Often the focus of Bible teaching—when it comes to leadership and followership—is on the follower.
In particular, the focus is on being submissive more often than not.
I understand that. There are several Scripture passages that call on subordinates in various contexts to submit to the authority under which God has place us (Romans 13; 1 Peter 2:13f).
However, Scripture also speaks to those in authority. In fact, because of the power differential, I would suggest the greater responsibility is on the authority to use that authority in a God-glorifying and respectful way. The frequency with which the Lord speaks to those who oppress—actions that crush those who have less power—is striking (Exodus 3:9; Isaiah 58:6).
Job of an Older Man
The Apostle Paul makes an interesting statement that has some bearing on this in his letter to Timothy.
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 (ESV)
Timothy was a young man by all accounts and given the job of an older man. He was leading a new church in a time when elders—those who are older in age—were expected to be leaders, particularly wise religious leaders.
Paul found it necessary to instruct Timothy in how to handle his position as a spiritual leader to those who were younger and of older age. It is in his instruction to Timothy in what his attitude should be towards younger folks in his congregation that I am most interested in.
It is in this instruction to younger people that Paul uses, what I would consider, a unique and surprising terminology. He says, don’t rebuke them, but rather treat them as “brothers” and “sisters.”
Timothy is older (even though young). Timothy is probably more knowledgeable. He was “appointed” by an apostle for his position. He was a “big man.”
Yet, Paul says treat those younger like equals. That is what a brother or sister is. He/she is of equal stature. And this is the attitude Timothy needs to have.
We would not expect that.
And many leaders in the church wouldn’t expect that and probably would be put out by Paul’s instruction if they took the time to consider the words Paul is using. Rather, we see often those who lead in the church treat others as if they are children. I have heard that over and over from those with toxic leaders.
It is how I was treated by a mission leader; not as a colleague, but as a child.
Encourage or Rebuke?
Notice also that Timothy is called to take a clearly softer stance with those he leads and instructs. Paul says, “encourage” them rather than “rebuke” them.
To “rebuke” is defined as “to chastise with words, to chide, upbraid.”1 On the other hand, “encourage” means in Greek “to address, speak to, (call to, call upon), which may be done in the way of exhortation, entreaty, comfort, instruction, etc.”2
Timothy had the authority of an elder in the church, yet he should not use that authority to “lord it over” those under that authority, but rather “encourage” them in their walk with Christ.
One interviewee of mine in the northeast was treated as if she was of lesser intelligence by her pastor, though she had been an integral part of the church ministry for years. A friend of mine had developed an exceptional ministry to women who were in abusive marriages and she had a doctorate in theology and yet was simply ignored. Another interviewee developed much the same kind of ministry in the southwest and was ignored, treated with disrespect, and finally run out of the church.
These are not the attitudes and actions of the kind of pastor Paul was calling Timothy to be.
Despite the difference in age, in a culture that held to the authority of others older than oneself, Paul was counter-culture in suggesting Timothy treat the younger as equals—those who had less authority than himself.
Calling all leaders: This takes humility, patience, and a self-awareness. We have to dig deep into our hidden motives and attitudes and seek the Holy Spirit’s help in transforming likely arrogant and defensive and domineering attitudes.
Treat your subordinates as brothers and sisters, not as children.