Category Archives: Leadership

Leadership: Seeking the Glory of Another

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I have seen multiple cases where a church leader has been toxic in certain areas of his shepherding and has plagerized his teaching.

There seems to be a certain sinful desire in man to gain the glory. Rather than give credit where it is due, they use impressive information or ideas from the thoughts of others and present it as their own.

There are certainly mistakes made. It is not that uncommon to have read or heard something in days—or years—past that pop into mind while studying Scripture that seems like it did just that: pop into your mind. Recently, I have used a particular phrase multiple times that someone reading it asked if it came from someone else’s book. It hit me that indeed it was and it is unique enough that I need to be referencing the author’s work.

Seeking Glory for Others

Leaders of Christian organizations, churches, and businesses need to take a principle from this idea: The Lord desires us to humbly seek the glory of others.

Jesus helps us understand how important it is to do this in John 7. There the Apostle John explains:

About the middle of the feast Jesus went up into the temple and began teaching. 15 The Jews therefore marveled, saying, “How is it that this man has learning, when he has never studied?” 16 So Jesus answered them, “My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me. 17 If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. 18 The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.

John 7:14-18 (ESV)

There is a principal here that challenges our puffed-up selves. We want glory. We desire glory.

To be the first to have thought of an idea or developed a program or reached many people. It is insidious. It is like black tendrils reaching into our hearts and turning it ganegrene.

There is an incredible story of man’s arrogance and the judgment that God brought in response. King Herod, who ruled when Jesus was crucified, was speaking before the people and this is what happened:

And the people were shouting, “The voice of a god, and not of a man!” 23 Immediately an angel of the Lord struck him down, because he did not give God the glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last.

Acts 12:22-23 (ESV)

Jesus shows us a better way. Despite being God, he humbled himself and gave credit to his Father—certainly one of the many incomprehensible aspects of Trinitarian theology. It gives us a perfect example of what leaders should be doing every day. A Christian leader’s responsibility is to first give God the glory and secondly to give his team the glory.

Teaming

I have written often about “teams” in the organizational and church setting using the research of others with much greater knowledge than me. Amy Edmondson, in her book called Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy provides wonderful analysis and application of this idea.1

Edmondson notes that organizations (businesses) need to learn in order to develop and grow. They must respond to the ever-changing environments in which we live and work. Unfortunately, she writes, “Many organizations still rely on the top-down, command-and-control approaches that fueled growth and profitability in the industrial era.” (loc. 267-268)

Many churches and Christian organizations have a high regard for submission to and the rule of those in positions of authority. We give respect to elders and bosses and those older than us. This is all well and good, but I want in this writing to challenge those who live in those positions of power and authority whether primarily relational or formal.

If these leaders want to minister to their flocks whether in a business, church, or non-profit organization, they will need to take on the words of Jesus and learn from those who have studied this extensively like Edmondson.

In defining the helpfulness of teams, Edmondson explains,

Teaming blends relating to people, listening to other points of view, coordinating actions, and making shared decisions.

loc. 278-279

These are the first steps.

How many leaders do you know truly listen to other points of view . . . and receive them graciously without criticism but truly open-mindedness? Without defensiveness of their own ideas? Do you?

And then, make “shared decisions?”

We are getting closer to Jesus’ words, “The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true.”

There needs to be an intentionality in leadership to build these teams where glory is given to others not self. Edmondson points out,

Teaming, it seems, requires a new type of leadership that supports speaking up, asking questions, and sharing ideas. In short, teaming requires a leadership mindset that cultivates an environment conducive to learning. I use the term “organizing to learn” to describe this leadership mindset and its accompanying practices.

loc. 622-624

Just think: Jesus was the perfect leader. He never made a bad decision. He was omniscient—he had all knowledge.

And yet, you continually see him working with others to help them come to decisions and work things through. He does not crush them with his own ideas—though he could very easily, because his ideas are always right—much like he handles his disciples when he sends them out to learn by experience in Luke 10. He gave them the basic ground rules of engagement and then received them back with encouragement for all they learned and saw.

You can hear their excitement in becoming an integral part of Jesus’ work. He allowed them to experience glory as they went about teaching and healing.

Tapping the Gifts of Subordinates

Edmondson speaks of image-bearing in subordinates without necessarily understanding how God created his people in his image:

The difference starts with a basic mindset about human beings. Whereas industrialization essentially infantilized workers, the knowledge-based economy only works well when it restores workers on all levels to self-respecting, self-determining adulthood.

loc. 845-847

Giving glory to another means you respect their views and wish their abilities to be tapped and encouraged. But this isn’t just using them. Get what you can out of them and discard them.

That is the makings of the toxic leader.

A leader must truly respect and desire to build up the talents in his subordinates. This can open the way for those under authority to truly use their gifts. But that isn’t natural in the hierarchy of the church, organization, or business as Edmondson notes:

Research shows that hierarchy, by its very nature, dramatically reduces speaking up by those lower in the pecking order. . . As a result, in most organizations, even if leaders at the top of the hierarchy say they welcome employee feedback, and even if people have the knowledge and training to say something of importance , they still may remain silent out of fear of negative consequences.

loc. 1226-1227, 1229-1231

It takes real work and care to develop the voices of those under your leadership. Much of that care comes in how the leader responds to ideas of subordinates. Does the pastor take ideas and use them even when they conflict with his own?

Does the manager run with a subordinate’s idea though he knows it may fail . . . and then give encouragement and help in responding to the problems created by the failure? Rather than scolding and anger?

Give Away the Glory

Toxic leadership most often involves the failure to fulfill the biblical example that Paul teaches in Ephesians when he says church leaders need “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.”

So too, organizational and business leaders are called to do everything possible to build up the ministry—and glory—of their subordinates.

  1. Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy. Edmondson, Amy C. , 1 edition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012. ↩︎

Jeanie’s Story: Shepherding Abuse Survivors Takes Wisdom

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It wasn’t long after the honeymoon that Jeanie began suffering from her husband Richard’s lack of care for his family and she suffered for nearly thirteen years from sexual abuse in their bedroom.

Richard, for the full length of their nearly 20 year marriage, refused to help with either childrearing or household needs. Over the years, Jeanie said she began to only ask for help when it was something she was unable to do. Then, in time, she began asking friends and neighbors when it was too hard for her because he would rarely respond to her requests at all.

Basically, my husband’s duty around the house became little more than to go to his regular job and bring home a paycheck and if I relied on him for more than that, it was overwhelming to him and anxiety producing for me.

Jeanie

She accounted for Richard’s bedroom manner—and her response—to teaching in the church that created an unhealthy sexual relationship. She said they both believed that the husband’s “sexual satisfaction” was primary and her needs were of no real consequence.

This view is not uncommon and comes from a misinterpretation of 1 Corinthians:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

1 Corinthians 7 is often misunderstood as explaining that the wife must give the husband sexual pleasure whenever he wants it. But, that is not what it says.

If you understand it within the context of mutual love and submission that is taught throughout Scripture, choices in the bedroom—like in every area of life as a family—should be made selflessly. That includes the husband whose desires may be driven by his own selfish desires with no interest in serving his wife’s—who may or may not have the “drive” he has.

Note how Paul makes it very clear that both spouses have authority over the other’s body. It is not one-sided and the husband has just as much responsibility to respond to the wife’s desires as she to his. 

After so many years of neglect and abuse, Jeanie said, “I began to struggle heavily with guilt, anxiety, insomnia, migraines and memory loss.” She had sought over the years to “win him without a word” but her “lived experience was that was completely ineffective.”

1 Peter 3:1 is helpful in some marital situations: It specifically speaks to marriage to an unbelieving husband. But it is not helpful in cases of abuse. An abusive husband does not have the humility to see the evil of their actions—he will justify and shift the blame. A wife’s humble submission simply means he has control and can do anything he wants with her.

The marriage had been so traumatizing to her, she knew she needed to get help and possibly a divorce.

Richard had refused counseling over and over and so she had gone by herself. He was not interested in making changes for the good of the marriage.

Elder Failures

Jeanie sought out the help of friends and her pastors’ wives. Their advice was consistently that she just give Richard more sex.

Jeanie had joined a support group and described hers and Richard’s sexual encounters. “The trauma counselor and other group members immediately began telling me I had been sexually abused.” She was beginning to understand that Richard’s forcing of sex was abusive and she was not willing to allow that.

She finally reached out to the Senior Pastor, Andy. The board of elders and pastors were going to discuss their “case” and she wrote to Andy explaining,

I, a woman who has been sexually traumatized, will be discussed by a room full of men, many of whom I do not or barely know, and they will consider the most intimate and hurtful events of my life, so that they can judge whether or not I have a right to be free from that. And what if they decide I don’t? Worse, what if they decide Richard is the one with grounds? Then I am being told that my needs don’t matter and that my feelings are illegitimate. I know that is not your intention, but it is sadly what my broken heart will hear, and I will feel violated all over again.

Jeanie

One elder contacted Richard—a common approach to marital difficulties but a horrible response in cases of abuse if the victim has not given permission—and was both manipulated by Richard and caused a ramping up of Richard’s abusive behavior at home.

Jeanie encouraged the elders to get training in abuse because, though they showed some compassion and kindness to start with, their handling of her years of suffering was wholly inadequate. However, they did not see the need.

Strange Response

The elders, instead of seeking to understand abuse and respond in ways that would be helpful and shepherding instead disciplined Jeanie.

After meeting, the elders told Jeanie that she should refrain from taking Communion and step down from her position on the music worship team for six months. There was nothing written down, it was not explained, and after about five months the restrictions were raised with no explanation of what had been accomplished.

As Jeanie and I talked, it became evident that the elders’ actions amounted to “disciplining” Jeanie and yet nothing was ever done to bring accountability to Richard. At some point one elder told Jeanie that they had sought to “disciple” —meet to train and encourage—Richard, but he never completed the assignments given to him.

He was not interested in caring for his family or Jeanie . . . only getting what he could in the bedroom.

But Jeanie was told she was the sinner by the elder board’s actions—she needed to refrain from the means of grace in the church (communion) and stop using her gifts for the edification of the body.

Jeanie told me, “I am probably seen as a trouble maker. They think I went off the deep end and divorced my husband. They criticized me for having a crisis of faith and I wouldn’t have if they had not done the things they did.”

Divorce

Secondly, the board of elders believed they needed to investigate and determine the legitimacy of her seeking a divorce. She was warned that if they did not approve of it, she would be unable to marry again—at least in that church.

The perspective that the elders have this kind of power is not an uncommon view in many denominations. However, there are some biblical questions in regards to this view.

In 1 Timothy 5 there are extended instructions for Timothy, a young elder in Ephesus. Here Paul gives Timothy directions for both the elders and congregation in relation to elders. At no point does he suggest that the elders are called to rule in such a way as to bind the consciences of congregant members.

There is a distinct emphasis in New Testament eldership on teaching and Gospel proclamation. It emphasizes careful teaching that does not go beyond the clarity of the Word. The elders are responsible to be good and gracious shepherds, not authoritarian, power-hungry rulers.

  • The congregation in Antioch sent financial aid to the Judean elders (because of a famine that was foretold) by the hands of the Apostles (Acts 11:29-30)
  • In Acts 15, the elders and Apostles in Jerusalem debated the issue of circumcision for new Gentile believers. They sent a letter saying, “Abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality.” (Acts 15:28-29) This was a very careful and limited response that pulled back from legalistic proclamations.
  • The Apostles went from city to city to provide instructions to the congregations. (Acts 16:4)
  • Paul tells the Ephesian elders: “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.” (Acts 20:27-28)
  • After giving the personal qualifications for an elder, Paul says to Titus, “He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” (Titus 1:9) Note “sound doctrine”, not legalistic control.

In Jeanie’s case, the elders, who refused to learn about the dynamics of the sin of abuse, overstepped their calling in Scripture by “disciplining” Jeanie and failed by omission to call Richard to living the Gospel in his marriage and family.

A Proposal

I understand the perspective that Jeanie’s elders have. I am part of a similar elder board.

However, just as an elder board should, without hesitation, provide “permission” —in the form of teaching and individual direction—for the offended spouse to divorce in the case of adultery without laying shame upon the victim in anyway for taking that step, so should they give that permission in the cases of desertion (1 Cor. 7:15).

Considering the instructions in the case law of the Old Testament (Ex. 21:10-11), the victim in an abusive marriage should be given every bit of leeway for physical and emotional provision. Our Lord despises oppressive behavior of any sort and elder boards must be found by the Lord on the side of oppressed.

In addition, it is helpful for an elder board to remember that their congregation is indwelled by the Holy Spirit and that as the elders instruct, they must rely upon the Holy Spirit to teach and convince their hearers of truth—in humility recognizing they could be wrong in their application of Scripture. The binding of a congregant’s conscience is a very serious thing. Laying undue burdens on the sheep was the practice of the Pharisees—who are roundly condemned by Jesus—and for which modern day cults are notorious (Luke 11:46).

Recommendations

After seeing cases like Jeanie’s over and over, I would make the following recommendations to elder boards and church leadership:

  • Get trained in responding to abuse. There are a number of organizations who can provide this training including Refuge Ministries of North America—see the organization’s website in Resources.
  • Receive the complaint of an abusive marriage, believing the victim.
    • Recognize that investigating abuse can be dangerous to the victim—the offender may become more abusive and dangerous as he is challenged.
    • And abusive individuals are often very manipulative and can confuse investigators and completely fool them.
  • Help the complainant understand the Scripture’s teaching on divorce—allowed for adultery (Matt. 5:32) and desertion (1 Cor. 7:15—in principle when a spouse neglects his family or is abusive).
  • Give support and permission to the reporting victim for his or her decision regarding seeking a divorce.

I do not consider these absolutes, but elder boards often are black and white in their thinking and shepherding practices whereas Scripture is not. Shepherding is difficult and takes a significant amount of wisdom.

If you are a leader in the church, please consider seeking training to be a safe place for those who are vulnerable and oppressed.

Laying Down Your Life as a Leader: A Lesson from the Good Shepherd

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Within Christian circles there is much talk of “laying down your life” for others. We talk about it in the contexts of marriage and leadership in particular.

Though most people likely have some idea from where the idea comes—the Bible—they may not know specifically the passage.

In John 10, Jesus is speaking to the crowds. He has just healed a man that was blind since he was born (John 9). It is an extraordinary event (read more about it here). Jesus goes on to teach following this event and creates a “division” among the Jews. And though the Jewish leaders suggest Jesus’ words in John 10 about the “good shepherd” are coming from a demon-possessed man, the people respond, “These are not the words of one who is oppressed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind (Jn 10:21)?”

The words Jesus gives to the crowds are hard words, but particularly hard for leaders in their cultural context. Whereas leaders in that time “lorded it over” their subordinates—as Jesus says in Matthew 20:25—he was calling leaders (and others) to be willing to die in the care of subordinates. This is not too far off as a description of leadership even today.

Studies continually show that a large percentage of employees struggle with a toxic boss or manager.

Kusy, Mitchell, and Holloway, Elizabeth, Toxic Workplace!: Managing Toxic Personalities and Their Systems of Power, 1st Edition (2009)

In John 10:7 Jesus begins to speak figuratively of a shepherd who cares for his sheep. He draws a distinction between a hired hand and the sheep-owning shepherd. This shepherd is not just a paid employee of the owner, but the owner of the sheep himself. The sheep understand this shepherd— “They hear his voice” —and they follow him. They trust him. They know he wants their good.

No Running Away

The good shepherd doesn’t run off when things get tough. He doesn’t leave his sheep unprotected, even when there is danger afoot.

He also draws a distinction between a “thief” who comes to “steal and destroy” and the good shepherd who gives life to the sheep. He provides good pasture and protection from the wolves and the sheep’s own stupidity. While sheep are always “looking for ways to die,” as one sheep rancher told some visitors, the good shepherd looks out for them.

This analogy points to Jesus Christ, who is the only really Good Shepherd. We can’t forget that.

If we lead others . . .

But it also challenges those who lead to be like Jesus. We are being continually conformed to the image of Jesus and this is a part of that. If we lead others, we need to—

  • Know our sheep that they might know us.
  • Be trustworthy that they may trust us.
  • Be respectful that they may respect us.
  • Look out for their good, though we may be put in very uncomfortable positions.
  • For example, standing up for them that, when we do, others look upon us with disfavor because we are associating with and supporting those people.
  • As Paul challenged the Philippian church, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” Philippians 2:3-7

Is this the kind of leader you are?

What would Jesus do?

“The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. . . No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.”

Lay down your life.

Thanking God for Rest

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Thanksgiving Day in the United States is a particularly special day because it is all about being thankful and community. It isn’t about presents or eggs or any other marketing ploy—though there is plenty of that anyway.

I was reading this morning in Matthew and Mark and came across something that is very helpful to me and may be very helpful to you as well.

Jesus and his disciples 2000 years ago were very, very busy. They became very important people in their time as the Gospel spread throughout southern Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. They were serving thousands upon thousands of people—saving, healing, and feeding them.

But, though that is an important part of the biblical text, there was something that stuck out to me this morning: Jesus and his disciples took a time out. In Matthew 14, Jesus heard that King Herod had executed his childhood friend (and relative) John the Baptist.

Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

Matthew 14:13-14 (ESV)

Jesus, the ruler of the universe, took time out to rest and maybe reflect on the loss of his friend John.

But as the crowds gather, he once again served them, healing, teaching, and feeding thousands of people who were in need.

Then the text goes on:

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.

Matthew 14:22-23 (ESV)

Once again, he sends the disciples to get away from the crowds for a bit and he himself headed to the hills to get rest and pray. In Mark it more clearly says the disciples went away to be by themselves (Mark 6:30-32).

The point I want to make is that those who are caregivers for others, following Jesus’ call, need rest. It is not okay to burn out. It is expected by Jesus and you are called to get away at times to rest.

I am horrible at this. With a people-pleasing personality I get sucked into working all the time. . . and I promise you my motives are not always very good. I need that time to rest and pray and get some perspective. Often to come to grips with my rotten motives—to break away from pleasing people to recognize I am not really that important.

Advocates everywhere—heed Jesus’ calling and rest. Today is a good day between all the turkey and ham and mashed potatoes and nsima and fried rice to rest and turn to the Lord in prayer.

Embracing Criticism: Are They Words from the LORD?

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Do you hate to hear criticism?

Of course you do.

We would all like to think we are correct on every point . . . or even wise in how we lead a church, organization, or business . . . or our home.

However, one look at Genesis chapter three should put our minds at ease. We are neither wise or always right. It is there in the garden that we lost any bragging rights to being . . . right.

The Amos Problem

Amos was a “shepherd and farmer called to prophesy during the reigns of Uzziah (792–740 B.C.) in the southern kingdom and Jeroboam II (793–753) in the north.”1

Things were going well for Judah and Israel at the time. Economically, politically . . . but not spiritually apparently. Amos warned King Jeroboam that he would “die by the sword, and Israel must go into exile.” They were words the king didn’t want to hear.

But maybe even more importantly, the priest—a representative of the Lord who was to remain free from political control, but rather to act prophetically to kings—was more interested in remaining close to the power of the king. He went running to the king when Amos prophesied to encourage the king to take action against Amos.

“Amos has conspired against you in the midst of the house of Israel. The land is not able to bear all his words.”

Amos 7:10

Sometimes our followers—those subordinate to our leadership or influence, who have less power than we do—bring words that hurt. Our ego is bruised by their words that challenge our actions, heart (motives), or abilities.

In those moments we need to step back. We need to consider carefully whether those words—even when meant to hurt us because of jealousy or arrogance—are words the Lord wants to use to make us better at leading.

King David’s Experience

When King David came to Bahurim, there came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera, and as he came he cursed continually. 6 And he threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David, and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. 7 And Shimei said as he cursed, “Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! 8 The LORD has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the LORD has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.”

2 Samuel 16:5-8 (ESV)

Abishai, a companion and nephew of King David, sought to protect the king’s ego, and possibly life, and advised the king that he allow Abishai to “take of his head.”

David’s response is a lesson to all leaders. He says, “If he is cursing because the LORD has said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’” It is possible the LORD himself is cursing David through this “dog” as Abishai calls him.

Even those we do not respect may have a word from the LORD in the sense that the LORD is using them to help us see our blind spots and failures.

Leaders need to take warning. Certainly, not every word from our detractors is correct or should be honored or affect our leadership. However, in rejecting the words of Amos, Israel did suffer the fate of being sent into exile. The country continued to rebel against the LORD because they were too proud to hear the words of this shepherd—words from God, Himself.

It is a humble heart that will hear words of criticism as gifts from the LORD.

References

  1. ESV New Classic Reference Bible, Introduction to Amos, (Wheaton, Ill, 2011)
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A Covenant of Peace: When the Lord Banishes Toxic Leadership

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There will come a day.

It is not here, yet.

Nearly everyone who works in the marketplace experiences toxic leadership at some point in his or her career. Approximately a third of women are abused in their lifetime.

The time of peace is not here.

But there will come a time when the Lord banishes toxic leadership in the home, workplace, church, and organization.

Prophesy Against the Shepherds

The prophet and priest, Ezekiel was taken away into exile in Babylon in 597 B.C.

In 597 B.C., King Nebuchadnezzer of Babylon besieged Jerusalem. The siege caused appalling deprivation and suffering. Nebuchadnezzer took Judah’s King Jehoiachin and the nation’s leading citizens off to Babylon. Then, ten years later, he uprooted everybody else and destroyed the temple. The so-called Babylonian Captivity had begun. And tens of thousands were massacred in the process.1

Ministering for over 23 years, Ezekiel “addressed both the exiles and the people left in Judah with messages of warning and judgment, predicting the fall of Jerusalem.”2 In chapter 34, Ezekiel gives a scathing message from the Lord to the spiritual leaders of Judah.

Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my sheep at their hand and put a stop to their feeding the sheep. No longer shall the shepherds feed themselves. I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, that they may not be food for them.

Ezekiel 34:10

For the purpose of vindication and validation, we can be thankful that the Lord will stop the toxic leadership of these “shepherds.” But much of the chapter is more about the kindness of the Lord to those who have suffered under that self-serving leadership.

Ezekiel goes on to say that the Lord “will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered. . . (vs. 11b-12a).”

Toxic leadership always scatters. In this case, Ezekiel is speaking specifically to those located in a small area in the Middle East 2500 years ago. The leadership of Judah had both religious and national consequence as Judah was a full-blown theocracy—a government ruled by a religious organization.

This religious leadership over the nation had “scattered” the sheep of Judah. We can understand this to involve both a spiritual and physical scattering of the people of Judah. It is evident that there was a decided lack of spiritual commitment to God’s law and rule and the people had been taken into captivity by another nation. They had been scattered.

As we bring this warning and teaching into our day and age we would normally apply God’s warnings and promises to the “church” that is the New Testament expansion of God’s people—including both Jew and Gentile. We cannot categorically apply the promises or warnings to Judah in the fifth century B.C. to our own time, but the promises and warnings in this chapter were only in part fulfilled as the Lord brought His people out of exile and back to Jerusalem.

There was still toxic leadership. There was still hatred. There was still suffering in that time and ever since.

However, we know there will come a day when the promises found in this chapter of Ezekiel will be fully—completely and perfectly—realized. That day will be when Christ comes again and banishes evil and enfolds His people in his arms in a love we cannot fully grasp in this life.

Listen to this incredible promise:

And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD.

Ezekiel 34:13-15

It is idyllic. God’s people will be fed and nurtured and protected and given rest.

The “wild beasts” who have created havoc and death and suffering, he says, will be “banished.”

What sweet promises these are. As I watch the suffering of those under toxic leadership I am reminded of these promises that give hope. We might see some relief in this life—gaining freedom from the leader’s grasp—but in the long term, it will only be in eternity that we fully gain that freedom from the ravages of sin in leadership. Even in my own heart, that will be the day I no longer hate and hurt and curse.

Come Lord Jesus, come.

NOTES

  1. Ligonier Ministries. “The Babylonian Captivity.” Accessed October 20, 2024. https://www.ligonier.org/podcasts/simply-put/the-babylonian-captivity.
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  2. ESV New Classic Reference Bible. Introduction to book of Ezekiel. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway, 2011.
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The Slide into Toxic Leadership 2: Amaziah, King of Judah

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Amaziah seemed attentive to the LORD as he began his reign as king of Judah 2800 years ago.

When preparing to go to war, he put together an impressive force of power. He hired mercenaries from the northern kingdom, Israel—100,000 of them.

However, a “man of God” came to him and discouraged him from using the mercenaries in the battle. He rather encouraged Amaziah to rely upon the LORD instead of seeking the help of his Israelite mercenaries.

Of course, Amaziah feared losing the money he had promised to the mercenaries. But he was encouraged by the man of God that the LORD would provide for him. Amaziah believed him, paid the cash he promised the mercenaries, and as a result was victorious in battle because he relied on the LORD.

King Amaziah reigned in Judah for 29 years, beating the 20 years that the average king ruled in the southern kingdom.

Scipture tells us “he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, yet not with a whole heart.”

2 Chronicles 25:2

The Slide

That sensitive heart that was willing to hear criticism, even criticism that would affect his wallet, disappeared however.

Once he had won the battle, Amaziah “brought the gods of the men of Seir and set them up as his gods and worshiped them, making offerings to them.”

Therefore the LORD was angry with Amaziah and sent to him a prophet, who said to him, “Why have you sought the gods of a people who did not deliver their own people from your hand?”

2 Chronicles 25:15

Instead of displaying a heart of love for the LORD, the sensitivity he had when he began his reign, Amaziah interupts a prophet sent by the LORD to challenge him, saying, “Have we made you a royal counselor? Stop! Why should you be struck down?”

So the prophet stopped, but said, “I know that God has determined to destroy you, because you have done this and have not listened to my counsel.”

2 Chronicles 25:16

Beginning Well

Unfortunately, this is so often the heart of man.

Leaders begin well. The LORD has given them vision for the organization they have been tasked with leading. Their motives, though always mixed—for we are never without sin—are that God be glorified in the church, business, or organization and that they serve people. Diane Langberg says,

Many times someone starts out believing they are called by God and instilled with a God-given vision. Somewhere down the road, when the vision has grown, the demands are great, and the pressure is on, the servant becomes obedient to the work and its demands rather than to Christ.

Langberg, Diane. Redeeming Power (p. 149). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

They begin a mission work in Africa that desires to help people use their gifts to create beauty, good crops, healthy societies, biblical churches, or other fulfillments of the “dominion mandate.” I worked for one of these visionary missionaries.

Or they plant a church that seeks to be engaged with the surrounding culture, giving light and a witness to Christ. They serve their neighborhoods and their churches expand exponentially.

Or they start a ministry helping people build their own home, giving witness to the love of Jesus. The ministry soon covers the globe.

Drinking the Koolaid

But, in time they begin to drink the koolaid of power and self-sufficiency.

Amaziah, after seeing the LORD’s destruction of his enemies in Seir, turned his eye upon his brothers in the north—Israel. He challenged King Joash and the king rebuffed him. Scripture says that the LORD was bringing about the downfall of Amaziah because he had turned from God to himself.

So, Amaziah, in his arrogance goes up against Israel. 2nd Chronicles says,

And Joash king of Israel captured Amaziah king of Judah, the son of Joash, son of Ahaziah, at Beth-shemesh, and brought him to Jerusalem and broke down the wall of Jerusalem for 400 cubits, from the Ephraim Gate to the Corner Gate.

The Israelite king stole all the gold and silver from the Temple and Amaziah’s palace in Jerusalem in addition to taking hostages back to Samaria with him.

Though Amaziah lived another 15 years in Jerusalem, Scripture is silent regarding those years. Those years of his reign are clearly of no consequence.

Amaziah’s slide into toxic leadership left him broken and in the end men within his own government made a conspiracy against him and he ran for the hills. However, they caught up with him and murdered him.

The Failure of Toxic Leadership

This is the way of toxic leadership. When man begins to rely upon himself—maybe on marketing, image control, power, and authority—he begins the slide into a leadership that no one wants. There will be rebellion, financial failure, and possibly a legacy of hatred rather than the glory the leader so desparately desires.

Toxic leadership almost never ends well.

But it is never too late to turn in repentance; to admit to failure. Turn from self to the LORD. Turn to the only One who can be relied upon to run your church, business, or organization.

Your legacy of self-importance is not nearly as important as His glory.

The Slide Into Toxic Leadership 1: The Story of Jeroboam, King of Israel

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There were two leaders responsible for the split of Israel and Judah in the Old Testament recounted for us in 1st Kings and 2nd Chronicles. Both leaders are good examples of bad leadership.

I have said it before: I have hopes when I write these blogs that those who are on the edge of leading abusively—or are maybe even over the edge—will read and hear words that the LORD uses to turn their hearts. Even when I am writing directly to the victims of toxic leadership, I hope leaders will develop some empathy and seek to reform their own ways.

Jeroboam and Rehoboam led the nation of Israel into two camps—and geographic localities. Ten of the twelve tribes followed Jeroboam and made up Israel in the north (Samaria) while two tribes followed Rehoboam and were in the south including Jerusalem, the city of David.

Jeroboam, the Providential Hero

The kingdom of Israel was Rehoboam’s birthright as he was Solomon’s son and rightful heir. However, Solomon’s sin and foolish leadership at the end of his reign brought a partial judgment of God on the nation resulting in the LORD putting Jeroboam in leadership of the northern tribes—he was not in the promised line of David.

In ways, Jeroboam is a bit of a hero to begin with. When Solomon was having work done in Jerusalem, Scripture says, “The man Jeroboam was very able, and when Solomon saw that the young man was industrious he gave him charge over all the forced labor of the house of Joseph (1 Kings 11:28).”

It is a positive introduction to this future leader of (some of) God’s people.

Jeroboam was taken aside by a prophet (Ahijah the Shilonite) and told,

And I will take you, and you shall reign over all that your soul desires, and you shall be king over Israel. And if you will listen to all that I command you, and will walk in my ways, and do what is right in my eyes by keeping my statutes and my commandments, as David my servant did, I will be with you and will build you a sure house, as I built for David, and I will give Israel to you.

1 Kings 11:37-38 (ESV)

A wonderful promise to Jeroboam: “Follow me and I will be with you.”

On the other hand, Rehoboam does not start well in the south. Scripture tells us he answered “harshly” the request of the people that he not lead like his father did (1 Kings 12:16-24). Thus, the split in Israel and Jeroboam’s opportunity to lead a good portion of the nation in the way of the good kings.

Jeroboam, the Toxic Leader

But Jeroboam instead took the path of toxic leadership: self-protectionism.

As he began to establish his reign, he built an important city in the hill country named Shechem and then the city Penuel in addition. Shechem was the location where Abram built an altar to God because He appeared to him (Genesis 12:7). It was a place of promise and worship.

However, in the intervening years, the LORD had established Jerusalem as his place of rule and His temple was also there. The LORD put it there for His worship and sacrifices—sacrifices were not allowed by God anywhere but in the Jerusalem Temple.

Unfortunately, Jeroboam became fearful that the ten tribes he was leading would go on their annual pilgrimage to sacrifice in the Jerusalem Temple never to return. Maybe Jerusalem would just be too enticing for them.

He even feared his life, thinking, “People will turn again to their lord, to Rehoboam king of Judah, and they will kill me and return to Rehoboam king of Judah (1 Kings 12:27).”

Like the Berlin wall, Jeroboam set up a spiritual / psychological wall of demarcation by providing alternative places of worship and sacrifice in Shechem to keep the Israelites captivated with Samaria.

So Jeroboam became a toxic leader.

Seeing the Toxicity

He mimicked Temple worship with the addition of providing golden calves—idols—to the mix and telling the people, “Behold your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. (1 Kings 12:28)” He provided similar festivals to those God had given the people, giving the Samaritans new traditions tied to the old.

We then see Jeroboam’s slide into toxic leadership in is his response to criticism for his idolatry and rebellion against the LORD. As he made sacrifices—something he was not allowed to do as king—a prophet from Judah in the south challenged him. Jeroboam became angry and commanded that the guards take the prophet.

However, the LORD struck Jeroboam with leprosy and he cried out to be healed by the prophet which the LORD graciously did.

What Are Those Toxic Traits?

Toxic leadership almost always involves a heightened sense of anxiety at the loss of leadership and the adoration of others resulting in defensiveness and blame-shifting when confronted.

Often a leader will respond to criticism seemingly well to begin with, but over time—sometimes only hours—he will begin to create justifications and point to others to take the blame.

A good way to determine if your leader is toxic is to give him the “Response Test.” Kindly, graciously, and humbly challenge your leader. How does he or she respond? Keep in mind that many people will respond immediately with justifications or defensiveness. However, if they are toxic, they will keep it up and possibly even retaliate against you, isolate you from others in the organization, or simply ignore you.

If they are not toxic, they will come around. They may not agree with you, but they will consider your claim and express some form of appreciation for it.

Toxic Followers

Unfortunately, when the leader shifts the blame in response, instead of allowing the blame to remain on the leader, some followers—in the interest of pleasing their powerful leader—will take the blame themselves or soften the effects of the foolish behavior of the leader.

Middle-management is notorious for this complicity.

They may feel—rightly—that keeping their jobs or status within the organization requires providing a buffer between the subordinates and the toxic boss. It can almost be a badge of honor for them to seek to mediate between their boss and their employees. It feels “above the fray,” “mature,” and even may give a sense of power to middle managers.

But in the end, it always collapses. There really is no softening or mediating toxic leadership.

So, Jeroboam’s rule collapsed. In 2 Chronicles 13:20 it says:

Jeroboam did not recover his power in the days of Abijah. And the LORD struck him down, and he died.

It ended with his battle against Judah. Whereas, Judah sought the LORD, Jeroboam had slid into toxic leadership, worshipping those who were not God.

When a Leader Turns Toxic: Asa King of Judah

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I never tire of nor do I ever run short of biblical material for the study of abusive leadership.

I say that because of the number of people out there who don’t think of abuse as of any importance. They don’t believe that the Bible speaks to abuse. They think that all sin is basically the same and should be handled much the same way.

I recognize that most people reading my blog are those who do actually see it in scripture and want to understand it better from a biblical view. But I still have hopes that there are those out there who will come across some of these writings and come to realize that they have shorted God’s Word by failing to see abuse deliniated in its pages.

And in response, become caring and empathetic in their approach to survivers of abusive leadership.

Asa, King of Judah

I often turn to the kings of Judah and Israel for my material. The history of the kings is found in the two books of Kings and two books of Chronicles in the Bible. These summary stories of the kings does not hold back on the good and bad of these kings.

There was a king who ruled in Judah around the ninth century B.C. whose name was Asa. His story is told in 2 Chronicles chapters 14 through 16. His particular story is a good warning for leaders. If you are a leader in any capacity, please consider Asa. As a friend of mine likes to say, “Everyone is good for something . . . even if it is as a bad example.”

There are those leaders who are simply bad. They are toxic to their core and they reap destruction in the workplace.

But, there are leaders who begin well and end badly. We can take a birdseye view of the span of their ministry and sorrowfully recount their failings.

It is said of Asa,

And Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the LORD his God. 3 He took away the foreign altars and the high places and broke down the pillars and cut down the Asherim 4 and commanded Judah to seek the LORD, the God of their fathers, and to keep the law and the commandment.

2 Chronicles 14:2-4 (ESV)

It was a good start to his reign in Judah. There is so much promise in those two verses. Scripture notes in the next verse that “the kingdom had rest under him.” There was peace, clearly as a result of his good leadership.

Then War

As an example of Asa’s good and godly leadership, the story is told of when an Ethiopian ruler attacked Judah. Asa led his army out against Zerah the Ethiopian and the writer of Chronicles recounts Asa’s prayer:

“O LORD, there is none like you to help, between the mighty and the weak. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this multitude. O LORD, you are our God; let not man prevail against you.”

2 Chronicles 14:11

It is a beautiful prayer. It is an expression of Asa’s dependence on the LORD and recognition that his life is in service to God and not his own comforts or power.

Scripture tells us that as a result, the LORD “defeated the Ethiopians before Asa and before Judah, and the Ethiopians fled.”

Spiritual Leadership

The passage goes on to deliniate Asa’s spiritual leadership in Judah. Following his victory on the battlefield, a prophet approaches Asa and tells him, “The LORD is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”

Leaders, this is your call. As the LORD called Asa to seek Him always, so the LORD calls you to seek Him always. And the promise is sure that if you seek the LORD, He will be evident to you (“found by you”).

Again, there are encouraging words of Asa. He immediately made more spiritual reforms in Judah to show all the people they needed to rely on the LORD not on idols.

Relying on Other

But well into Asa’s reign—33 years—he turned to someone other than the LORD to protect him against an invading army. After all that has been said about it, it is a jarring change of storyline.

Scripture says,

At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, “Because you relied on the king of Syria, and did not rely on the LORD your God, the army of the king of Syria has escaped you. 8 Were not the Ethiopians and the Libyans a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet because you relied on the LORD, he gave them into your hand. 9 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars.”

2 Chronicles 16:7-9

It was a crushing blow to Asa. In one sentence the fall of Asa is described: “Then Asa was angry with the seer and put him in the stocks in prison, for he was in a rage with him because of this. And Asa inflicted cruelties upon some of the people at the same time.”

Asa is angry (indignent in Hebrew) and raging (storming in Hebrew). His actions towards the seer, who is bringing an opportunity to repent and seek forgiveness in humility, is rather rebellion and anger. Asa belies a toxic heart.

And that toxic heart would give way to physical decline. Three years later he got a disease in his feet and died.

It is such a disappointing end to his reign. A man who clearly loved the LORD and sought him ended his leadership in disgrace and the oppression of others over whom he had power.

Have you seen this in your own leader? Have you seen it in yourself?

You may be becoming enthralled with your image. You may be leading some people who have strong opinions—and share them readily—and feel intimidated by them. You may feel you must show how much smarter and stronger you are and you may be using sarcasm and put downs to show them.

Turn to the LORD instead.

Remember, “If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”

Self-Differentiation and the Use of Gifts

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I have written quite a lot about “self-differentiation” ever since my doctoral study [see here]. At that time, my research advisor was pressing me to focus on this psychological concept—also biblical—in my dissertation about toxic leadership.

The term basically means to remain free from the psychological control of other people. Christian writers like Herrington, Creech, and Taylor have taken the idea and brought Scripture to bear on it.1 They point to Jesus as the ultimate self-differentiated individual as he engaged with others in a deep, empathetic way while not being controlled by them.

Jesus is an example to us.

There is another man in Scripture who, though deeply broken, was a “type of Christ” in the Old Testament—Jesus’ forefather King David.

The story of David, a rapist (2 Sam. 11:4) and murderer (2 Sam. 11:15), gives hope to every man, woman, and child that in our wickedness we can be redeemed. In 1 Samuel 17 the story of David and Goliath is told. It provides for us a picture of self-differentiation.

David Shows Up

David, the youngest of his brothers, would go back and forth to the battle lines where his older brothers were engaged in a war with the Philistines. He would bring food and supplies from his family to them.

One day David showed up and heard the giant of a man, Goliath, taunting the Israelite army. As David spoke with various soldiers about it, his oldest brother said,

“Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.”

1 Samuel 17:28

I don’t know what was in David’s heart but his response is certainly self-differentiated:

“What have I done now? Was it not but a word?” And he turned away from him toward another, and spoke in the same way, and the people answered him again as before.

1 Samuel 17:29-30

It is a bit defensive— “What have I done now?” — but he does not allow Eliab (brother) to deter him from gaining more information about Goliath.

What I want to get at is that victims of toxic leadership normally shut down. As they are critisized by their boss, ridiculed by a manager, or demoted because they don’t practice image-control as their bosses require of them, they turn inward, keep their head down, and sort of do their jobs.

Who wants to be criticized? Who wants to face ostracization?

We want to keep our jobs. We want to please our bosses and supervisors.

All normal and all understandable.

But not always self-differentiated.

David’s Self-Differentiation

Rather than sulk away as I did many times under a toxic boss, David went to the big boss—King Saul—when Saul called for him. David told Saul, “Let no man’s heart fail because of [Goliath]. Your servant will go and fight with this Philistine.”

So, David goes out to meet the giant and there meets further scorn:

“Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. The Philistine said to David, “Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field.”

1 Samuel 17:43-44

I love David’s response. It could sound arrogant, except that it is a testimony to dependence on the LORD. And dependence on the LORD is fundamental to Christian self-differentiation.

Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, 47 and that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give you into our hand.”

1 Samuel 17:45-47 (ESV)

Sunday School materials are full of applications culled from this passage that tell children to stand up to their greatest fears. Sometimes those applications are ridiculed, but that interpretation is not far off.

What can be missing is that it wasn’t in David mustering the strength from deep within, but in his dependence and belief that God had his back and he was doing the right thing in response to God’s calling.

So to trust God alone is self-differentiation for the Christian.

Jesus’ Self-Differentiation

I believe the most apropos passage for defining self-differentiation is when, after Jesus did many signs and wonders, many “believed” in him. John says,

But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people 25 and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.

John 2:24-25 (ESV)

Jesus knew what was in man. So too, David knew not to trust in man’s confident assertions (Goliath’s or his brothers’) but in God Himself.

Self-differentiation is just this: Not allowing the anxiety of others to control our own trust in Jesus. It frees us to stand up to toxic leaders where others cower. It frees us to leave the toxic workplace when others fear leaving. It allows us to reject the arrows of our antagonists whether they are a boss, fellow employee, or church leader.

Give your trust to Jesus, not to any other man.

NOTES

  1. Herrington, Jim. The Leader’s Journey: Accepting the Call to Personal and Congregational Transformation. 1st ed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003. ↩︎