Monthly Archives: March 2021

Headship: Demand it of Yourself

Posted on by
Reply

In the experience of abusive leadership in the home, church, workplace, and government, it is common to hear demands of submission as if the leader has absolute and ultimate authority.

Biblically, it is not true. Don’t be fooled by the blustering.

In his epistle to the Ephesians Paul spoke to husbands and wives, explaining their roles [Ephesians 5:22-33]. In a recent discussion with a friend it was pointed out that the church is keen on preaching “taking headship” in the family, often using this passage.

The curious thing about this passage is that in verse 23, where the word “head” is used for the husband’s role, it is in the indicative. The sentence is a statement of fact. It IS what the husband is in the family.

However, all the statements following, regarding the acting upon this position of the husband, instruct him to love and die like Christ.

Those are imperatives. Those are the commands he must follow. He does not take headship. He is called to live it in love and die like Christ.

But those who are control and power hungry, grab the indicatives in scripture and turn them into battle cries in the home and workplace. “I am the head and you must be loyal and submit.” And all disagreement is understood to be rebellion.

They never look at the responsibilities of leadership. Only at the benefits of good leadership.

  • Abusive leaders don’t look to their own leader, Jesus Christ.

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant…”

Philippians 2:5-7 (ESV)

This is what leadership looks like. It is strange that throughout the New Testament you do not read of Jesus demanding submission from His followers. You see Jesus washing their feet like a common household servant would and saying, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” [John 13:12-15 (ESV)]

Jesus didn’t demand, He served. And His disciples did then indeed submit to him…in their broken and forgiven ways. 

But the one who abuses his authority in the home or workplace fails to look to his own leader, Jesus Christ. 

  • Abusive leaders don’t look at their own imperatives.

What is the responsibility of governing authorities? The Apostle Peter says,

“Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.”

1 Peter 2:13-14 (ESV)

Most people look to the beginning of that sentence only and do not consider how it ends. But, notice that governing authorities are called to “punish those who do evil and praise those who do good.” That means they are to rule fairly and execute real justice. There are demands on the leaders. 

What are the imperatives for husbands in the home?

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.”

Ephesians 5:25-28 (ESV)

Doesn’t sound much like crushing emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse does it?

Who wouldn’t submit to this kind of genuinely humble and serving leader?

Remember the ultimate leader, Jesus. He went to the cross to serve His people. Is the husband, boss, or government leader willing to go to great discomfort to serve the good of his wife, subordinate, or citizen? Even die or lose their position to serve their constituant’s needs?

Or, is he just interested in power and authority…and the follower’s submission?

Leaders in the home, workplace, and government; submit yourself to your own leader, Jesus! Then follow what He calls you to in your position of authority. He has not called on you to demand servanthood from others.

Only demand it of yourself.

Though They Rage…God is Our Refuge

Posted on by
Reply

Recently, I have been meditating upon and journaling in the Psalms. In particular, I have focused on two Psalms: numbers 44 and 46. Both were written by the Sons of Korah, likely descendents of the Korah of Numbers 16.

The fact that these descendents wrote hymns of praise for the Jews and Christians is a testament to God’s redemptive work. It is their “father” (generations before) that rose up against Moses and Aaron, and likewise against Yahweh, and was judged for his rebellion. Yet, these children of Korah have provided a valuable part of our worship of the Lord through their penning of several Psalms.

Placing these two Psalms in juxtaposition have been helpful to my own meditation in God’s word as I consider abusive leadership in the home and workplace. Psalm 44 is clasified is a cry for mercy and Psalm 46 a Psalm of praise. It is almost as if the Sons of Korah wrote Psalm 44 in depression and, when God brought them out, followed up in the writing of Psalm 46.

I have seen many sufferers of toxic leadership sink into depression and rise from those ashes as they came out of the bondage of that abuse.

Psalm 44 begins with reminders of God’s faithful care of His people. He had driven out the nations. He had ordained salvation for His people. He had put to shame those who hated His people.

But, alas, the psalmists explain, the Lord has now seemingly rejected them.

But you have rejected us and disgraced us
and have not gone out with our armies.
10 You have made us turn back from the foe,
and those who hate us have gotten spoil.
11 You have made us like sheep for slaughter
and have scattered us among the nations.
12 You have sold your people for a trifle,
demanding no high price for them.
13 You have made us the taunt of our neighbors,
the derision and scorn of those around us.

Psalm 44:9-13 (ESV)

Yahweh hasn’t been with them. God’s children have not won the war. They are like a meak and weak lamb that is taken away and slaughtered. They have been exiled to lands not their own. The people are sold for a pittance…they are seemingly worth nothing to the Lord. They are ridiculed and scorned by arrogant abusers that surround them.

Don’t you feel like that sometimes? Why, oh Lord, are you not acting on my behalf? If you love me so tenderly, then why am I in such straits? Why did you lead me into a mission work where I am abused by my leadership? Why did you give me such a horrendous marriage?

The hurt and sorrow can be so overwhelming that we want to “curse God and die” as Job’s wife counseled him to do in the midst of his great agony.

Job 2:9

There is no resolution to this lament in Psalm 44. It ends with a cry for mercy from the Lord. Save us, oh Lord! Redeem us – buy us back from our suffering.

Songs like Psalm 44 are sweet parts of our Bible. They are truthful, down-to-earth, emotional expressions of God’s children. We can sing them and be right there with the authors. We can commune with our fellow travelers on our spiritual journeys in a broken world full of sinful, arrogant, and hurtful people.

Psalm 46 is the answer. It is the glory from the ashes. It is the emotional healing of the Psalmist.

There the Sons of Korah proclaim,

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

Psalms 46:1-3 (ESV)

Though all this suffering has been my lot, God is my refuge. He is my help. Though trouble is all around me. Though my enemies, in the form of bosses, managers, husbands, or even former friends, circle around, creating havoc in my life and deep, lasting pain, “The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

It is interesting that those who have chosen to work specifically in the area of abuse healing (having been targets of abuse) often step into more of these traumatic experiences as they do battle with those who do not understand the dynamics or Biblical response to abuse. A skin thickened by developing Biblical barriers to these attacks is imperative.

Wading into the depths of these Psalms can be both the healing balm and helpful aid to building boundaries that protect our integrity from those who war against a Biblical understanding of abuse.

God is our refuge! We need not fear even if everything goes to pot. Though our lives crumble around us as the waves crash against our weak human defenses, the Lord is our very present help when in those troubled times. He is very present, not just on duty now and then. He is continually giving refuge to the oppressed and strength to the wounded.