civil courts and stopped the process.
Contumacy
Men in the regional leadership then suggested bringing the pastor up on charges for his refusal to heed the ruling of the committee called “contumacy” (stubborn refusal to obey or comply with authority). In the rulebook of the denomination it states that a pastor who is found to be guilty of contumacy by the denominational “courts” must repent or be excommunicated.
The pastor wrote a letter that he was amending his lawsuit against parties in the denomination but that he was “not admitting guilt.” Ted stood before the leadership and asked if this was not a clear sign he was unrepentant.
Others rose to suggest that “repentance does not always involve admitting to sin.”
Really?
Ted was livid and suggested that the regional leadership organization be disolved and that their group of churches be melded into another regional grouping of churches because he said, “We will never, ever conduct a fair trial.” He wondered what the use of their regional leadership was if they could not judge fairly.
In the end, the highest court heard the case against the pastor and found him not guilty.
One of the parties involved in the case remarked, “This is a coverup and meant to send a message to the denomination that you never challenge a pastor.”
Band of Brothers
Ted shared with me the story of Mark, a pastor who had incredible influence in the regional leadership. He described him as one of the biggest narcissists he has ever seen. Twenty to thirty people have told him Mark was spiritually abusive.
When another pastor was brought up on charges Mark stood to support him, calling it an “injustice.” Ted was talking to him a year later and asked him about the pastor he had supported. Mark said the accused pastor was one of the worst pastors he had seen. He was “super legalistic, bad with people . . . Mark went on and on,” Ted said.
Ted asked, “Why did you fight his firing?”
Mark told him, “He is a pastor. We can’t allow elders in the churches to rule.”
But, Ted pressed, “He was abusive.” Mark replied, “Oh, I don’t doubt that at all. But we have to protect the regional leadership of pastors. It is a ‘band of brothers,'” referring to the movie by that name.
Ted told me he can point to at least four other cases of charges brought against pastors where the reaction was always to defend the pastor “even when indefensible.”
What Can We Say?
Ted said he has been re-reading “To Kill a Mockingbird” and is finding that someone who seeks justice in his denomination for those under pastoral abuse experience something akin to African Americans in the 50s.
It begins to look like Jesus before the Sanhedrin where the highest Jewish court repeatedly broke their own rules due to their own bias and blindness. Finding an innocent Jesus guilty; while drowning in His blood.
Or the leaders of Israel during the time of Ezekiel when the Lord calls them to account for their wicked leadership:
The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered. . . Ezekiel 34:4-5 (ESV)
When the leadership of God’s people reject His unmistakeable teaching to humbly serve His children, there will be unmeasurable harm done to the Church.
Ted’s story should be a clarion call to church leadership:
Repent or suffer the fate that you so desperately are trying to stave off—the scattering of God’s people.
How in the World
I asked Ted how in the world he has stood strong in the midst of all the attacks he has faced.
Ted noted that all three of the predictions he made to Rebecca have proven true.
As noted above, there was a huge movement to protect the erring pastor.
Ted was indeed accused of having an affair with one of the women who came forward to report the pastor’s sexual misconduct—even though Ted has only actually see her and the other women who reported maybe five times.
And charges have been filed against him in the church courts that he is currently battling.
Ted told me he has found solace and strength in three things:
Ted said his wife has been amazing. She has been his support and encouragement all along.
He enjoys a cohort of other pastors and Ted said they “have been rock solid friends through it all.” They have helped him write complaints, checked in on him periodically, and prayed with him often.
He sought out a Christian counselor. At one particular point the counselor suggested two things:
Find an EMDR counselor as soon as possible. Ted said, “That has been huge.” This type of treatment for trauma has been incredibly helpful to many victims of abuse. See Bessel van der Kolk’s book here.
And surprisingly the counselor suggested he find a Brazilian jiu jitsu gym. Ted said, “It was the greatest thing I have done.” He was amazed that the others in the club were so supportive of each other. He noted, “When there is a new guy, the advanced one’s job is to help him by submitting to him in the wrestling, showing him how to win.” He added, “If you try to hurt others, you will be kicked out of the gym immediately.”
I really was amazed by Ted’s mental and spiritual health despite all he has gone through.
Quite frankly, I cannot imagine being where he is if I had suffered all he has to advocate for victims of such horrendous leadership.
The toxic leader will be threatened by the slightest show of strength from subordinates. This was the story of the new king of Egypt in the time following the death of Joseph.
As a little background, Joseph, the son of Jacob, had been taken as a slave from his family to Egypt—that is a whole story in itself. Through a variety of amazing circumstances directed by the Lord, Joseph’s ability to read the dreams of others came to the attention of the king.
Having read the king’s troubling dreams, the king appointed Joseph to oversee the nation’s food supply. The king had dreamed (symbolically) of seven years of abundance followed by a seven-year drought. God gave Joseph incredible wisdom that saved the Egyptian nation and many surrounding nations through his wise management of their agriculture.
Joseph’s family—God’s people—moved to Egypt during this time and were given good land to farm by the king. The “Israelites” grew in numbers and after Joseph died, Exodus 1:8-11 picks up the story:
Now there arose a new king over Egypt, who did not know Joseph. 9 And he said to his people, “Behold, the people of Israel are too many and too mighty for us. 10 Come, let us deal shrewdly with them, lest they multiply, and, if war breaks out, they join our enemies and fight against us and escape from the land.” 11 Therefore they set taskmasters over them to afflict them with heavy burdens. They built for Pharaoh store cities, Pithom and Raamses.
Exodus 1:8-11 (ESV)
You have to the ask the question, “Why would the king think the Israelites would join Egypt’s enemies and fight against them?” Egypt had proven to be a good place to work and raise their families. The Israelites were prospering because of the former Pharoah’s (king) kindness to them.
Why, Why, Why
However, it appears that the Israelites were already in the grips of the Egyptians. They did not appear to be equals in their citizenry. The king (and the other Egyptians) appeared to have power over these foreign people. This is evidenced by the fact the king could set “taskmasters over them to afflict them with heavy burdens.”
This new Pharaoh would prove in the story to be a toxic leader.
The Egyptian king had the ability to rule over them in a toxic way and chose to do so. So, he chose to take toxic control. An average leader might consider how to woo his subordinates. Not the Egyptian king. . . nor a toxic leader of any sort.
Robert Hare wrote,
There is a class of individuals who have been around forever and who are found in every race, culture, society and walk of life. Everybody has met these people, been deceived and manipulated by them, and forced to live with or repair the damage they have wrought.1
If you know the story, you know that Exodus goes on to describe the destruction wrought by the king in the lives of the Egyptians and the subsequent judgments God brought upon the nation of Egypt because of the king’s horrific toxicity. As Hare notes, the Egyptians were “forced to live with or repair the damage [the king had] wrought.”
This is the way of toxic leadership. The destruction a narcissistic or abusive leader causes can be far-reaching and long-lasting. But generally, it is people in the organization, nation, business, or church that have to, in the end, live with it or try to repair it.
And it gets worse
Barbara Kellerman, the Founding Executive Director of the Harvard Kennedy School’s Center for Public Leadership, wrote of the common direction these toxic leaders go; down. It only gets worse. There is example after example. It is extremely rare that a bad leader becomes good. Rather their slippery slope is all downhill.
Kellerman tells the story of Volkswagen’s former CEO, Martin Winterkorn.
The effect of Winterkorn’s bad leadership was cumulative. The longer it lasted, the higher the cost to everyone adversely affected. Volkswagen’s cheating was not a single, quickly aborted instance of wrongdoing, never to be repeated. It was the opposite. It went on for eight years, the price paid by the victims of Volkswagen’s wrongdoing escalating with each passing day.2
But this should not surprise us as Christians. Sin is crouching at the door (Gen. 4:7) and without the intervention of Christ, it goes generally from bad to worse.
There are people who are truly driven by evil as Dan Allender describes (and it only gets worse):
All of us are capable of doing evil things, but evil people are driven by a self-interest that is so heartless, conscious, and cruel that it delights in stealing from others the lifeblood of their soul. Often the one who delights in evil is an ordinary, unassuming person who hides behind a facade of normalcy. Few people who are evil ever appear evil, even after the evidence of their deceit, destructiveness, and hardness is exposed.3
Keeping Clean of Defilement
It is difficult to watch the masses follow after narcissistic and abusive leaders in any organizational setting. They might think the leader holds some values they hold or promote some policies they promote. So, they think those positive traits will keep the followers clean of defilement. But, that is not how it works.
The followers of the Egyptian king suffered much the same from God’s judgment as did the king. The plagues that devastated Egypt crushed its people. In fact, it is likely that the only plague that fully affected the king was the death of his firstborn. As the king, he was likely above many of the affects of the other plagues.
Let this story be a challenge to leaders who are tempted to gain control through strength or manipulation. And let is be a challenge to followers who think they are somehow exempt from the damage such leaders bring.
I have seen multiple cases where a church leader has been toxic in certain areas of his shepherding and has plagerized his teaching.
There seems to be a certain sinful desire in man to gain the glory. Rather than give credit where it is due, they use impressive information or ideas from the thoughts of others and present it as their own.
There are certainly mistakes made. It is not that uncommon to have read or heard something in days—or years—past that pop into mind while studying Scripture that seems like it did just that: pop into your mind. Recently, I have used a particular phrase multiple times that someone reading it asked if it came from someone else’s book. It hit me that indeed it was and it is unique enough that I need to be referencing the author’s work.
Seeking Glory for Others
Leaders of Christian organizations, churches, and businesses need to take a principle from this idea: The Lord desires us to humbly seek the glory of others.
Jesus helps us understand how important it is to do this in John 7. There the Apostle John explains:
About the middle of the feast Jesus went up into the temple and began teaching. 15 The Jews therefore marveled, saying, “How is it that this man has learning, when he has never studied?” 16 So Jesus answered them, “My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me. 17 If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. 18 The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.
John 7:14-18 (ESV)
There is a principal here that challenges our puffed-up selves. We want glory. We desire glory.
To be the first to have thought of an idea or developed a program or reached many people. It is insidious. It is like black tendrils reaching into our hearts and turning it ganegrene.
There is an incredible story of man’s arrogance and the judgment that God brought in response. King Herod, who ruled when Jesus was crucified, was speaking before the people and this is what happened:
And the people were shouting, “The voice of a god, and not of a man!” 23 Immediately an angel of the Lord struck him down, because he did not give God the glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last.
Acts 12:22-23 (ESV)
Jesus shows us a better way. Despite being God, he humbled himself and gave credit to his Father—certainly one of the many incomprehensible aspects of Trinitarian theology. It gives us a perfect example of what leaders should be doing every day. A Christian leader’s responsibility is to first give God the glory and secondly to give his team the glory.
Teaming
I have written often about “teams” in the organizational and church setting using the research of others with much greater knowledge than me. Amy Edmondson, in her book called Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy provides wonderful analysis and application of this idea.1
Edmondson notes that organizations (businesses) need to learn in order to develop and grow. They must respond to the ever-changing environments in which we live and work. Unfortunately, she writes, “Many organizations still rely on the top-down, command-and-control approaches that fueled growth and profitability in the industrial era.” (loc. 267-268)
Many churches and Christian organizations have a high regard for submission to and the rule of those in positions of authority. We give respect to elders and bosses and those older than us. This is all well and good, but I want in this writing to challenge those who live in those positions of power and authority whether primarily relational or formal.
If these leaders want to minister to their flocks whether in a business, church, or non-profit organization, they will need to take on the words of Jesus and learn from those who have studied this extensively like Edmondson.
In defining the helpfulness of teams, Edmondson explains,
Teaming blends relating to people, listening to other points of view, coordinating actions, and making shared decisions.
loc. 278-279
These are the first steps.
How many leaders do you know truly listen to other points of view . . . and receive them graciously without criticism but truly open-mindedness? Without defensiveness of their own ideas? Do you?
And then, make “shared decisions?”
We are getting closer to Jesus’ words, “The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true.”
There needs to be an intentionality in leadership to build these teams where glory is given to others not self. Edmondson points out,
Teaming, it seems, requires a new type of leadership that supports speaking up, asking questions, and sharing ideas. In short, teaming requires a leadership mindset that cultivates an environment conducive to learning. I use the term “organizing to learn” to describe this leadership mindset and its accompanying practices.
loc. 622-624
Just think: Jesus was the perfect leader. He never made a bad decision. He was omniscient—he had all knowledge.
And yet, you continually see him working with others to help them come to decisions and work things through. He does not crush them with his own ideas—though he could very easily, because his ideas are always right—much like he handles his disciples when he sends them out to learn by experience in Luke 10. He gave them the basic ground rules of engagement and then received them back with encouragement for all they learned and saw.
You can hear their excitement in becoming an integral part of Jesus’ work. He allowed them to experience glory as they went about teaching and healing.
Tapping the Gifts of Subordinates
Edmondson speaks of image-bearing in subordinates without necessarily understanding how God created his people in his image:
The difference starts with a basic mindset about human beings. Whereas industrialization essentially infantilized workers, the knowledge-based economy only works well when it restores workers on all levels to self-respecting, self-determining adulthood.
loc. 845-847
Giving glory to another means you respect their views and wish their abilities to be tapped and encouraged. But this isn’t just using them. Get what you can out of them and discard them.
That is the makings of the toxic leader.
A leader must truly respect and desire to build up the talents in his subordinates. This can open the way for those under authority to truly use their gifts. But that isn’t natural in the hierarchy of the church, organization, or business as Edmondson notes:
Research shows that hierarchy, by its very nature, dramatically reduces speaking up by those lower in the pecking order. . . As a result, in most organizations, even if leaders at the top of the hierarchy say they welcome employee feedback, and even if people have the knowledge and training to say something of importance , they still may remain silent out of fear of negative consequences.
loc. 1226-1227, 1229-1231
It takes real work and care to develop the voices of those under your leadership. Much of that care comes in how the leader responds to ideas of subordinates. Does the pastor take ideas and use them even when they conflict with his own?
Does the manager run with a subordinate’s idea though he knows it may fail . . . and then give encouragement and help in responding to the problems created by the failure? Rather than scolding and anger?
Give Away the Glory
Toxic leadership most often involves the failure to fulfill the biblical example that Paul teaches in Ephesians when he says church leaders need “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.”
So too, organizational and business leaders are called to do everything possible to build up the ministry—and glory—of their subordinates.
Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy. Edmondson, Amy C. , 1 edition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012. ↩︎
Amaziah seemed attentive to the LORD as he began his reign as king of Judah 2800 years ago.
When preparing to go to war, he put together an impressive force of power. He hired mercenaries from the northern kingdom, Israel—100,000 of them.
However, a “man of God” came to him and discouraged him from using the mercenaries in the battle. He rather encouraged Amaziah to rely upon the LORD instead of seeking the help of his Israelite mercenaries.
Of course, Amaziah feared losing the money he had promised to the mercenaries. But he was encouraged by the man of God that the LORD would provide for him. Amaziah believed him, paid the cash he promised the mercenaries, and as a result was victorious in battle because he relied on the LORD.
King Amaziah reigned in Judah for 29 years, beating the 20 years that the average king ruled in the southern kingdom.
Scipture tells us “he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, yet not with a whole heart.”
2 Chronicles 25:2
The Slide
That sensitive heart that was willing to hear criticism, even criticism that would affect his wallet, disappeared however.
Once he had won the battle, Amaziah “brought the gods of the men of Seir and set them up as his gods and worshiped them, making offerings to them.”
Therefore the LORD was angry with Amaziah and sent to him a prophet, who said to him, “Why have you sought the gods of a people who did not deliver their own people from your hand?”
2 Chronicles 25:15
Instead of displaying a heart of love for the LORD, the sensitivity he had when he began his reign, Amaziah interupts a prophet sent by the LORD to challenge him, saying, “Have we made you a royal counselor? Stop! Why should you be struck down?”
So the prophet stopped, but said, “I know that God has determined to destroy you, because you have done this and have not listened to my counsel.”
2 Chronicles 25:16
Beginning Well
Unfortunately, this is so often the heart of man.
Leaders begin well. The LORD has given them vision for the organization they have been tasked with leading. Their motives, though always mixed—for we are never without sin—are that God be glorified in the church, business, or organization and that they serve people. Diane Langberg says,
Many times someone starts out believing they are called by God and instilled with a God-given vision. Somewhere down the road, when the vision has grown, the demands are great, and the pressure is on, the servant becomes obedient to the work and its demands rather than to Christ.
They begin a mission work in Africa that desires to help people use their gifts to create beauty, good crops, healthy societies, biblical churches, or other fulfillments of the “dominion mandate.” I worked for one of these visionary missionaries.
Or they plant a church that seeks to be engaged with the surrounding culture, giving light and a witness to Christ. They serve their neighborhoods and their churches expand exponentially.
Or they start a ministry helping people build their own home, giving witness to the love of Jesus. The ministry soon covers the globe.
Drinking the Koolaid
But, in time they begin to drink the koolaid of power and self-sufficiency.
Amaziah, after seeing the LORD’s destruction of his enemies in Seir, turned his eye upon his brothers in the north—Israel. He challenged King Joash and the king rebuffed him. Scripture says that the LORD was bringing about the downfall of Amaziah because he had turned from God to himself.
So, Amaziah, in his arrogance goes up against Israel. 2nd Chronicles says,
And Joash king of Israel captured Amaziah king of Judah, the son of Joash, son of Ahaziah, at Beth-shemesh, and brought him to Jerusalem and broke down the wall of Jerusalem for 400 cubits, from the Ephraim Gate to the Corner Gate.
The Israelite king stole all the gold and silver from the Temple and Amaziah’s palace in Jerusalem in addition to taking hostages back to Samaria with him.
Though Amaziah lived another 15 years in Jerusalem, Scripture is silent regarding those years. Those years of his reign are clearly of no consequence.
Amaziah’s slide into toxic leadership left him broken and in the end men within his own government made a conspiracy against him and he ran for the hills. However, they caught up with him and murdered him.
The Failure of Toxic Leadership
This is the way of toxic leadership. When man begins to rely upon himself—maybe on marketing, image control, power, and authority—he begins the slide into a leadership that no one wants. There will be rebellion, financial failure, and possibly a legacy of hatred rather than the glory the leader so desparately desires.
Toxic leadership almost never ends well.
But it is never too late to turn in repentance; to admit to failure. Turn from self to the LORD. Turn to the only One who can be relied upon to run your church, business, or organization.
Your legacy of self-importance is not nearly as important as His glory.
There were two leaders responsible for the split of Israel and Judah in the Old Testament recounted for us in 1st Kings and 2nd Chronicles. Both leaders are good examples of bad leadership.
I have said it before: I have hopes when I write these blogs that those who are on the edge of leading abusively—or are maybe even over the edge—will read and hear words that the LORD uses to turn their hearts. Even when I am writing directly to the victims of toxic leadership, I hope leaders will develop some empathy and seek to reform their own ways.
Jeroboam and Rehoboam led the nation of Israel into two camps—and geographic localities. Ten of the twelve tribes followed Jeroboam and made up Israel in the north (Samaria) while two tribes followed Rehoboam and were in the south including Jerusalem, the city of David.
Jeroboam, the Providential Hero
The kingdom of Israel was Rehoboam’s birthright as he was Solomon’s son and rightful heir. However, Solomon’s sin and foolish leadership at the end of his reign brought a partial judgment of God on the nation resulting in the LORD putting Jeroboam in leadership of the northern tribes—he was not in the promised line of David.
In ways, Jeroboam is a bit of a hero to begin with. When Solomon was having work done in Jerusalem, Scripture says, “The man Jeroboam was very able, and when Solomon saw that the young man was industrious he gave him charge over all the forced labor of the house of Joseph (1 Kings 11:28).”
It is a positive introduction to this future leader of (some of) God’s people.
Jeroboam was taken aside by a prophet (Ahijah the Shilonite) and told,
And I will take you, and you shall reign over all that your soul desires, and you shall be king over Israel. And if you will listen to all that I command you, and will walk in my ways, and do what is right in my eyes by keeping my statutes and my commandments, as David my servant did, I will be with you and will build you a sure house, as I built for David, and I will give Israel to you.
1 Kings 11:37-38 (ESV)
A wonderful promise to Jeroboam: “Follow me and I will be with you.”
On the other hand, Rehoboam does not start well in the south. Scripture tells us he answered “harshly” the request of the people that he not lead like his father did (1 Kings 12:16-24). Thus, the split in Israel and Jeroboam’s opportunity to lead a good portion of the nation in the way of the good kings.
Jeroboam, the Toxic Leader
But Jeroboam instead took the path of toxic leadership: self-protectionism.
As he began to establish his reign, he built an important city in the hill country named Shechem and then the city Penuel in addition. Shechem was the location where Abram built an altar to God because He appeared to him (Genesis 12:7). It was a place of promise and worship.
However, in the intervening years, the LORD had established Jerusalem as his place of rule and His temple was also there. The LORD put it there for His worship and sacrifices—sacrifices were not allowed by God anywhere but in the Jerusalem Temple.
Unfortunately, Jeroboam became fearful that the ten tribes he was leading would go on their annual pilgrimage to sacrifice in the Jerusalem Temple never to return. Maybe Jerusalem would just be too enticing for them.
He even feared his life, thinking, “People will turn again to their lord, to Rehoboam king of Judah, and they will kill me and return to Rehoboam king of Judah (1 Kings 12:27).”
Like the Berlin wall, Jeroboam set up a spiritual / psychological wall of demarcation by providing alternative places of worship and sacrifice in Shechem to keep the Israelites captivated with Samaria.
So Jeroboam became a toxic leader.
Seeing the Toxicity
He mimicked Temple worship with the addition of providing golden calves—idols—to the mix and telling the people, “Behold your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. (1 Kings 12:28)” He provided similar festivals to those God had given the people, giving the Samaritans new traditions tied to the old.
We then see Jeroboam’s slide into toxic leadership in is his response to criticism for his idolatry and rebellion against the LORD. As he made sacrifices—something he was not allowed to do as king—a prophet from Judah in the south challenged him. Jeroboam became angry and commanded that the guards take the prophet.
However, the LORD struck Jeroboam with leprosy and he cried out to be healed by the prophet which the LORD graciously did.
What Are Those Toxic Traits?
Toxic leadership almost always involves a heightened sense of anxiety at the loss of leadership and the adoration of others resulting in defensiveness and blame-shifting when confronted.
Often a leader will respond to criticism seemingly well to begin with, but over time—sometimes only hours—he will begin to create justifications and point to others to take the blame.
A good way to determine if your leader is toxic is to give him the “Response Test.” Kindly, graciously, and humbly challenge your leader. How does he or she respond? Keep in mind that many people will respond immediately with justifications or defensiveness. However, if they are toxic, they will keep it up and possibly even retaliate against you, isolate you from others in the organization, or simply ignore you.
If they are not toxic, they will come around. They may not agree with you, but they will consider your claim and express some form of appreciation for it.
Toxic Followers
Unfortunately, when the leader shifts the blame in response, instead of allowing the blame to remain on the leader, some followers—in the interest of pleasing their powerful leader—will take the blame themselves or soften the effects of the foolish behavior of the leader.
Middle-management is notorious for this complicity.
They may feel—rightly—that keeping their jobs or status within the organization requires providing a buffer between the subordinates and the toxic boss. It can almost be a badge of honor for them to seek to mediate between their boss and their employees. It feels “above the fray,” “mature,” and even may give a sense of power to middle managers.
But in the end, it always collapses. There really is no softening or mediating toxic leadership.
So, Jeroboam’s rule collapsed. In 2 Chronicles 13:20 it says:
Jeroboam did not recover his power in the days of Abijah. And the LORD struck him down, and he died.
It ended with his battle against Judah. Whereas, Judah sought the LORD, Jeroboam had slid into toxic leadership, worshipping those who were not God.
Have you ever seen a leader boast in his weaknesses?
First of all, in his job interview he shared all the amazing leadership qualities he possesses and all the victories on the field of organizational management he attained.
And second, all those followers must be given confidence in his acuity and wisdom.
So, what if a leader boasted in his weaknesses?
The Apostle Paul, one of the greatest leaders of the world-wide Christian church said,
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Cor 12:7-9
Paul filled a significant amount of the New Testament with his writing . . . but he never had a press secretary or agent.
We live in a marketing-rich environment. The purveyors of product hype bludgeon us with their images and words through every form of communication—and there are many forms of communication nowadays.
It is taken for granted that even within Christianity, founded upon the testimonies of people like Paul, to reach a world lost in sin our churches and Christian organizations must boast rather in our strengths; our programs, our giving, our service to our communities; it is church-growth 101.
But what if our leaders boasted in their weakness?
Well, then I guess Christ’s strength would rest on them.
Maybe it would show that we are a broken and needy people and that Christ is our Savior in all ways.
It could possibly show that we depend on the One Who created us in His image.
And maybe, in so doing, our LORD would take care of the rest.
Humility
I have written often about humility (here, here, and here). Humility is a key ingredient to good leadership and noticeably lacking in toxic leadership. Humility is necessary if we are to “boast in our weakness.”
In my years of research, interviews, and experience, it is humility that is the game-changer every time. I hear sufferers of toxic leadership use the term or synonyms all the time. It is the difference between a good leader and a bad leader. It is the difference between a toxic leader and a godly leader.
Quite frankly, it is the difference between a pleasant person and a rotten person.
Christopher Hutchinson wrote,
“I believe humility to be at the very heart of Christian faith and even to be the best paradigm of all proper thought regarding God, oneself, and others.”1
Amy Edmondson argues that humility is not something that comes easily for those who are in high positions.2 When looking down on subordinates, receiving their praise and accolades, even the humblest can begin to believe his own press. Christian leadership requires an attitude and action of a servant on behalf of those who are subordinate. Leaders must go beyond their own comfort and needs, setting aside the world’s motivations of ego, money, and pride, as Maxwell notes.3
But “lording it over” others, as Jesus says, is a basic temptation for Christian leaders (Matt. 20:25) as it is for anyone else. Edmondson says, “It can be hard for people to muster both the humility and the genuine curiosity that is needed to really learn from others.”4 It is humility that makes it possible for us to learn, and this is foundational to the work of a team whether on the sports field, in the rehearsal hall, secular corporation, or Christian ministry.
So, what if a leader boasted in his or her weaknesses? What if they gathered up the humility to proclaim their weakness and their need for Jesus Christ? Rather than continually defending themselves and blaming others, our leaders admitted failure and sought forgiveness and reconciliation?
Maybe, “Christ’s strength would rest on” them.
References
Christopher Hutchinson, Rediscovering Humility: Why the Way Up Is Down (Kindle: New Growth Press, 2018), loc. 280. ↩︎
Amy C. Edmondson, Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy, 1st edition (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2012), 62. ↩︎
John C. Maxwell, “Reflections on Challenge the Process,” pp. 71–84 in Christian Reflections on The Leadership Challenge, edited by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, 1st edition (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2006), 72. ↩︎
Amy C. Edmondson, Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy, 1st edition (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2012), 62. ↩︎
As I read 1st Peter I was struck by how helpful his words should be to those who are abusive or have tendencies to be controlling, manipulative, and entitled. Those who struggle with these attitudes and behaviors need to take Peter’s words to heart.
Though there is much detailed work to be done in the text, I want to primarily get to the big picture of Peter’s first chapter, moving into the second.
Paul and Peter are both great at giving us in their writing, by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the big, beautiful picture first and then moving into the detail of living for Jesus next. They like to provide the “indicatives” first and “imperatives” next, while returning to the indicatives to re-emphasize our place in God’s world and all He has done for us.
They want us to know who we are first and then what we are to do with that knowledge next.
Imperishable
In verse three Peter begins with a beautiful doxology to God’s kindness to his people—those of us who have trusted in his kindness. He has done the work of saving us. He has given us new birth by the raising of Jesus from the dead.
That will never, ever go away. It is unfading . . . it is “imperishable,” he says.
Peter says, even as we go through difficult times—these Christians were going to or were facing great persecutions according to commentators—we can rejoice knowing Jesus wins!
Time for Action
As we come to 1:13, Peter begins to lay before us the call to action that results from this Good News.
It is time to take action. And ultimately this action takes place in the very depths of our soul. It is not simply outward behavior but a complete change of our inward man—mind and heart.
Here Peter quotes, as others in scripture quote, from Leviticus 11:44: “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
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Some would take this to be “acting good.” And in fact, this is where the abuser livesand breathes. He puts on an act for his church friends and leadership that he is righteous. But deep down, and for those who are under his authority, he breathes fire and hatred and control.
Peter doesn’t allow for this. Though he begins this passage with what sounds like outward appearances, he doesn’t stay there. He moves forward, digging down deep within our hearts.
22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart . . .
Notice the terms Peter uses: sincere, love, pure heart. Every one of those terms involves the inner man, not simply outward behavior. He has talked about “conducting” ourselves which is decidedly behavioral.
But he doesn’t stop there.
Not An Act
In Greek, sincere means “unfeigned.” It is not an act but what we really desire. We are not handing a cup of water out while thinking to ourselves, “I can’t stand this guy.”
Abusive leaders are almost always acting a part. They desire to look good to the watching world. This is why reporting (whisteblowing) is nearly always difficult and often unproductive. Those who hear the report rarely believe it. What they have seen and heard is that the pastor, manager, CEO, or coordinator is wonderful and has a heart of gold. He is skilled at his job. He radiates goodness.
This is what makes Jesus’ use of the term “white-washed tombs” so apropos. The tomb looks good on the outside with newly painted walls, but inside it is rotting fresh. So too, the toxic leader.
Put Away All Evil
All of this is driving to chapter 2 where Peter says,
So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.
1 Peter 2:1
Put away all the evil. If you abuse your authority—authority given by God to be used for his glory and other’s good—it is time to repent. Let’s look at these words Peter uses.
Malice: “Ill-will, desire to injure.” Maybe from jealousy (see below) or competitivesness you are seeking the downfall of someone subordinate or senior. You desire their demise.
Deceit: You are faking it. You don’t really care about those under your care or ministry even though you say you do. You just want to be in control and the top dog. In order to hold your place of prominence or to get ahead you lie and act.
Hypocrisy: “The acting of a stage player.” Closely related to deceit, you are acting one way while your heart is in another place. You maybe even use some outward humility if it gets you some attention for which you deeply long. But inside it is just an act.
Envy: You are not so much concerned about God’s glory but rather your own. When others get some attention, you seek to diminish it rather than encourage it. The narcissist runs on this.
Slander: This is your means of getting all that glory. “The act of damaging the good character of someone.” You tear them down; put them in their place. You explain, “She just isn’t that committed to the organization.” That way you look better and she must be lying about your toxicity.
If these describe your leadership “style,” it’s time to confess that you are a white-washed tomb.
It is time to do the difficult work of self-awareness; to ask the lord to show you how you have taken his good gifts and used them to destroy and hurt others rather than build up (Ephesians 4:11-13).
Unfortunately, the vast majority of toxic leaders will not listen to Peter, Paul, Jesus, or anyone but themselves. But, if any of this rings true to you of your heart, you are on the road to “recovery” having the humility it takes to repent.
Jesus seeks such ones as these to mold into the leaders He desires in His kingdom.
Unfortunately, strength = toxic too much of the time.
The warnings are clear in Scripture for those who rise to positions of leadership. There is a story in 2nd Chronicles that should strike fear into all leader’s hearts–or at least a healthy concern. A sixteen-year old was placed in leadership in Judah. His father, Amaziah had died and it was his turn to rule the nation.
And a long reign he had: fifty-two years.
Uzziah “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” as he began his reign. He sought God, was teachable (by the prophet Zechariah), and God made him prosper as he followed the Lord.
Scripture says,
God helped him against the Philistines and against the Arabians who lived in Gurbaal and against the Meunites. 8 The Ammonites paid tribute to Uzziah, and his fame spread even to the border of Egypt, for he became very strong.
2 Chronicles 26:7-8 (ESV)
His military might was a result of God’s delight in him. Uzziah was faithful to the Lord. There is so much encouragement here that such a young man should rule with wisdom and faith.
But.
Pride
But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 26:16 (ESV)
The Lord had set up a separation of powers (duties) in the theocracy of the Old Testament. The national political rulers (kings) were not allowed to interfer with the sacrificial system of the temple. Though there were often battles between the kings and priests, where the kings had responsibility to rule the nation, the priesthood made it evident that God ruled over the kings.
Uzziah’s unfaithfulness would be a footnote in his story if what happened next had been different.
17 But Azariah the priest went in after him, with eighty priests of the LORD who were men of valor, 18 and they withstood King Uzziah and said to him, “It is not for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the LORD, but for the priests, the sons of Aaron, who are consecrated to burn incense. Go out of the sanctuary, for you have done wrong, and it will bring you no honor from the LORD God.”
2 Chronicles 26:17-18 (ESV)
The priest, Azariah stood up to the king. Like Nathan in King David’s case (2 Samuel 12). Like all faithful friends and advisors to those in power over the centuries. Azariah was willing to do the messy work of challenging the wicked behavior of the most powerful person in the nation of Judah.
Anger
This is an important point of the story, and what comes next is the frustrating part.
19 Then Uzziah was angry. Now he had a censer in his hand to burn incense, and when he became angry with the priests, leprosy broke out on his forehead in the presence of the priests in the house of the LORD, by the altar of incense.
2 Chronicles 26:19 (ESV)
Unfortunately, a reign that was godly and a witness to the Lord of heaven and earth ended in arrogance and entitlement. “He became proud.” Rather than admitting his foolish and arrogant behavior to the Lord (and Azariah), his sin was not a footnote but the fall of his rule in Judah.
In his pride, Uzziah was likely thinking that he could do what he wanted. He was powerful and was likely continually being coddled by his subordinates; told he was the greatest, winning all his battles, a real rock star.
No priest could tell him what to do.
But God did not allow him to continue in his arrogance. The Lord physically struck him, causing him to break out in leprosy.
And King Uzziah was a leper to the day of his death, and being a leper lived in a separate house, for he was excluded from the house of the LORD.
2 Chronicles 26:21
With dishonor and shame he went to the grave; turned out of his primary residence; disallowed entrance to the presence of God (“excluded from the house of the Lord”). Uzziah’s life was turned upside down.
Accountability
It is an important story for leaders. Each of us, in our places of influence, must understand the warnings that the Lord provides through the many stories in Scripture. We need the accountability of others. We need others who will, even if subordinate to us, be able to bring us grace through criticism.
We need to humble ourselves before the gracious and mighty hand of the Lord . . . before it is too late.
It is not unusual for those who have faced off with toxic leadership in the church to turn from the church. In my experience, most do not turn from Christ but have a difficult time squaring the leadership of God’s people with abusive authority.
So, they refuse to darken the doorway of a church building at least for a time.
Ezekiel spoke God’s damning judgment upon Judah as they were taken into exile in 587 B.C. After chiding the toxic Jewish leaders for eating the sheep instead of shepherding them, God said,
So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; 6 they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.
Ezekiel 34:5-6 (ESV)
It is what is to be expected. When leaders fail, the hurt runs deep. You can expect people to leave, maybe never to return.
Don’t blame them.
But for those who wish to find a church that will carefully and lovingly shepherd them in places of peace (shalom), here are some ways to determine if the leadership is toxic or not:
Plurality of Leaders: Is there a board? Elders? The plurality of leadership is a first step. There can be more accountability if the church has multiple leaders that can challenge one another.
Center of Everything: What kind of praise do people give the pastor? Does he seem to be the center of everything? Does the leadership encourage (or fail to discourage) hero worship?
Pastoral Arrogance: Does the pastor often tell stories that, even in a self-deprecating way, make him the hero of the story?
“And so I went up to him and told him he was wrong . . . and he turned from his sin.”
Empowering: Does the leadership – all of them – empower the congregation as Ephesians 4 tells them to:
“And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ…” (Ephesians 4:11-12) Or do they keep a particularly strong hand on all ministry?
Emphasis on Submission: Look at the titles of sermons posted online. Are there frequent sermons on authority? Is the focus on washing feet or protecting and ruling? Protecting and ruling are not wrong, but a particular emphasis on telling the congregation to submit is telling.
Focus on Image & Competition: Is the ministry of this particular church “so much better than other churches?” Do people talk a lot about how much better their church is than other churches in the area? This can be just how people feel, but it can also be what they are hearing from leadership. Daamgaurd helpfully says, “Although it is natural to want to associate with like-minded individuals, a healthy church welcomes communication from those outside of the church, even if church pastors and members don’t fully agree with the outsiders’ views. Those within the church realize that they can learn much and benefit from these interactions.”
Turnover in Leadership: Is there a significant turnover of leadership? Elders? Deacons? Sunday School teachers? Especially office staff?
Turnover in Membership: Is there a large turnover of people in the pews?
Focus on A Family: Is there one or two or even three families that seem to be the center of all ministry that takes place? They need not even be formal leaders, but the church may be driven by them.
Legalists & Pharisees: Does there appear to be many cultural expectations of members that find little support in Scripture? Dress. Ways of praying. Don’t dance, drink, or go with girls who do?
None of this is guaranteed for determining toxic leadership. There are so many variables and toxic leadership is found in all types of churches with a variety of doctrinal views.
It can be one powerful individual – pastor or member – that causes chaos for the congregation. Or it can be an entire system that continually hires or trains up toxic leaders or brings good leaders down because of their own blindness.
The church is Christ’s bride, but she is deeply broken. I pray that you find a church that loves you as Christ loves you that you may rest in His shalom.
“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. 20 I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.”
Hosea 2:19-20 (ESV)
NOTES:
Damgaard, Neil. Wounded Faith: Understanding and Healing From Spiritual Abuse (p. 16). Kindle Edition.
