Monthly Archives: August 2024

The Slide Into Toxic Leadership 1: The Story of Jeroboam, King of Israel

Posted on by
Reply
https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/HsgR5KDPpMb

There were two leaders responsible for the split of Israel and Judah in the Old Testament recounted for us in 1st Kings and 2nd Chronicles. Both leaders are good examples of bad leadership.

I have said it before: I have hopes when I write these blogs that those who are on the edge of leading abusively—or are maybe even over the edge—will read and hear words that the LORD uses to turn their hearts. Even when I am writing directly to the victims of toxic leadership, I hope leaders will develop some empathy and seek to reform their own ways.

Jeroboam and Rehoboam led the nation of Israel into two camps—and geographic localities. Ten of the twelve tribes followed Jeroboam and made up Israel in the north (Samaria) while two tribes followed Rehoboam and were in the south including Jerusalem, the city of David.

Jeroboam, the Providential Hero

The kingdom of Israel was Rehoboam’s birthright as he was Solomon’s son and rightful heir. However, Solomon’s sin and foolish leadership at the end of his reign brought a partial judgment of God on the nation resulting in the LORD putting Jeroboam in leadership of the northern tribes—he was not in the promised line of David.

In ways, Jeroboam is a bit of a hero to begin with. When Solomon was having work done in Jerusalem, Scripture says, “The man Jeroboam was very able, and when Solomon saw that the young man was industrious he gave him charge over all the forced labor of the house of Joseph (1 Kings 11:28).”

It is a positive introduction to this future leader of (some of) God’s people.

Jeroboam was taken aside by a prophet (Ahijah the Shilonite) and told,

And I will take you, and you shall reign over all that your soul desires, and you shall be king over Israel. And if you will listen to all that I command you, and will walk in my ways, and do what is right in my eyes by keeping my statutes and my commandments, as David my servant did, I will be with you and will build you a sure house, as I built for David, and I will give Israel to you.

1 Kings 11:37-38 (ESV)

A wonderful promise to Jeroboam: “Follow me and I will be with you.”

On the other hand, Rehoboam does not start well in the south. Scripture tells us he answered “harshly” the request of the people that he not lead like his father did (1 Kings 12:16-24). Thus, the split in Israel and Jeroboam’s opportunity to lead a good portion of the nation in the way of the good kings.

Jeroboam, the Toxic Leader

But Jeroboam instead took the path of toxic leadership: self-protectionism.

As he began to establish his reign, he built an important city in the hill country named Shechem and then the city Penuel in addition. Shechem was the location where Abram built an altar to God because He appeared to him (Genesis 12:7). It was a place of promise and worship.

However, in the intervening years, the LORD had established Jerusalem as his place of rule and His temple was also there. The LORD put it there for His worship and sacrifices—sacrifices were not allowed by God anywhere but in the Jerusalem Temple.

Unfortunately, Jeroboam became fearful that the ten tribes he was leading would go on their annual pilgrimage to sacrifice in the Jerusalem Temple never to return. Maybe Jerusalem would just be too enticing for them.

He even feared his life, thinking, “People will turn again to their lord, to Rehoboam king of Judah, and they will kill me and return to Rehoboam king of Judah (1 Kings 12:27).”

Like the Berlin wall, Jeroboam set up a spiritual / psychological wall of demarcation by providing alternative places of worship and sacrifice in Shechem to keep the Israelites captivated with Samaria.

So Jeroboam became a toxic leader.

Seeing the Toxicity

He mimicked Temple worship with the addition of providing golden calves—idols—to the mix and telling the people, “Behold your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. (1 Kings 12:28)” He provided similar festivals to those God had given the people, giving the Samaritans new traditions tied to the old.

We then see Jeroboam’s slide into toxic leadership in is his response to criticism for his idolatry and rebellion against the LORD. As he made sacrifices—something he was not allowed to do as king—a prophet from Judah in the south challenged him. Jeroboam became angry and commanded that the guards take the prophet.

However, the LORD struck Jeroboam with leprosy and he cried out to be healed by the prophet which the LORD graciously did.

What Are Those Toxic Traits?

Toxic leadership almost always involves a heightened sense of anxiety at the loss of leadership and the adoration of others resulting in defensiveness and blame-shifting when confronted.

Often a leader will respond to criticism seemingly well to begin with, but over time—sometimes only hours—he will begin to create justifications and point to others to take the blame.

A good way to determine if your leader is toxic is to give him the “Response Test.” Kindly, graciously, and humbly challenge your leader. How does he or she respond? Keep in mind that many people will respond immediately with justifications or defensiveness. However, if they are toxic, they will keep it up and possibly even retaliate against you, isolate you from others in the organization, or simply ignore you.

If they are not toxic, they will come around. They may not agree with you, but they will consider your claim and express some form of appreciation for it.

Toxic Followers

Unfortunately, when the leader shifts the blame in response, instead of allowing the blame to remain on the leader, some followers—in the interest of pleasing their powerful leader—will take the blame themselves or soften the effects of the foolish behavior of the leader.

Middle-management is notorious for this complicity.

They may feel—rightly—that keeping their jobs or status within the organization requires providing a buffer between the subordinates and the toxic boss. It can almost be a badge of honor for them to seek to mediate between their boss and their employees. It feels “above the fray,” “mature,” and even may give a sense of power to middle managers.

But in the end, it always collapses. There really is no softening or mediating toxic leadership.

So, Jeroboam’s rule collapsed. In 2 Chronicles 13:20 it says:

Jeroboam did not recover his power in the days of Abijah. And the LORD struck him down, and he died.

It ended with his battle against Judah. Whereas, Judah sought the LORD, Jeroboam had slid into toxic leadership, worshipping those who were not God.

When a Leader Turns Toxic: Asa King of Judah

Posted on by
1
https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/tXr0ZSG7dMb

I never tire of nor do I ever run short of biblical material for the study of abusive leadership.

I say that because of the number of people out there who don’t think of abuse as of any importance. They don’t believe that the Bible speaks to abuse. They think that all sin is basically the same and should be handled much the same way.

I recognize that most people reading my blog are those who do actually see it in scripture and want to understand it better from a biblical view. But I still have hopes that there are those out there who will come across some of these writings and come to realize that they have shorted God’s Word by failing to see abuse deliniated in its pages.

And in response, become caring and empathetic in their approach to survivers of abusive leadership.

Asa, King of Judah

I often turn to the kings of Judah and Israel for my material. The history of the kings is found in the two books of Kings and two books of Chronicles in the Bible. These summary stories of the kings does not hold back on the good and bad of these kings.

There was a king who ruled in Judah around the ninth century B.C. whose name was Asa. His story is told in 2 Chronicles chapters 14 through 16. His particular story is a good warning for leaders. If you are a leader in any capacity, please consider Asa. As a friend of mine likes to say, “Everyone is good for something . . . even if it is as a bad example.”

There are those leaders who are simply bad. They are toxic to their core and they reap destruction in the workplace.

But, there are leaders who begin well and end badly. We can take a birdseye view of the span of their ministry and sorrowfully recount their failings.

It is said of Asa,

And Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the LORD his God. 3 He took away the foreign altars and the high places and broke down the pillars and cut down the Asherim 4 and commanded Judah to seek the LORD, the God of their fathers, and to keep the law and the commandment.

2 Chronicles 14:2-4 (ESV)

It was a good start to his reign in Judah. There is so much promise in those two verses. Scripture notes in the next verse that “the kingdom had rest under him.” There was peace, clearly as a result of his good leadership.

Then War

As an example of Asa’s good and godly leadership, the story is told of when an Ethiopian ruler attacked Judah. Asa led his army out against Zerah the Ethiopian and the writer of Chronicles recounts Asa’s prayer:

“O LORD, there is none like you to help, between the mighty and the weak. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this multitude. O LORD, you are our God; let not man prevail against you.”

2 Chronicles 14:11

It is a beautiful prayer. It is an expression of Asa’s dependence on the LORD and recognition that his life is in service to God and not his own comforts or power.

Scripture tells us that as a result, the LORD “defeated the Ethiopians before Asa and before Judah, and the Ethiopians fled.”

Spiritual Leadership

The passage goes on to deliniate Asa’s spiritual leadership in Judah. Following his victory on the battlefield, a prophet approaches Asa and tells him, “The LORD is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”

Leaders, this is your call. As the LORD called Asa to seek Him always, so the LORD calls you to seek Him always. And the promise is sure that if you seek the LORD, He will be evident to you (“found by you”).

Again, there are encouraging words of Asa. He immediately made more spiritual reforms in Judah to show all the people they needed to rely on the LORD not on idols.

Relying on Other

But well into Asa’s reign—33 years—he turned to someone other than the LORD to protect him against an invading army. After all that has been said about it, it is a jarring change of storyline.

Scripture says,

At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, “Because you relied on the king of Syria, and did not rely on the LORD your God, the army of the king of Syria has escaped you. 8 Were not the Ethiopians and the Libyans a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet because you relied on the LORD, he gave them into your hand. 9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars.”

2 Chronicles 16:7-9

It was a crushing blow to Asa. In one sentence the fall of Asa is described: “Then Asa was angry with the seer and put him in the stocks in prison, for he was in a rage with him because of this. And Asa inflicted cruelties upon some of the people at the same time.”

Asa is angry (indignent in Hebrew) and raging (storming in Hebrew). His actions towards the seer, who is bringing an opportunity to repent and seek forgiveness in humility, is rather rebellion and anger. Asa belies a toxic heart.

And that toxic heart would give way to physical decline. Three years later he got a disease in his feet and died.

It is such a disappointing end to his reign. A man who clearly loved the LORD and sought him ended his leadership in disgrace and the oppression of others over whom he had power.

Have you seen this in your own leader? Have you seen it in yourself?

You may be becoming enthralled with your image. You may be leading some people who have strong opinions—and share them readily—and feel intimidated by them. You may feel you must show how much smarter and stronger you are and you may be using sarcasm and put downs to show them.

Turn to the LORD instead.

Remember, “If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”

Self-Differentiation and the Use of Gifts

Posted on by
Reply

I have written quite a lot about “self-differentiation” ever since my doctoral study [see here]. At that time, my research advisor was pressing me to focus on this psychological concept—also biblical—in my dissertation about toxic leadership.

The term basically means to remain free from the psychological control of other people. Christian writers like Herrington, Creech, and Taylor have taken the idea and brought Scripture to bear on it.1 They point to Jesus as the ultimate self-differentiated individual as he engaged with others in a deep, empathetic way while not being controlled by them.

Jesus is an example to us.

There is another man in Scripture who, though deeply broken, was a “type of Christ” in the Old Testament—Jesus’ forefather King David.

The story of David, a rapist (2 Sam. 11:4) and murderer (2 Sam. 11:15), gives hope to every man, woman, and child that in our wickedness we can be redeemed. In 1 Samuel 17 the story of David and Goliath is told. It provides for us a picture of self-differentiation.

David Shows Up

David, the youngest of his brothers, would go back and forth to the battle lines where his older brothers were engaged in a war with the Philistines. He would bring food and supplies from his family to them.

One day David showed up and heard the giant of a man, Goliath, taunting the Israelite army. As David spoke with various soldiers about it, his oldest brother said,

“Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.”

1 Samuel 17:28

I don’t know what was in David’s heart but his response is certainly self-differentiated:

“What have I done now? Was it not but a word?” And he turned away from him toward another, and spoke in the same way, and the people answered him again as before.

1 Samuel 17:29-30

It is a bit defensive— “What have I done now?” — but he does not allow Eliab (brother) to deter him from gaining more information about Goliath.

What I want to get at is that victims of toxic leadership normally shut down. As they are critisized by their boss, ridiculed by a manager, or demoted because they don’t practice image-control as their bosses require of them, they turn inward, keep their head down, and sort of do their jobs.

Who wants to be criticized? Who wants to face ostracization?

We want to keep our jobs. We want to please our bosses and supervisors.

All normal and all understandable.

But not always self-differentiated.

David’s Self-Differentiation

Rather than sulk away as I did many times under a toxic boss, David went to the big boss—King Saul—when Saul called for him. David told Saul, “Let no man’s heart fail because of [Goliath]. Your servant will go and fight with this Philistine.”

So, David goes out to meet the giant and there meets further scorn:

“Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. The Philistine said to David, “Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field.”

1 Samuel 17:43-44

I love David’s response. It could sound arrogant, except that it is a testimony to dependence on the LORD. And dependence on the LORD is fundamental to Christian self-differentiation.

Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, 47 and that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give you into our hand.”

1 Samuel 17:45-47 (ESV)

Sunday School materials are full of applications culled from this passage that tell children to stand up to their greatest fears. Sometimes those applications are ridiculed, but that interpretation is not far off.

What can be missing is that it wasn’t in David mustering the strength from deep within, but in his dependence and belief that God had his back and he was doing the right thing in response to God’s calling.

So to trust God alone is self-differentiation for the Christian.

Jesus’ Self-Differentiation

I believe the most apropos passage for defining self-differentiation is when, after Jesus did many signs and wonders, many “believed” in him. John says,

But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people 25 and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.

John 2:24-25 (ESV)

Jesus knew what was in man. So too, David knew not to trust in man’s confident assertions (Goliath’s or his brothers’) but in God Himself.

Self-differentiation is just this: Not allowing the anxiety of others to control our own trust in Jesus. It frees us to stand up to toxic leaders where others cower. It frees us to leave the toxic workplace when others fear leaving. It allows us to reject the arrows of our antagonists whether they are a boss, fellow employee, or church leader.

Give your trust to Jesus, not to any other man.

NOTES

  1. Herrington, Jim. The Leader’s Journey: Accepting the Call to Personal and Congregational Transformation. 1st ed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003. ↩︎

The Responsibility of Leaders: Stopping Oppressive Workplaces

Posted on by
Reply

King Solomon, maybe the wisest king of all time, had extraordinary gifts from the LORD.

1 Kings 10:23 tells us that “King Solomon excelled all the kings of the earth in riches and in wisdom.” As time goes along, “the whole earth sought the presence of Solomon to hear his wisdom, which God had put into his mind.”

How did that begin? And why did it end?

Earlier in the book of 1st Kings, the LORD appeard to Solomon in a dream and asked him, “What shall I give you (1 Kings 3:5)?”

Solomon answers in a beautiful expression of humility: he needs wisdom more than anything—to discern between good and evil. He has just become the leader of God’s people, who are numerous, and as a young man he needs God’s wisdom to rule well.

The LORD answers his request and more. He says He will give him both wisdom and, because he didn’t ask for it, riches and honor.

And thus, Solomon begins his reign with wisdom and starts to build a wealthy and powerful dynasty. The LORD tells Solomon that he will be wiser than all who came before and all who come after if he will “walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments (1 Kings 3:14).”

Blessings and Honor

Seems simple enough. Solomon, like all men, is not a paragon of virtue, but he humbly recognizes his inabilities and depends upon the LORD’s forgiveness and help.

He became wealthy and other leaders looked to him for wisdom including the Queen of Sheba. You get the sense he is the most powerful man in his part of the world. He received honor and glory from all the nations surrounding Israel.

Every one of them brought his present, articles of silver and gold, garments, myrrh, spices, horses, and mules, so much year by year. 26 And Solomon gathered together chariots and horsemen. He had 1,400 chariots and 12,000 horsemen, whom he stationed in the chariot cities and with the king in Jerusalem. 27 And the king made silver as common in Jerusalem as stone, and he made cedar as plentiful as the sycamore of the Shephelah. 28 And Solomon’s import of horses was from Egypt and Kue, and the king’s traders received them from Kue at a price. 29 A chariot could be imported from Egypt for 600 shekels of silver and a horse for 150, and so through the king’s traders they were exported to all the kings of the Hittites and the kings of Syria.

1 Kings 10:25-29 (ESV)

What is the Purpose?

So, in receiving all this blessing from the LORD, what do you think Solomon considered his purpose to be?

Scripture has memorialized his thinking in the form of his poetry. The Psalms are songs for the use in worship. David, his father, who was a great musician wrote nearly half of the 150 Psalms contained in the Bible. But Solomon is also a contributor to the book of worship music.

Psalms 72 gives us insight to how Solomon understood his purpose as a leader:

Give the king your justice, O God,
and your righteousness to the royal son!
2 May he judge your people with righteousness,
and your poor with justice!
3 Let the mountains bear prosperity for the people,
and the hills, in righteousness!
4 May he defend the cause of the poor of the people,
give deliverance to the children of the needy,
and crush the oppressor!

Psalms 72:1-4 (ESV)

What impression do you get as you read his song of praise?

His work as a leader should be like the work of any leader: to provide justice and prosperity for the people. And that includes stopping those who crush others—oppressors.

He goes on to develop the idea in the song:

12 For he delivers the needy when he calls,
the poor and him who has no helper.
13 He has pity on the weak and the needy,
and saves the lives of the needy.
14 From oppression and violence he redeems their life,
and precious is their blood in his sight.

Psalms 72:12-14

There is a distinct focus on caring for those who are struggling to care for themselves—the poor and needy.

What we see in so many leaders is quite the opposite. Their arrogance, narcissism, raging, and image control cause the “oppression and violence” that Solomon decries in his Psalm. Those behaviors and attitudes are opposite of what a good leader is to do and be.

Solomon sounds like the kind of leader I want.

However, it does not end well for Solomon.

The Fall

The LORD does not withdraw His blessing; Solomon scuttles it.

For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.

1 Kings 11:4 (ESV)

It is hard to believe that once, having tasted such incredible goodness from the LORD, a leader would turn his back on Him. But, in Solomon’s case, he chose to break God’s law in regards to marriage and took on his wives’ idols for his dependance and worship.

His idolatry was expressed in the worship of mythological gods common to his wives and the nations from where they came. It is more likely that a leader in our culture will turn to the gods of wealth, power, fame, and image control rather than a golden artifact. But these are idols nonetheless—things that are trusted in other than the LORD.

Solomon’s legacy ends up being the breakup of the nation into two parts—northern and southern—and continual hostilities between God’s people.

That breakup was brought about by his son who thought the counsel of his buddies to oppress the people was better than the counsel of justice given by older and wiser men. The young men suggested he take control of the people and say to them:

“‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s thighs. And now, whereas my father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.’”

1 Kings 12:10-11 (ESV)

It is evident that Solomon had become a slave-driver—doing quite the opposite of what his Psalm 72 says a king should do. Rehoboam also chose to counter his father Solomon’s psalm.

This was Solomon’s legacy because he rejected the LORD’s good and peace-giving guidance on leadership. He created an environment of injustice, power, and authoritarianism that his son learned at his knee. He allowed all those gifts of wisdom and wealth given by the LORD to create a monster.

For those of us in the West, we have the opportunity to reject such leaders. We have freedoms unknown to many throughout the ages to get free from political, social, spousal, and employment leaders who are narcissistic and destructive.

He has pity on the weak and the needy,
and saves the lives of the needy.

This is our standard for leaders.