Because it led to one of the greatest events in all of human history. The resurrection of Jesus for the rescue of mankind.
But have you ever considered what brought on the darkness of this day that leads to that day?
Toxic Leadership.
It is actually quite simple, but it wasn’t until my friend Anders Örtenblad pointed it out to me this week.
Our focus over the Easter weekend, of course, is on what Jesus Christ, who walked the earth about 2000 years ago, did in going willingly to a tortuous death—one that is unparalleled in history. But what happened to bring that about?
Jesus entered Jerusalem the Sunday before His arrest by the Jewish and then Roman authorities to shouts of praise and the waving of tree branches—the sign of a conquering hero returning from battle. This image is also played out in that Jesus heads to the Temple (Mark 11:13) which the hero would do to give sacrifice to the people’s gods. Of course, He would sacrifice Himself for the sins of the people at the end of the week.
But what brought about His death and sacrifice was the interaction of multiple kinds of toxic leadership: Pilate (the Roman authority), Judas (an Apostle), and the Jewish Sanhedrin. Religious leaders and civic leaders.
Each of these leaders practiced a different kind of leadership that is ultimately destructive.
The Apostle:
Judas was one of the original Apostles, chosen by Jesus Christ as a messenger to the world of the Good News of God’s redemption of his World. In essence he could be compared to a “middle-manager,” having an authority higher than himself and at the will of that authority (Jesus).
It appears in Scripture that he particularly focused on wealth (John 12:4). Money drove his toxic leadership (Matthew 26:14).
In this passage in Matthew, Judas went to the Jewish ruling council (Sanhedrin) and asked them, “What will you give me if I deliver him over to you?” They gave him 30 pieces of silver for his task of turning on his boss, One who happened to be absolutely righteous and holy, and the best boss one could ever hope for.
Incredible?
Yes, but the evil in man can drive those who seek wealth or comfort or fame to do some incredible things. And when in leadership, their destruction can be overwhelming to others.
Jewish Sanhedrin:
The Jewish council paid Judas to inform on Jesus and they went to arrest Him in the garden where He was praying. According to scholars, the council broke a long list of their own rules to arrest Jesus and try Him on false charges, demanding that the Roman authorities execute Him.
Why would they go to such extreme measures? Competition.
They were jealous of the competition that Jesus was giving them. Jesus had continually challenged their holier-than-thou attitudes and actions, many of their teachings that were unbiblical, and in turn their authority among the people (Matthew 23:1-12, 23; Mark 5:7-13).
They wanted to wipe out the competition. The competition was taking away their authority before the people that they had lorded over them and enjoyed.
So they brought trumped up charges just like leaders we see now in religious, civic, and organizational/business environments. They sought any way possible to destroy their competition.
Pilate, the Roman Authority:
Finally, we see Pilate, who at one point recognizes the innocence of Jesus though the Sanhedrin had argued vehemently for Jesus’ conviction. Pilate seems to waver and suggests to the crowds that Jesus be traded out for a truly guilty prisoner. But the crowd, stirred up by the Jewish leaders, makes their wishes known all the more.
In the end, Pilate is a victim of his people-pleasing attitude and simply goes for the easy rather than right decision.
There may be more leaders like Pilate than are like the others. However, those who refuse to be under Jesus’ rule and would rather do what makes others under their authority happy, even if wrong and destructive, create chaos and suffering for those same people in the end.
At the End of the Day
All of this toxic leadership brings about the conviction and execution of a completely innocent man—the God of the universe.
That should be shocking and confusing and angering to all. There should not be a dry eye in the house.
However, at the end of the day, or should I say weekend, Jesus Christ, who was dead and buried, rose from the dead in glory.
He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
That judgment will mean life and wholeness and peace to all who call upon his name, rejecting the toxic leadership of Judas, the Sanhedrin, and Roman authority, and turning to Him in faith.
King Solomon, maybe the wisest king of all time, had extraordinary gifts from the LORD.
1 Kings 10:23 tells us that “King Solomon excelled all the kings of the earth in riches and in wisdom.” As time goes along, “the whole earth sought the presence of Solomon to hear his wisdom, which God had put into his mind.”
Earlier in the book of 1st Kings, the LORD appeard to Solomon in a dream and asked him, “What shall I give you (1 Kings 3:5)?”
Solomon answers in a beautiful expression of humility: he needs wisdom more than anything—to discern between good and evil. He has just become the leader of God’s people, who are numerous, and as a young man he needs God’s wisdom to rule well.
The LORD answers his request and more. He says He will give him both wisdom and, because he didn’t ask for it, riches and honor.
And thus, Solomon begins his reign with wisdom and starts to build a wealthy and powerful dynasty. The LORD tells Solomon that he will be wiser than all who came before and all who come after if he will “walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments (1 Kings 3:14).”
Blessings and Honor
Seems simple enough. Solomon, like all men, is not a paragon of virtue, but he humbly recognizes his inabilities and depends upon the LORD’s forgiveness and help.
He became wealthy and other leaders looked to him for wisdom including the Queen of Sheba. You get the sense he is the most powerful man in his part of the world. He received honor and glory from all the nations surrounding Israel.
Every one of them brought his present, articles of silver and gold, garments, myrrh, spices, horses, and mules, so much year by year. 26 And Solomon gathered together chariots and horsemen. He had 1,400 chariots and 12,000 horsemen, whom he stationed in the chariot cities and with the king in Jerusalem. 27 And the king made silver as common in Jerusalem as stone, and he made cedar as plentiful as the sycamore of the Shephelah. 28 And Solomon’s import of horses was from Egypt and Kue, and the king’s traders received them from Kue at a price. 29 A chariot could be imported from Egypt for 600 shekels of silver and a horse for 150, and so through the king’s traders they were exported to all the kings of the Hittites and the kings of Syria.
1 Kings 10:25-29 (ESV)
What is the Purpose?
So, in receiving all this blessing from the LORD, what do you think Solomon considered his purpose to be?
Scripture has memorialized his thinking in the form of his poetry. The Psalms are songs for the use in worship. David, his father, who was a great musician wrote nearly half of the 150 Psalms contained in the Bible. But Solomon is also a contributor to the book of worship music.
Psalms 72 gives us insight to how Solomon understood his purpose as a leader:
Give the king your justice, O God, and your righteousness to the royal son! 2 May he judge your people with righteousness, and your poor with justice! 3 Let the mountains bear prosperity for the people, and the hills, in righteousness! 4 May he defend the cause of the poor of the people, give deliverance to the children of the needy, and crush the oppressor!
Psalms 72:1-4 (ESV)
What impression do you get as you read his song of praise?
His work as a leader should be like the work of any leader: to provide justice and prosperity for the people. And that includes stopping those who crush others—oppressors.
He goes on to develop the idea in the song:
12 For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. 13 He has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy. 14 From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.
Psalms 72:12-14
There is a distinct focus on caring for those who are struggling to care for themselves—the poor and needy.
What we see in so many leaders is quite the opposite. Their arrogance, narcissism, raging, and image control cause the “oppression and violence” that Solomon decries in his Psalm. Those behaviors and attitudes are opposite of what a good leader is to do and be.
Solomon sounds like the kind of leader I want.
However, it does not end well for Solomon.
The Fall
The LORD does not withdraw His blessing; Solomon scuttles it.
For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
1 Kings 11:4 (ESV)
It is hard to believe that once, having tasted such incredible goodness from the LORD, a leader would turn his back on Him. But, in Solomon’s case, he chose to break God’s law in regards to marriage and took on his wives’ idols for his dependance and worship.
His idolatry was expressed in the worship of mythological gods common to his wives and the nations from where they came. It is more likely that a leader in our culture will turn to the gods of wealth, power, fame, and image control rather than a golden artifact. But these are idols nonetheless—things that are trusted in other than the LORD.
Solomon’s legacy ends up being the breakup of the nation into two parts—northern and southern—and continual hostilities between God’s people.
That breakup was brought about by his son who thought the counsel of his buddies to oppress the people was better than the counsel of justice given by older and wiser men. The young men suggested he take control of the people and say to them:
“‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s thighs. And now, whereas my father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.’”
1 Kings 12:10-11 (ESV)
It is evident that Solomon had become a slave-driver—doing quite the opposite of what his Psalm 72 says a king should do. Rehoboam also chose to counter his father Solomon’s psalm.
This was Solomon’s legacy because he rejected the LORD’s good and peace-giving guidance on leadership. He created an environment of injustice, power, and authoritarianism that his son learned at his knee. He allowed all those gifts of wisdom and wealth given by the LORD to create a monster.
For those of us in the West, we have the opportunity to reject such leaders. We have freedoms unknown to many throughout the ages to get free from political, social, spousal, and employment leaders who are narcissistic and destructive.
He has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy.
Recently, a survivor of domestic violence shared an apology letter her abuser had written to her. It sounded pretty good.
But, as most who have dealt with an abuser, she was not taken in by the carefully chosen sweet words.
In 1st Samuel 26 we see a false apology by King Saul.
Then Saul said, “I have sinned. Return, my son David, for I will no more do you harm, because my life was precious in your eyes this day. Behold, I have acted foolishly, and have made a great mistake.”
1 Samuel 26:21
Saul had been chasing David seeking to kill him. In this passage, David has snuck up on King Saul, giving David the opportunity to end the chase by killing Saul. But rather than killing Saul, he gave him opportunity to repent of his evil.
Saul seems deeply moved by David’s grace and admits he acted foolishly.
Sounds good, but it is a much harder thing to say, “I envied you, David. I had hatred in my heart for you. I desired your death.”
Each of the italicized words are heart words. They are the spring from which grow the evil fruit we all produce. These come from the heart; and what I mean by heart is the whole of the inner man—cognitive and emotive.
But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
Matthew 15:18-19 (ESV)
Out of the depths of man come the evil we act upon.
So, when an apology is made for actions that have crushed others, it is appropriate for the apology to give attention to from where that evil action came. “I was chasing you, David because I was envious and hateful.”
“I was harsh with my Assistant Pastor because I envied his skills.”
The Difficulty of Real Apologies
The reason we don’t hear real apologies is because it is very hard to give them.
To bring our inner evil to light just takes too much humility and self-awareness. Imagine an abusive leader whose entitlement and power is so much of their substance and identity; how can they humbly admit to such wickedness?
It is difficult for the average Joe. Just imagine how difficult it is for the one who is so unwilling to dive deeply into his own heart and air out the stench contained there.
It is interesting, as you read on in 1st Samuel; David is not taken in by Saul’s apology. The text goes on to record David’s thoughts:
“Now I shall perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than that I should escape to the land of the Philistines.”
1 Samuel 27:1
There is more than one place where David shows his insight to Saul’s wickedness. I wrote earlier about how Jonathan—Saul’s son—was taken in by Saul’s apologies. But David is not.
What Are We to Do?
There is One Who is omniscient—the Lord God Almighty. He knows the heart—the whole inner being of man—and He knows whether or not an apology is truly from the heart.
Because of that, we must not make judgments beyond what is clearly evident. Though we make judgments of the heart on a regular basis—our laws are in part based on them (1st degree murder as opposed to manslaughter) —it is something we must do carefully and with good evidence in hand. Yes, we can logically assume when someone does great evil, that since great evil comes out of the heart, there is great evil intended.
Yet, because there can be unintended evil actions and therefore, not coming from evil intent, we cannot ultimately be perfect judges of inner character. We are not omniscient and do not fully see the inner man.
Give it Time
Therefore I recommend the following perspectives to those who have received apologies from their toxic leader:
It might be true,
or it might be false,
we are not omniscient,
so it does not change anything,
and to know the answer to 1) or 2) it takes time for the fruit of repentance to be evident.
Numbers one, two, and three are obvious; it is only God who knows the heart and so we cannot ultimately—in this life—know if an apology is truly true or not. Though Scripture makes clear that Christians may make some judgments based on the outward works of others (Matt. 12:33-37), it also makes clear we must be very, very careful doing so (Jam. 4:12).
We must not claim omniscience.
So, an apology initially does not really change anything.
We do not know for certain that the abusive individual is truly confessing his sin or simply trying to manipulate his victims, those to whom they are accountable, and/or onlookers. So, we must continue to press forward with what we believe the LORD is calling us to do in the meantime.
Leaders should not be placed back on their platform until their apparent repentance becomes true repentance. That takes time; so give it time.
Because we do not know the heart of the abuser, and we have suffered great harm, it is acting responsibly to be wary of their confession. It is certainly reasonable to accept it as given, while unnecessary to proclaim they have repented and place ourselves under their control prematurally.
Get to a safe place, and give it time for the fruit of repentance to be evident—or not.
Recently, I was having one of those imaginary discussions. You know, the conversations where your anger ramps up against whom you had a disagreement—though they are not present to actually fight back?
One of the things I stated to my imaginary combatant was, “You are going to tell me that you are doubting the LORD of heaven and earth, Who created you, and could crush you with His pinky?”
All people, everywhere, at all times have been tempted to distrust the LORD—often many times per day. That distrust of God in essence is what drives our trust in ourselves. We, in practice, believe that we can make better decisions, control situations better, and get the job done better than the LORD, even if we would never admit that.
How could we ever presume to be so powerful. There is one God and he can crush us with His pinky.
So too the Israelite leaders—priests and kings and counselors—thought they knew better than the LORD when Zechariah spoke around 500 B.C.
But Zechariah pummeled the Israelite leadership with these words:
“My [God’s] anger is hot against the shepherds, and I will punish the leaders; for the LORD of hosts cares for his flock, the house of Judah, and will make them like his majestic steed in battle. 4 From him shall come the cornerstone, from him the tent peg, from him the battle bow, from him every ruler—all of them together. 5 They shall be like mighty men in battle, trampling the foe in the mud of the streets; they shall fight because the LORD is with them, and they shall put to shame the riders on horses.”
Zechariah 10:3-5 (ESV)
God is angry at the leaders of His people.
So much so, He promises to punish them. This is a common theme among the “minor prophets” of the Old Testament. Prophets like Zechariah were continually calling God’s people to repentance for their evil, often for the way the leaders (more powerful) oppressed the vulnerable (the weaker). The leaders are held to a higher standard throughout Scripture.
How does Zechariah say God will punish these wicked leaders?
He is going to raise up the followers—the house of Judah—to overwhelm the leaders. The humble will overcome the great. The arrogance of the wicked leaders will be judged.
Symbolic Implements of Destruction
Zechariah notes the symbolic implements of destruction as the means by which these subordinates would bring judgment upon the leaders:
From him shall come the cornerstone,
from him the tent peg,
from him the battle bow
Though we see the LORD raise up other nations to drag these leaders into exile, the ultimate fulfillment is found 500 years later through the raising of Jesus—born in the house of Judah—from the dead.
Some commentaries suggest the CORNERSTONE to be symbolic of a ruler or prince. Ultimately, we know that the LORD raised up Jesus Christ to be the true Israelite cornerstone—ruler and prince—and exemplify the leader who brings restoration and healing to the downtrodden Israelites.
However, He does so by also judging the evil of man’s out of control leadership which Israel was experiencing at the time of Zechariah.
Zechariah says the TENT PEG will be brought forth by the LORD. Most suggest this refers to the symbolic purpose of the tent peg:
The allusion is either to a nail, by which the timber in the building is compacted together, and the whole is strengthened, as the church is by Christ: or to a nail to which the cords of tents are fastened, as those of shepherds, travellers, or soldiers; the church is as such a tent . . .
Jesus, the Cornerstone will bring the nation together against these wicked leaders.
However, there may be another interpretation: The allusion may be to Judges 4:21 where Jael, “the wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand. Then she went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple until it went down into the ground while he was lying fast asleep from weariness. So he died.”
A wicked king in Canaan, Sisera, was subdued by a “tent-dwelling woman.” So, too it will be a lowly carpenter’s Son [Jesus] who will drive the nail destroying wicked leadership of God’s people (Rev. 20:11f).
And the final implement of war and destruction—of overcoming wicked leadership—is the bow; used as our drones are today to bring down enemies at a distance.
My imaginary conversation came around to the LORD Who can crush me with His little finger. Leaders, in the home or workplace or church, who think they are so powerful to control and suck the life out of their subjects need beware:
The Cornerstone, nail, and bow of the LORD will ultimately destroy those who have been raised up to lead and who have used that privilage and responsibility to oppress God’s people instead of serving them.
Zechariah calls for repentance as all the minor prophets do. Will wicked leaders heed the warning? Will they turn from their wicked leadership before the LORD crushes them with His pinky?
When Rachel Black was struggling to make sense of her abusive pastor, there was no Christianity Today Mars Hill podcasts and seemingly no books on how an employee in a church is to respond to such disregard.
All she knew was the “hairs on her arms stood up” as she sought to understand her boss.
Rachel was the Administrative Manager of the church, acting as a “Chief Operating Officer” in the secular world’s terminology. Her duties included nearly everything that made ministry possible for the nearly 500 member church. She supervised eight staff members and oversaw facilities, technology, purchasing, and human resources.
It began with a simple lack of acknowledgement that struck her as “off”. The slight seemed unusual for a pastor and a boss. Rachel dismissed her concern and told herself, “Who did I think I was needing recognition?”
But it ended up just being a “signal” of what was to come.
The newly hired pastor seemed to make it a point to ignore her in staff meetings, never asking her input, though the men on staff were given great consideration. It took nearly 30 weeks (staff meetings happening every week) before Rachel was acknowledged by the new pastor.
Yet, Rachel was expected to be on call seemingly 24/7, often being asked to respond to fabricated emergencies during inopportune times like the dinner hour. On the other hand male leaders such as the Associate Pastor were explicitly given agency to ignore work matters if desired and not to expect work communications while they were off the clock.
Happy Place
Prior to Pastor Jack’s hiring as Senior Pastor, the former pastor and Rachel joked about the church being run by Team Raul and Team Black. No longer. Rachel said it became Pyramid Jack, noting the ministry was “him at top . . . everyone else in positions under his thumb.”
Prior to the Pastor Jack’s tenure, Rachal considered her church her “happy place.”
“I was there six days a week . . . then I wondered why it wasn’t my happy place anymore.”
Then news of Ravi Zacharias’ toxic leadership came out. As Rachel read the reports she was struck by the similarities to her experiences under Pastor Jack.
She explained, “I did more research. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.” She began asking, “What is bullying?” all the while seeing “the patterns of power on which it turned.”
Are Women a Problem?
Rachel told me of an experience of going to bat for a woman volunteer who had been writing the bible studies for a paid Youth Leader.
The Youth Leader had been using the studies and making public claims that they were his own work.
Knowing that the matter hadn’t been dealt with by the Associate Pastor, she met privately with Pastor Jack to tell him what was going on. The dismissiveness gave Rachel the sense that if you “advocate for a woman, you were in trouble.”
No Complaints
There had been no complaints about Rachel’s work, yet after about 30 days, tasks for which she had normally been responsible for were being “siphoned off” by Pastor Jack.
One particular project suddenly was halted and so Rachel went to talk to one of the elders in the church who had experience in HR. She was confused and stressed out and wanted to understand what was happening in her relationship to Pastor Jack.
The elder listened to Rachel but ultimately she said,
“He pushed back in ways that if I was more savvy I would have realized that he was not going to support me, but run interference with his beloved pastor.”
The elder went straight to Pastor Jack.
Another elder did much the same thing. Rachel trusted these men to whom the pastor should have been accountable for his horrific treatment of an employee. Rachel was concerned about “gossiping.” She said, “I told [these two elders] first before anyone else . . . I know gossip is not a good thing.”
She explained she told the “bare number” of people, only seeking out those who may have had the ability to help bring reconciliation.
Last Legs
The elders met with the pastor a few days afterwards and shared her concerns. Coming out of that meeting the elders suddenly changed their position, feeling that she should have brought her issues to the pastor directly because they believed it was important to model Matthew 18.
Two days later, she received a morning email from Pastor Jack ordering Rachel to come to his office for a private meeting at 9:15 AM.
Rachel’s meeting with Pastor Jack was “45 minutes of him railing” on her. “I have never seen such an emotional person in distress . . . he was seething. Not yelling. He spoke slowly . . . could barely form words.”
According to Rachel, Pastor Jack said, “Do you know what damage you have done? How it makes me look to the elders. I can’t believe a staff member of mine could do this.”
Rachel said when she told Pastor Jack that she was intimidated by things he did, he said, “‘No you weren’t.’ He was remaking my reality.”
Rachel described the conversation as going “round and round.” Finally the pastor said, “Have you told anyone else about this?” She recalled, “There was no correct answer. No, I don’t believe gossip is helpful to reconciliation.”
But she then realized with trepidation he knew that the Rachel problem “could just go away since no one else knew.”
Rachel recalls how deeply traumatic the experience was in both what he said and how he said it.
Ending in Isolation
Two days later, while taking her kids to school, she was once again summoned to his office. Her employment had been ended and an elder was there to tell her the next steps. She was presented with a severance agreement that included a statement on confidentiality, an NDA, and waiver of legal claims.
She said to the elder, “I need to bring it home.” He said, “Yes, you should have your husband read it over.”
Having packed up all her personal things, the elder led her out the front door and walked Rachel to her car. It was just a taste of the coming isolation Rachel would feel.
Dr. Judith Harmon says,
“The response of the community has a powerful influence on the ultimate resolution of the trauma. Restoration of the breach between the traumatized person and the community depends, first, upon public acknowledgment of the traumatic event and, second, upon some form of community action. Once it is publicly recognized that a person has been harmed, the community must take action to assign responsibility for the harm and to repair the injury.“
Judith Herman MD – Trauma and Recovery (p. 104)
In Rachel’s case, the forces of the workplace were mustered against her. Pastor Jack told the staff and elders not to speak to Rachel following her firing.
Rachel sorrowfully said, “There are people who won’t look me in the eye. I haven’t done anything to them. How did they get so brain washed?”
Rachel told me, “I want a lobotomy so I can start over with people in the church.” She loves the people, but following her firing, only a couple reached out to her. The “response of the community” indeed has a powerful influence and she has been deeply hurt by their apparent complicity in the attacks by Pastor Jack.
Some Encouragement
There have been very small pockets of encouragement. She explained that one elder was supportive. One other elder gave Pastor Jack pushback saying it was crazy that an elder couldn’t talk to her.
The elder ended up being booted from the church elder board. According to Rachel, what this elder experienced was even worse than what she had experienced. The treatment of this elder was quite public and he had been at the church for many years.
Another staff member reached out to her saying, “I feel like I’m disobeying Pastor Jack but need to hear your voice.” Again, Rachel explained that this woman and another who texted her were “iced out” by the pastor following their apparent disobedience of him.
The Abuse Ramps Up
Rachel said it “seemed so wrong that they let him get away with the retaliatory actions.” She explained, “I don’t need my job back, but somebody needs to fix this guy.”
So, she called the Clerk of the Elder board, but he wouldn’t call back.
Being apparently “iced out,” Rachel’s next step was to seek accountability at both the church and state levels. It was clear to her the pastor had both broken labor laws and biblical church leadership principles. Her attempts to involve the local denominational leadership resulted in further betrayal as they probed her for details related to the case and secretly shared the information with the pastor so he could control the emerging narrative. What she found was that the regional board protects its own.
Each member with whom she spoke went immediately to Pastor Jack and the board ended up siding with the pastor. She said, “They were way more willing to betray her trust than hurt Pastor Jack.”
After hiring a lawyer, church records including emails and her personnel file were attained. She was deeply grieved that Pastor Jack had all along been “trashing her work or her subordinates.” Emails that were sent back and forth between Pastor Jack and an elder were “very negative and critical.”
She had never heard a thing.
It also became apparent to Rachel that Pastor Jack had never suggested to the elders that she be fired until she had made her complaints about his behavior. The Personnel Committee testified they had never been informed by the pastor that he wanted to take steps to fire her until after she complained.
Rachel sent formal “charges” to the regional board that included 40 witnesses. The board interviewed several “witnesses,” none of whom were on Rachel’s list.
The charges made their way to the denomination’s “supreme court” where a verdict by a three-man sub-committee determined the case “is a human resources matter, and as such, according to the [denomination’s] Constitution, belongs in the civil courts.”
In their ruling conspicuously absent are the mentions of either the pastor’s name or God’s.
Reading it, I had to scratch my head. I even asked a couple individuals if they thought it appropriate for church boards to consider a pastor’s immoral treatment of a staff member a “civil” matter.
Of course, everyone I asked was astounded.
The Fallout
It isn’t over with but civil authorities have found evidence of labor impropriety. The church boards on the other hand have refused to recognize their apparent corruption.
The Clerk of the church board has left the church.
All of the worship team has left.
The people in Rachel’s old Bible Study group have left the church.
One of her sons has switched denominations in disappointment and anger.
Rachel continues to suffer from nightmares. She fears seeing the pastor on the street or in the store. She has been isolated from her community, a community she grew up in and has served for years.
Yet, Rachel has seen “God’s hand from beginning to end.”
She hopes that her pursuing justice tenaciously will provide flags for others in the future. Pastor Jack may not be held accountable now, but she hopes that as leaders look back and see the litter of broken relationships behind the pastor, there will be accountability in the future.
When church leadership fails to act with integrity and justice, there will always be fallout that harms the Name of Christ. Over and over we see God’s people and their children leaving the church.
Depression. Anger. Bitterness.
This is not the way it is supposed to be. And it need not be.
One of the most hideous beliefs crushing abuse survivors within our Christian communities is that the reporting of abusive leadership in the home or workplace is gossip or slander.
It is understandable that the church has strong views of gossip and slander upon the first reading of passages such as Proverbs 11:13, 16:28, and 2nd Corinthians 12:20. In those passages, there are very strong words for those who “whisper” and “slander.”
Both gossip and slander are wicked uses of our tongues.
Throwing in Jesus’ process for dealing with relational conflict (Matthew 18), there has been a concerted effort to keep reports of abuse quiet in the church. In Matthew 18 the Christian is called to keep the knowledge of a brother’s sin to himself until he has confronted that brother and given him a chance to repent.
Only then, may the circle of those in the know begin to widen. We are understandably concerned that a brother or sister’s good name not be destroyed for sins with which we all struggle.
Therefore, survivor’s reports of abuse to others have often been viewed as gossip, and worse, slander by many in the church. Those who have suffered under abuse have been isolated and shamed as they have shared their story seeking help from others who may be in a position to bring them aid.
However, the church’s understanding and teaching on gossip has failed to bring the whole of Scripture into the fray and the church has relied on a simplistic and incomplete exegesis of God’s Word.
The Terms
Gossip: The term gossip in Greek means “to whisper” and “slander.” ψιθυρισμός [psithyrismos] is found in two places in the New Testament – the 2nd Corinthians passage noted above and Romans 1:29.
The Old Testament (Hebrew) version is דִּבָּה [ḏiḇâ] and it means “defaming, evil report, infamy, slander.”
One commentator’s definition:
My way of summarizing the Bible’s teaching on this topic is to say that the sin of gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart.
Theologians are careful to note that gossip can be true or false. Even a true report to others of someone’s evil act can be gossip, but as Mitchell notes, there needs to be evil intent behind the sharing of it (out of a bad heart). The gossip must be seeking some kind of personal satisfaction and seeking to bring another person down unnecessarily.
Slander: The term slander in Greek means “evil report.” δυσφημία [dysphēmia] means “defamation” and “the action of one who uses disgraceful language.” Another term translated slander, βλασφημία [blasphēmia] means “blasphemy, evil speaking, railing.”
Oxford’s Dictionary defines slander as:
the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation.
Note that at the root of these terms (gossip and slander) is the sense of speaking badly with bad motives of another person and/or trashing someone’s good name without reason (defaming). Slander is more specifically saying something evil about someone that is not true and thereby injuring their “good name.”
The Context
As we consider the biblical context of the use of these terms, you will notice some things that are particularly helpful as we consider abuse.
The term that is translated by some as “gossip” [ḏiḇâ] in the Old Testament is found in a few places, but rarely in that translation.
The only place in the OT that ḏiḇâ is translated “gossip” in the English Standard Version is in Ezekiel 36:3. There, it is the enemies of God’s people who are speaking evil of Jerusalem and God assures them He is going to judge them.
In Numbers 13, the spies have returned from searching out the “Promised Land.” Their description, which was negative despite the land being good and a gift from the Lord, was called a “report,” which is the same word translated “gossip” in Ezekiel 36:3. They spoke evil of that which was good.
In Psalm 31, David is crying out to the Lord because of the abuse he is receiving from his enemies. He says,
For I hear the whispering of many— terror on every side!— as they scheme together against me, as they plot to take my life.
Psalms 31:13 (ESV)
The term, “whispering” is the translation of ḏiḇâ in this passage. These are evil, wicked people seeking King David’s demise.
If we broaden the search of terms in the Old Testament, slander is often used similarily to gossip. It is evident that the context of these terms is speaking evil of those who are without guilt in regards to the slanderer’s claims.
It is lying.
It is hatred.
It is wicked speach.
Do You Get the Idea?
Treating with contempt and shame those who are reporting abuse is missing the point completely.
Defaming an abuser? He has chosen to ruin his name already. Slandering means to call someone evil who is good. That is quite the opposite of what reporting abuse is all about.
Reporting abuse is calling evil that which is evil.
Can you imagine keeping silent while a gunman murdered at will because you didn’t want to damage his name?
The abuser is a liar. The abuser is full of hatred and deception. He is a murderer in his heart as Jesus describes in Matthew 5:21-26. Except, unlike most of us, he is not repentant of his sin and will continually justify and defend himself.
King David once again describes the abuser in Psalm 109:
Be not silent, O God of my praise! 2 For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. 3 They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. 4 In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. 5 So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.
Psalm 109:1-5 (ESV)
Reporting abuse is calling evil, evil. What is the wrong response to reports of abuse?
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!
Isaiah 5:20 (ESV)
Woe to those who would ignore or shame the victim of abuse, calling good (the report) evil and the evil (abuse) good.
Calling out abuse is not giving an abuser a bad name. It is simply naming their name! They are oppressive and evil and according to the rest of God’s Word are supposed to be called out and held accountable (Ps. 109:6, Matt. 18:17).
Before you begin to criticize and shame a victim of abuse as they report to others the evil that has been done to them, please consider the whole of Scripture and instead give them the help and encouragement the Lord wants you to give them.
If you have been discipled as I have you might be tempted to believe grace means cutting all people some slack.
Forgive and forget.
Don’t judge.
Remember we are all sinners.
I use the term “tempted” quite intentionally. Because it is not biblical.
At least, not always.
There are actually times when grace (which should never be absent from our hearts or actions) means to pronounce judgment and bring accountability rather than cut them slack. But, there is a distinction in Scripture upon whom those judgments are made.
Spreading Like a Tree
I have seen a wicked, ruthless man, spreading himself like a green laurel tree. 36 But he passed away, and behold, he was no more; though I sought him, he could not be found. 37 Mark the blameless and behold the upright, for there is a future for the man of peace. 38 But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed; the future of the wicked shall be cut off.
Psalm 37:35-38 (ESV)
We need to look at some of the words that the psalmist, King David, used.
עָרִיץ (‘ârîyṣ), which is the Hebrew word “ruthless” in the psalm, means “powerful or tyrannical.” Strongs Dictionary goes on to say it means “mighty, oppressor, in great power, strong, terrible, violent.”
Do you get the idea? This is why in abuse language “oppression” and “oppressor” are used frequently. David is speaking of a particularly wicked individual. This is someone who is particularly destructive of other people.
We know this in part because other places in Scripture tell us to that when we confront brothers, we can expect a certain amount of humility and willingness to see their sin and repent (Prov. 12:1, Rev. 3:19).
But when Scripture talks about oppressors, generally there is no such expectation and in fact, often the Bible authors tell us to stay clear of them because they are too dangerous to confront or not worth confronting (see Prov. 9:8, 22:24, Matt. 7:6).
Hopelessness
King David in this psalm notes the hopelessness that seems to be the lot of many abuse victims. The ruthless man (oppressor) is like a green laurel tree. One commentary tells us the language refers to a “native tree” which in their interpretation means,
“The idea here is that a tree which thus remains in its own soil is more vigorous, and will attain to a larger growth, than one which is transplanted; and thus the figure becomes an emblem of a prosperous and mighty man. “
Barnes Notes on the Bible
This is part of crushing effects of abuse. The oppressor seems unstoppable. He is large in the victim’s eyes and often he is large in the community’s eyes. He is prospering while the victim shrinks and suffers psychological, spiritual, and physical harm.
Hopefulness
But David does not stop with verse 35. He goes on to say they will be destroyed. In both verse 36 and 38 there is evident judgment and accountability for the oppressor. He is “no more,” “destroyed,” and “cut off.”
And the one of peace – the victim is clearly implied – will have a future. It is like they will instead “spread like a tree.”
I don’t think I have ever talked to a victim of leadership abuse who has not at some point under the crushing weight of abuse felt he or she was without a future. They feel like they have been axed. Cut down and burned up . . . while their oppressor spreads like a tree.
They have maybe tried confronting their boss, manager, or pastor to no avail. They have maybe sought help from HR, the board of directors, the senior pastor, a church elder, or the CEO to no avail.
In fact, often they have received more abuse either by the oppressor or by the foolish ones to whom they reported who ended up being complicit as they failed to support the victim.
The oppressor became large in the eyes of those who should have been helpful.
It’s Really Real
But, the assurance that David gives is real. It may not come about as we hope or envision. But, it is real. There is a future for those who are abused.
God is not mocked by the scoffer (Prov. 9:8).
And it is God’s grace that brings that oppressor down. We ask that the ruthless be destroyed (Ps. 55) not because we lack grace, but that we wish grace to reach the oppressed. The abused. The vulnerable.
Because this is to what we, as God’s people, are called (Isaiah 58:6).
There is often a significant difference between the short-term and the long-term.
We see our oppressors (as the Bible calls them) winning the battle. Their violence goes unpunished. Their manipulation continues to create more supporters and greater isolation.
They arrogantly assume they have the upper hand. And in the short-term, they do.
Church leadership says, “It’s her story against his.”
Business leadership says, “He just doesn’t buy into our vision.”
The organization’s board says, “He is tough, but he gets the job done.”
None of them realize the damage that is being done. And the abuser continues to win the day.
So said Asaph in Psalm 73. The song writer gives a 3000 year old account of the sufferings of those under abuse in the home, workplace, and organization. He is frustrated by the evil he sees and the seeming hopelessness he finds to be his daily existence.
For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind. Therefore pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment. Their eyes swell out through fatness; their hearts overflow with follies. They scoff and speak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression. They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue struts through the earth. Therefore his people turn back to them, and find no fault in them.
Psalm 73:3-10
But Asaph, like so many survivors of abuse, came to a place when clarity swept him up into the heavenlies.
Asaph sings,
But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors! Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.
Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.
Psalm 73:17-20, 23-26, 28
Asaph entered the sanctuary. We may have that moment in a worship service, or mountain hike, or moment of quiet meditation.
It is in that moment that the long-term saves us from the short-term.
No matter what others say. No matter the attitude of a pastor, elder, or CEO. No matter the short-sighted thinking of a board president. No matter a friend’s ignorance.
The LORD is with the oppressed. He is not with the abuser. They are destroyed in a moment.
The LORD is my strength. No opinion of man. No pride of position.
The LORD is my Refuge.
Do you need some help and encouragement? Go to our Resources page.
If I didn’t know the whole story, I would side with the people of Israel (Korah’s group) as they stood up against Moses and Aaron:
“You have gone too far! For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the LORD?”
Numbers 16:3
This statement by “Korah and all his company” in the wilderness following the Exodus from Egypt is a beautiful summary of toxic leadership. Toxic leaders assume a place of prominence (exalt themselves) and refuse to acknowledge the value of their subordinates (all in the congregation are holy).
However, Korah’s analysis of Moses’ leadership was wanting.
Moses was specifically chosen by God to lead His people out of Egypt and into the promised land. God had prepared a man who was deeply driven by justice to be the shepherd of Israel. Moses had stood up against multiple oppressors as a young man, putting even his life at risk (see Exodus 2).
He looked out for the vulnerable. Moses protected those who were forgotten in his society – slaves and women.
God MADE Moses into the leader of Israel.
A False Charge
So, what brought on the complaints and accusations of Korah and his mob?
The Lord had graciously led the people of Israel (by Moses’ hand) to the border of the promised land. It was a land “flowing with milk and honey.” A good land that He was freely giving them.
And they had rebelled against the Lord.
They had refused to go into the land out of fear. The Lord had led them by many miraculous signs – many of which established the fact that Moses was God’s chosen leader – and yet they still had no faith that God would safely bring them into the land.
So, the Lord refuses to lead them into the land after they made an act of contrition for their disobedience and failure of faith.
That brings us to “Korah’s rebellion” in Numbers 16.
His words are in fact hollow and foolish. And we know this not only because over and over the Lord has made clear that His chosen leader is Moses, but because Moses has a heart of love and protection for his vulnerable followers.
When the people had rebelled against the Lord at the entryway to the promised land, He said to Moses,
“How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them? I will strike them with the pestilence and disinherit them, and I will make of you a nation greater and mightier than they.”
Numbers 14:11-12 (ESV)
God had continually cared for them and they refused Him. Their judgment was sure. So, God promised Moses that He would create a new nation who would follow Moses and He would destroy the current Israel for their failure to follow him.
What does Moses do? Did he say, “Sounds great to me. I am sick of their bellyaching, myself. Give me a people who will bow and submit to me!” No.
But Moses said to the LORD, “Then the Egyptians will hear of it, for you brought up this people in your might from among them, 14 and they will tell the inhabitants of this land. They have heard that you, O LORD, are in the midst of this people. For you, O LORD, are seen face to face, and your cloud stands over them and you go before them, in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night. 15 Now if you kill this people as one man, then the nations who have heard your fame will say, 16 ‘It is because the LORD was not able to bring this people into the land that he swore to give to them that he has killed them in the wilderness.’ 17 And now, please let the power of the Lord be great as you have promised, saying, 18 ‘The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.’ 19 Please pardon the iniquity of this people, according to the greatness of your steadfast love, just as you have forgiven this people, from Egypt until now.”
Numbers 14:13-19 (ESV)
True Leadership
Moses stands between the Lord and His people.
He seeks their pardon. He desires to assuage the Lord’s anger at his rebellious people. And Moses seeks the glory of God among the nations.
This is true leadership.
Moses should have the respect and honor of his subordinates because he continually proves that he is faithful to them and to their God. He is a shepherd who does not turn and run from danger, but seeks to protect and guide (John 10).
But Moses is a man and he fails at times. In fact, the Lord holds him accountable for his own lack of faith and refuses him entry to the promised land later (Deuteronomy 34:4). Moses then humbles himself.
Moses is a leader to emulate.
Then There Are Abusive Leaders
When a leader is abusive of his authority, what then?
Is a church leader, by nature of the office he holds, the “Lord’s anointed” as David calls King Saul in 2 Samuel 1:14? Should he be obeyed no matter what?
2 Samuel 1 seems a strange Scripture to turn into a principle and apply to church leaders today. And yet, I hear this over and over as a criticism of those who have stood against a pastor or Christian leader. By calling out a church leader due to his misuse of spiritual leadership, these church members are shamed for “touching the Lord’s anointed.”
When a leader has “hands laid upon him” – “ordained” – there is an anointing that has taken place. As the “Book of Church Order” in one denomination states,
“Ordination is the authoritative admission of one duly called to an office in the Church of God, accompanied with prayer and the laying on of hands, to which it is proper to add the giving of the right hand of fellowship.”
Book of Church Order – Presbyterian Church in America
Though he has been set apart for work as a pastor in the church, by those same standards he
“should possess a competency of human learning and be blameless in life, sound in the faith and apt to teach. He should exhibit a sobriety and holiness of life becoming the Gospel. He should rule his own house well and should have a good report of them that are outside the Church.”
BCO
There are high standards for pastors. And we are called to submit to them by the writer of Hebrews:
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Hebrews 13:17 (ESV)
The New Testament Leader
Though these instructions provide a high view of church leaders, there is no sense in the New Testament church that leaders cannot be challenged or “touched” as if they are somehow untouchable in their position of authority in the church.
Church leaders’ lives are to be such that they can be emulated by congregant members, not unchallenged.
Paul, speaking of his Apostleship, says to the Corinthian church:
“This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.”
1 Corinthians 4:1-2 (ESV)
Verse one points to the high position Apostles have (not speaking of pastors) as “stewards of the mysteries of God.” But verse two notes the responsibility even the greater (Apostles) have for faithfulness. Without that faithful living, even the Apostles would stand accountable. It is all the more so for pastors in Christ’s church who are not called “stewards of the mysteries of God” anywhere in the New Testament.
This principle of authority (do not touch) comes more from Old Testament Israel. In that context, leaders often provided spiritual and political leadership (Moses, Joshua, the Judges, David and Saul). But, that is not the case in the New Testament church. The “theocracy” of the old has passed away (and in fact, there is a clear shift in how the church is to now engage the world around them).
Church leaders do not have the same authority over the lives of their sheep as Moses did. He was given the law “face to face” by the Lord. Other leaders were given the Word directly to pass on to God’s people, who in turn were to believe and follow the leader appointed by the Lord.
However, a New Testament church leader’s spiritual authority only goes so far because all of God’s people are “priests” (Revelation 1:5). And it should be obvious that they have no political authority being that there is no longer a nation that is a “church” as Israel was (nor is there a desire on God’s part that there be one found in the New Testament).
Whereas, leaders in the Old, both spiritual (priests) and political (kings) were God’s mouthpieces to His people, the New Testament saint (believer) has the Word of God written and available to all and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to illuminate.
Hold Them Accountable
Yes, we submit to our church leaders. Yes, we respect and honor our leaders. Yes, we listen to them.
But, we also hold them accountable to teach rightly and to live rightly.
Please do not use the line, “Do not touch the Lord’s anointed” again in reference to a church pastor. Particularly when his life of abusive leadership has disqualified him from that leadership.
Give your church leader respect and accountability.
One of the hardest things for someone to hear when going through a particularly difficult trial is, “Consider it joy! It will make you stronger.”
Yes, the Bible tells me so. But it so often seems so callous for someone to remind me of it. There might even be a smile that goes with it that makes me angry.
Those who are acting as counselors and advocates for abuse survivors have likely struggled with this issue. We want to encourage our clients and friends to rightful thinking which we know will lead to greater peace. We want them to see the good that can come from the trial that they may have a sense of peace in it.
And as we share these thoughts with them, we find that they shrink into a shell or become angry or walk away, never to return.
It just isn’t that simple to slather a verse on a victim’s pain. Have you noticed that taking one verse from the Bible is simple until you practice good exegesis and consider all those other verses that complicate things?
The Goal
First, I want to do some of that work on James 1:2-5 where the Lord tells us that the “testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” That is the reason why James says one verse before, “Count it all joy . . . when you meet trials of various kinds.”
There is a goal to suffering – that we be “perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” That’s a pretty good trade off. That is what trials are intended to produce in us. And that is why James tells us to “count it all joy.”
Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible helpfully says, “Not that these afflictions were joyous in themselves, but in their circumstances, effects, and consequences.”
The goal is joyous.
It is not the trial that is joyous. The trial is not intended to make us happy. In fact, to be a trial it needs to do quite the opposite. It creates hurt, disappointment, maybe confusion, and frustration. That is why it is called a trial. It challenges how we view our lives.
It causes us to take stock of our beliefs and desires and expectations.
I face trials when my boss or spouse is manipulating, demeaning, shaming, or blaming me. When my manager takes credit for the work I do. When my spouse tells me I am stupid, or my pastor preaches shamefully from the pulpit referring to something I said to him earlier in the week supposedly in confidence.
I am not expected to take joy from the trial. And so, we must be careful to distinguish between expecting someone to be joyful about the trial, rather than taking joy in the knowledge of the outcome.
Who among us knows what is God’s specific purpose for another man’s trial? Who can with confidence give that kind of judgment.
God does not always show His hand immediately or within the trial itself. At times it is mysterious. Consider Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. Paul has some knowledge – it is there to keep him from being “conceited” – but why doesn’t God take it away? Paul begged that the Lord would do so, but He did not remove it by the time of Paul’s writing.
It is not my place to tell a victim why they are suffering. And then tell them, “Count it all joy!”
They will likely, though not necessarily, learn what the Lord is specifically teaching them. Give the Lord His room.
Weep
So, what do we do? What is the godly response?
We must be careful in our expectations for those who are suffering horribly from the abuse of a wicked individual – whether a boss, boyfriend, neighbor, or husband. In the midst of that suffering, jumping for joy neither makes sense nor generally happens.
This is a broken world, and a giddiness about that brokenness is never suggested in Scripture. Don’t expect your friend or counselee to be rejoicing in the way you think of rejoicing in the midst of their abuse. It is unreasonable and unlikely.
So, the first step in hearing of abuse of any kind is “weep with those who weep.”
The full verse in Romans says:
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
Romans 12:15-16 (ESV)
Humility. No conceit. No arrogance.
If you are counseling or advocating for a victim of leadership abuse (in the home or workplace), you need to humbly respond to their suffering. As they pass through the fire of trial, they need to be shown respect and their trial needs to be honored.
Weep with them. It is not a time of rejoicing when they face various trials.
But when the goal of that trial – their perfection and completion – is accomplished, it will be a time of rejoicing.
In the trial, it is a time of weeping and seeking the wisdom only God can give as James goes on to say:
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
James 1:5
Weep with them as they face the struggle. And seek wisdom as to how to respond to that trial with them.
Empathy
In essence, we are talking about being empathetic. No matter what foolish theologians say about empathy, Romans 12 is about empathy. God desires you to be empathetic . . . to appreciate and understand another man’s travail. And you are to weep with them when they weep.
In time, hopefully you can rejoice when they rejoice.
However, as you empathize with your friend, you may encourage them on a path to the point of considering it joy. As the “Barnes’ Notes on the Bible” says,
You are not to consider it as a punishment, a curse, or a calamity, but as a fit subject of felicitation.
Barnes’ Notes on the Bible
When facing abuse, many victims feel that they are cursed. They may think they are being punished by the Lord much like many of the Psalmists.
But abuse is never the result of the victim’s actions. It is because the abuser has an unrepentant heart. He is sick in sin. It is HIS fault, not the victim’s.
So, encouraging the victim to rest in Jesus’s loving arms, not condemnation of any kind, is the godly response to their despair.
Advocates can list story after story of the survivors of abuse testifying to the shame that have been heaped upon them. They have been trained by their abusers, particularly if their abuser was a Christian leader, to think of themselves as unworthy of Jesus’s love and affection.
You do not criticize them for feeling cursed or angry at God. You share with them the love that God has for them . . . telling them over and over they are a child of the Heavenly Father, the Ruler of Heaven and Earth.
Those are two very different things. One is heaping more shame on them for feeling the way they do: How dare you feel that way. One is sharing the reason they need have no shame.
Consider it Joy! Yes, the Bible tells me so. But there is a time for weeping for and mourning what is lost. There is time for the Lord to make Himself known and felt by victims of abusive leadership.
