Category Archives: Liberty University

Imaging Leadership: When Image is More Important Than Anything

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One of the surest ways to kill an organization is to be driven by image.

One of the surest ways to identify a toxic leader is to find one driven by image.

The Bible is repleat with examples and the modern business and Christian organization world is full of them. It is a huge temptation for any organization that feels more dependent on donor funds than God.

Only in the Christian organization it is spun as “being an example for Christ.”

In other words, truth does not really matter. What really matters is if appearances are kept up for the public. Then Christ is glorified.

And it just so happens, the money flows better that way. Contributions roll in unabated.

But, Jesus never told his people to fake it until you make it. In fact, He most commonly called those who do hypocrites and that was not a positive assessment of their spiritual state (Matthew 6).

Saul and Image

King Saul reigned in Israel approximately 1021–1000 BC. He was their first king, which is a story in itself (not to be discussed here).

At one point he was told by the prophet Samuel to attack Amalek. He did as commanded by the Lord. But, though being told to destroy everyone and everything, Saul spared the king and held onto the best of the sheep and oxen.

Samuel came to Saul having been told by the Lord, “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments.” (1 Sam. 15:10)

As Samuel confronted him, Saul immediately began shifting the blame to the people. Samuel told him the Lord was stripping him of his kingship. Saul responded,

“I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the LORD your God.” (1 Samuel 15:30 (ESV))

“I have sinned.” Sounds like he got it right. But listen to those words following.

“Honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel. . .” His image is of greatest importance here. His confession is only a ploy to please the prophet. His desire for honor far outweighs his relationship with the Lord.

Samuel seems to think so as well.

He tells Saul that he will not return with him and walks away. However, Saul won’t stand for it and grabs the prophet’s robe, tearing it. Samuel in turn uses Saul’s disrespectful action as a metaphor and tells Saul that God is tearing his kingdom away from him just as he tore Samuel’s robe.

And then Samuel returns with Saul and finishes the job Saul was supposed to do.

Outward Appearances

Saul is a good (evil) example of the image-driven pastor, organizational leader, or business CEO. The Lord does not look on outward appearances (2 Cor. 5:12) and you will never get away with being driven by an image rather than the real deal (1 Sam. 16:7). God sees through that. God knows your character through and through.

You cannot put on airs with Jesus like you do for your adoring public.

Jesus will bring it to light at some point.

If you have the opportunity to join an organization that seems to have it all together and never airs its dirty laundry . . . run.

It is unhealthy and hypocritical.

If you have the opportunity to join an organization that seems to have it all together and tells you all the ways that it does ministry better than anyone else . . . run.

It is unhealthy and they are lying.

We Will Crush You

When an organization is driven by image, you can be assured it will do anything to keep that image alive.

That means the leaders will lie about wrongdoing. They will crush dissent. They will refuse criticism . . . even constructive criticism. They will put on a facade for the donors.

On a side note, this is of what NDAs are made. NDAs are often intended to keep that image alive through silencing its victims while offering cold cash for the buyout.

I worked for a mission agency like this. I watched it in action. And I drank the Koolaid for several years. I am not above being sucked in.

My wife had to confront me (in her gracious way) following a missions conference when I came away all blustery about how our mission was so much better than all those other missions.

It was less than a year later that all that image crumbled before me and we left the mission beaten and bruised by the toxic leadership.

It is insidious. Don’t take part in it . . . it will kill you.

For helpful information on “impression management” by Wade Mullen:

Toxic Spillage: The Side-Effects of Following a Toxic Leader

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It is a great story. God’s Kingdom is expanding at an extraordinary rate. The church is loving God and neighbor and is growing like crazy.

But, Herod, the king, was doing what he could to please the Jews, rather than God. He had James killed and had Peter arrested and put in jail. Then the unusual happened.

Now when Herod was about to bring him out, on that very night, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries before the door were guarding the prison. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood next to him, and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him, saying, “Get up quickly.” And the chains fell off his hands. And the angel said to him, “Dress yourself and put on your sandals.” And he did so. And he said to him, “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me.” And he went out and followed him.

Acts 12:6-9 (ESV)

Wow.

Miraculously set free by Christ.

But then, we see how toxic leadership creates havoc for others besides their targets.

Now when day came, there was no little disturbance among the soldiers over what had become of Peter. And after Herod searched for him and did not find him, he examined the sentries and ordered that they should be put to death. Then [Peter] went down from Judea to Caesarea and spent time there.

Acts 12:18-19 (ESV)

Absolute Authority and Control

What strikes me about this story is not the miraculous intervention of the Lord on Peter’s and the church’s behalf—which is incredible—but the almost unnoticeable story of Herod’s employees—the guards of the jail.

When Peter was supernaturally saved from Herod’s prison, Herod held the guards accountable. Of course, this was normal practice for the day. The king would have to show that if the prison guards didn’t do their job there was the worst possible punishment coming—death. Surely, other guards would take notice and toe the line.

But, in this case it points to the wickedness of the leader rather than any sense of justice—even in Herod’s screwy world.

Herod needed to establish his absolute authority and control. The guards must die for their failure to keep Peter in prison, though Peter was unchained at no fault of their own.

Evil men impact the lives of others . . . even those who are not necessarily the intended targets of their evil.

The guards died for Herod’s sins.

In time, Herod gets his just due for his toxicity. [A few verses later Luke explains that Herod died a horrible death that is linked to God’s judgment]. But for now, it is those who were simply going about their job, doing what they could to provide for their families, whose lives are ended.

Toxic Spillage

If you work for a Christian organization (or other) that is ruled by a toxic leader, be aware. It will spill out and over you. It is one thing to work for a rotten leader who just doesn’t know how to lead well. We may even say his heart is in the right place. He just doesn’t make good decisions. And those failures impact those they rule.

But if you are working for a Ravi Zacharius, Jerry Falwell Jr., James McDonald, or Mark Driscoll the toxic spillage will drown you. What they do to John is likely in time to happen to you.

Just do a Google search on all the damage done to employees of these toxic leaders.

Chuck DeGroat notes, “They all bear trauma in their bodies and brains. Sleeplessness. Paranoia. Shame. Rage. Indecision. Depression. Anxiety. Suicidal thoughts.”1 This is the testimony of the traumatized over and over.

It isn’t pretty and suffering the “side-effects” of toxic leadership is not worth it.

For years, my family was treated with great kindness by the toxic leaders of our mission organization. We have often said, “We were the favored ones.” But, in time, we faced their wickedness just like others had.

John worked for a major international mission agency and thought he was good friends with the CEO. However, that didn’t stop the CEO from finally taking John’s office keys and requiring him to be out of his desk in short order for doing nothing other than giving some helpful recommendations.

I can guarantee it will happen to you as well unless you very intentionally become complicit in your leader’s evil.

You will be required to keep your head down. You will have to say “yes sir” to every demand no matter how unbiblical. You will be required to keep your mouth shut when unethical (and maybe illegal) practices come to your attention.

I can promise you, it is not God’s calling for you to grovel under such leaders.

And, do not believe for a moment you will escape their onslaught even if you do take the knee.

NOTES

Photo used for graphic by Ivan Bandura.

1 Chuck DeGroat, “Narcissism Is Not a Leadership Style,” accessed February 10, 2020, https://chuckdegroat.net/2020/02/.

The Self-Control of the Mean

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In James’ first chapter of his epistle to the “twelve tribes of the dispersion,” he takes abusive people to task. Maybe you have never noticed this before. Often, a passage in scripture comes alive once you experience something of it.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger… 

James 1:19

We can all relate to these verses as we go about our selfish days. We can often be very quick to speak and quite speedy at becoming angry. Some of us really love to hear ourselves talk rather than hear others and their ideas and struggles.

Abusive leaders are often described as failing at verse 19. However, a strange thing about abusers is that rarely are they “out of control.” We may think that they are quick to become angry. Outwardly this is how it appears as they assault their victims. They seem out of control of their emotions.

However, abusive people are often exceedingly good at controlling their anger and words. It is because of that self-control that those who are not the targets of their violent speech are often surprised by accusations that so-and-so is abusive. These bystanders have only observed the abuser’s self-control and even kindness. “He isn’t abusive. He is one of the nicest guys I know!”

For a number of years, the abusive leaders of our organization held their tongues and were very kind to my family. We enjoyed vacations and special dinners with them and their public praise. However, others shared their horror stories of deceit, harshness, and authoritarian leadership experiences with us.

We would, in quiet and calming tones, pass on our wisdom: “The leaders are sinners just like us and will say mean things. Just give them grace.” We figured the treatment these victims received was due to their poor relational skills.

Then the leaders’ tongues were turned on us. Lies. Angry outbursts. Authoritarian orders out of the blue.

Suddenly, we understood what others had been saying for years.

Unhelpful Bystanders

This is the difficulty. Those who can stand up and support others suffering abusive leadership in the home or workplace do not have a clue because the abuser controls themselves with those with whom they need to control themselves.

In corporations or organizations abusive mid-managers will suck up to their bosses while making life nearly hell for their subordinates. Because, they know how to control their anger and tongues. These abusive individuals need to put on a good face for those upline in management. Then they can turn their withering tongues on those under them.

As a friend and I were discussing lately, this is why many make the climb up the ladder of organizations that are supposed to be “imaging” Jesus’ life. The church just shakes its head at the Mark Driscolls, Jerry Falwell Jrs., and Bill Heibels of this world. “How did they get so far up the ladder?”

Because they knew when to blow and when to be kind. They knew when to dismember and when to charm.

When that charming, well-spoken, talented leader is accused of abusive tactics with his subordinates, don’t be surprised. Hear the stories and do what you can to bring accountability.

All Things for Good: Beauty from Ashes

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There is that sense that good overcomes evil (Rom. 12:21).

Good overcomes evil when we respond to wickedness with godliness as Paul says in Romans. Or by apologizing and seeking forgiveness after our own slips into the perpetration of evil.

It is not uncommon to hear people speak of the good that has come from a leader even though he or she is toxic. In fact, a friend and I were talking just this morning about Ravi’s giftedness despite his deep wickedness.

There may be at least two reasons for talking about “all the good they did” in these circumstances:

  • The leader may have problems in this area but he has been so effective in other areas. “He is a talented guy, after all.” We just feel we need to point out his good works.
  • Or, someone may pull the sovereignty card.

I have written of the giftedness of toxic leaders before. It can be a distraction to the destruction that is caused by a leader’s abusive management.

Though they may be gifted in exceptional ways, their leadership will, in the end, bring hurt and suffering to the organization; often, destroying beyond repair as has been evident in the Ravi Zacharias ministry.

See this article

The Sovereignty Card

However, there are times when we can see where the wickedness of man has failed to overcome God’s good work. We see God using Pharaoh in the Old Testament to glorify Him as God’s power and majesty is on full display in saving the Israelites from this deeply evil man.

God has used evil over and over in His creation to bring about His good. He even makes this promise to the believer:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

We can see where, as a person suffers the wickedness of a toxic leader at home or in the workplace, there are good things that come from it in the believer’s life. The victim may be driven out and end up in a job that is much better. He may grow in his ability to be self-differentiated. And, as certainly was the case for my family, survivors of toxic leadership may become much more empathetic to the pain of others in similar situations. They in turn minister to others in similar situations as Paul says:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV)

Careful With Your Line-Drawing

However, I would suggest we must be careful to draw clear lines from wickedness to the good that comes from it when we have opportunities to counsel a survivor of abusiveness.

Recently, I was reading a book by a popular author. What put an end to my reading his book was a comment about slavery.

He noted that many slaves brought to the United States were purchased from African slave owners. The important lesson he noted was that “thank God [the Africans] sold them to the Westerners and not the Arabs!”

I would imagine he saw that as God’s good sovereignty at work. Though they were slaves, they were “in such a better place.”

I would suggest that is both insensitive and unbiblical to draw that line. The wickedness of slavery deserves no rosie coloring.

But this kind of statement is often made to “encourage” those who are suffering under abuse. “Thank God He is doing this really great work in your life. You would not have enjoyed this blessing had it not been for your wicked step-mother.”

To the victim of abusive leadership it appears to give an excuse for the toxic behavior. It often says to the abuse survivor, “God is doing a good work in you, so you should buck up and put up with the abuse,” though that may not be the intent.

Who Draws Those Lines?

I would suggest we allow those who are suffering to draw those lines.

Like Job’s counselors, we can find ourselves under the displeasing eye of the Lord for drawing those lines from suffering to this or that purpose. In his soon to be released book, “Suffering Wisely and Well” Old Testament Hebrew scholar Eric Ortland notes that where normal sacrifices would include one animal, Job’s friends were required to provide 14. The friends had sought to point Job to all the reasons his suffering was being inflicted by the Lord.

The LORD never provided a “reason” and we should be careful in suggesting one. Even when it might seem clear to us, we may be way off the mark and only heaping condemnation or expectation on the victim that is not ours to give.

So, I would rather suggest:

Pray for them to see God’s sovereignty at work. Pray that the Lord will show His merciful hand in their lives. Pray that the Lord will bring beauty from the ashes as Isaiah prophecies.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes…

Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)

It will be part of their healing process. You do not need to draw those lines for those who are suffering. Weep with those who weep. Allow the Lord’s Holy Spirit to bring these things to mind.

All oppressive behavior is a great wickedness in God’s eyes. He makes this clear throughout scripture. He does not give excuse. Nor should we. Especially not to those who are suffering.

Rather point out that they do not deserve the evil treatment they are receiving. The Lord cares deeply for the oppressed (Psalm 9:9).

God’s heart is that we comfort, not draw lines.

Poor Judges: Problems in Presbytery

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It is hit or miss when it comes to finding justice and healing in the church or Christian organization. Just as sexual abuse cases in our civil courts rarely bring convictions, so our church “courts” and organizational boardrooms rarely bring justice to targets of church leadership abuse in its many forms.

This is not the picture we hope for of a redeemed community caring for the oppressed and seeking the Kingdom of God to reign in all the earth by Jesus’ example.

I have not written often of public cases, usually interviewing survivors anonymously. However, a recent case within the Presbyterian Church in America has garnered some unfortunate but needed attention. Charges were brought against a PCA minister for sexual abuse and harassment in a mid-western presbytery.

The public statements made by both the church court and the woman who brought the charges, make it evident that the church has deeply failed.

But it is not over yet. Because of the accuser’s incredible courage, the case is once again before the presbytery. I am amazed that she would continue to work with the church despite having been put down by them.

Many will believe that the pastor must be innocent if he was judged innocent by a church court. But the evidence brought by at least 10 women is incontrovertable if you understand abuse, particularly leadership abuse. The pastor clearly used his position to “groom” these women and exert his position of power to take advantage of them.

However, those who have not studied abuse are unlikely to recognize the signs and therefore give a pass to guilty pastors. Most of us who work in this area were in those shoes at one time. We didn’t understand abuse, nor did we name it and claim it.

Abuse is wicked and repentance should be forthcoming upon confrontation.

When blame shifting and justification are the response, a pastor is not fit to lead according to every passage in scripture that gives qualifications. [1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:5-9] I understand that God is gracious and He calls His people to mimic his mercy—Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful as Jesus said in Luke 6:36 (ESV) —but, that mercy runs out when it is not received in repentance [see article].

This blog is not intended as a place for trying the pastor for his crimes but a call to action for the church:

In order to minister well in the cases of abusive leadership, the church must provide adequate professional help.

Churches and denominations must quit depending on their normally appointed courts to hear and try cases of leadership abuse (or any abuse for that matter). It is very apparent, as we observe many abuse cases in churches of every denomination, that the average member has little understanding of abuse and they will approach it like it is “normal” sin.

Abuse is not.

Abuse is the kind of sin of which the imprecatory Psalms speak [Psalms 5, 55, 83 and 137 are examples].

Abuse is the kind of sin that Paul calls out publicly. [2 Timothy 2:17, 4:14]

Though not rare, these are unusual situations in scripture and need to be understood as unusual in our Christian ministry.

Abuse is particularly destructive to its victims and must be brought to an end decisively. It must not be trifled with.

When a leader is accused of abusive actions or words, the church needs the help of those who have studied and understand abuse to sort through the sordid details. Much as the average church member knows little about engineering a bridge, so they know little of the psychology and behaviors of abuse.

Appoint knowledgeable committees and courts. Bring in professional help and listen to them.

I am praying for churches and denominations to take the lead of those who have done their due diligence like Lookout Mountain Presbyterian and Tates Creek Presbyterian Churches. These churches have shined in their bringing truth to light.

Join me in calling our churches to respond wisely and biblically to abuse in their midst.

Counterfeit Gods: The Power and the Glory

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“The Power and the Glory” is chapter five and it speaks insightfully to the problem of abusive leadership.

Pastor Keller begins the chapter discussing World War II and the Nazi “love of country” that bread a patriotism that “became demonic and destructive.”

Keller says, “What happened? Idolatry.”

Pearls and Swine is not about our politics. It is about Christian leadership. Though Keller does speak to political leadership in this chapter, in the end he focuses on simply the idolatry that is exhibited in leadership. It can be applied to any position of power and authority and should be.

Keller notes that Reinhold Niebuhr from the mid-twentieth century, wrote eloquantly about man’s desire to be god. Keller said,

“Rather than accept our finitude and dependence on God, we desperately seek ways to assure ourselves that we still have power over our own lives.”

Abusive leadership is about power over our own lives.

I would like, in this short blog, to pick apart one particular statement Keller makes:

“One of the great ironies of sin is that when human beings try to become more than human beings, to be as gods, they fall to become lower than human beings. To be your own god and live for your own glory and power leads to the most bestial and cruel kind of behavior. Pride makes you a predator, not a person.”

Page 121

The context of this statement is a discussion about the prophet Daniel and King Nebuchadnezzar.

The king had fascinating dreams and Daniel, a captive from Israel, was by God’s grace able to interpret his dreams. In Daniel 4, Nebuchadnezzar has had a dream about a tree that grew and “became strong, and its top reached to heaven, and it was visible to the end of the whole earth.”

The king went on to explain,

“a watcher, a holy one, came down from heaven. He proclaimed aloud and said thus: Chop down the tree and lop off its branches, strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit. Let the beasts flee from under it and the birds from its branches…Let his portion be with the beasts in the grass of the earth. Let his mind be changed from a man’s, and let a beast’s mind be given to him; and let seven periods of time pass over him.”

Daniel 4:13-16

Daniel warns Nebuchadnezzar that he is that tree and to “break off your sins by practicing righteousness, and your iniquities by showing mercy to the oppressed, that there may perhaps be a lengthening of your prosperity.”

Show mercy to the oppressed. Do not practice your power by authoritarianism and oppression. Seek the people’s good in the use of your power.

Nebuchadnezzar did not take Daniel’s advice but one year later, he was pridefully walking on the roof of his palace, high above his subjects and his great land, and he says, “Is not this great Babylon, which I have built by my mighty power as a royal residence and for the glory of my majesty?”

It says, while those words were still hanging on the wind, the Lord spoke to Nebuchadnezzar. The king would become like a beast in the field. Eating grass. His kingdom taken from him.

“When human beings try to become more than human beings, to be as gods, they fall to become lower than human beings.“

Entitlement does this.

Those who believe they are the most deserving. The most powerful. The most important.

They become like beasts. And they will act like beasts.

They will create a hell on earth for those over whom they have power.

Idolatry is fundamental to abusive authority. Leaders who consider themselves something rather than dependent on the Lord for everything they have, treat others with disdain and manipulation. They work very hard to retain their kingdom, doing whatever is necessary.

And often that is abusing those the Lord has called them to tenderly care for using the authority He has given them.

Instead, in their entitlement, they look over their vast kingdom and reason it was raised up by them. They will have to keep it in good stead. They will have to crush any dissent. They will have to protect the image of their kingdom.

Pride makes you a predator, not a person.

Humility, Like Oil On the Head

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We are all dependent. We long for satisfaction. We long for respect and love and relationship.

The “Sons of Korah” wrote Psalm 42 expressing the deep longing so many of us have. As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. The entire Psalm is an expression of dependency.

A good kind of dependency.

Not a dependency that results in suffering, pain, or rejection. But a dependency that will result in satisfaction and ultimate salvation. Where we might so often depend on a business leader, political leader, husband, wife, or friend, Psalm 42 points to a reliance on God we have and should have.

Real dependence on God results in salvation and praise. Its outcome is joy. Not sorrow or fear.

But dependence on self or other men result in broken promises and greater distrust. Though I depend upon my wife as my best friend, there are times when I drive her crazy with my clinging. That is as it should be. Only God can handle my dependency. In fact, He made me that way and from my very first parents in the Garden of Eden, He expected his created beings to depend on Him alone.

And He never wearies of it.

Dependence on God = Humility

Dependency on Christ has a real fringe benefit.

When our dependency is on Christ and not other people, we can also then be humble and responsive to critique. If we are dependent on their approval we become overly sensitive and either maddened by criticism or deeply hurt.

The humble man is likely to be saddened but changed. The arrogant is likely to be maddened and strike back.

Psalm 141:5 says,

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head;
let my head not refuse it.

David was a humble man. You can almost see his heart saying, “I hate this rebuke,” but he is working very hard to recognize it as the gift it is.

Leaders need this kind of heart. They need to see the criticism they receive as “kindness.” It is like “oil” for their head. Barnes Notes on the Bible says the rebuke “should be received as readily as that which contributed most to comely adorning and comfort.” This is how those of David’s time would understand oil being poured out on the head of an important person in a festival celebration.

Oil was healing. It was to be received with joy and as a gift.

Do You Hear Criticism?

How often do leaders hear and receive criticism? This is the hallmark of godly leadership because it is based on godly humility.

Collaboration is a way of working with colleagues that is characterized by cooperation, mutual respect, and shared goals. It involves sharing information, coordinating actions, discussing what’s working and what’s not, and perpetually seeking input and feedback.1

Amy Edmondson

Notice what Edmondson says? A team (collaboration) is always “discussing what’s working and what’s not.” They are always seeking “input and feedback.”

An autocratic, arrogant leader may be effective for a time. But he will fail in time because more heads are better than one. The leader that is dependent on his subordinates to make him feel good, smart, clever, and powerful is never a team player and will not build a ministry or product that seeks God’s glory.

But a leader who looks for and receives differing views as oil on his head will build a lasting legacy.

Do you serve under an autocrat or abusive leader? This lack of humility is a common sign that they are. And, it is unlikely they will ever provide a good and godly workplace.

It may be time to move on.

Are you unable to hear criticism? Do you find that you consistently say they are wrong or project the wrong on those who criticize. Do you seek ways to discredit your critic?

It’s time you get help.

Stories in African Mission

“My family of six arrived in Malawi, Africa in August of 2003 to a wonderfully hospitable group of fellow missionaries. I was not really prepared for what awaited us. Our family had not done any significant homework on Malawian life but were nonetheless excited to get started with it.“

What a wonderful book!  You have beautifully combined storytelling of your and your family’s journey and experiences with scripture, spiritual experiences, music, and observations of Malawian and Western cultures. It is a great reference for anyone working and living in Malawi or those who support programs in Malawi.

Jeanine Jackson
Former United States Ambassador to Malawi
State Department Leadership Consultant

As I read at times, I felt I was reading the travel log of a missionary tourist, the insights of a musical theorist, the confessions of a cultural imperialist, the wisdom of a cross-cultural missiologist, and the reflections of journalist investigating a mystery cult. [Dehnert] presents a childlike wonder as he speaks about strange and stranger things in a strange and beautiful land. It was great how he expressed his fears, weaknesses, and misconceptions as part of the path to a gradual awakening. Dehnert didn’t go to Malawi with an agenda and he loves people; I think that enabled him to learn so much. In the end the book comes across like a fun travel documentary with some sage-like wisdom thrown in.

Rev. Jay Stoms  
Missionary with National Christian Foundation
Stellenbosch, South Africa

NOTES:

1Edmondson, Amy C. (2012-03-16). Teaming: How Organizations Learn, Innovate, and Compete in the Knowledge Economy (Kindle Locations 1078-1080). Wiley. Kindle Edition.

The Fall of Empires and the Narcissist

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While researching and writing about toxic leadership over the last few years, I have often shared with anyone who would listen, “Toxic Leadership never ends well.” It is a disappointing and well-worn lesson.

As we watch current events unfold we are seeing the results of narcissism in bold and deeply disturbing colors. The short-term positive gains by a toxic leader, I would suggest, can never overcome the long-term devastation caused by their focus on self and the devaluation of people and relationships.

Scripture teaches this and life lived shows it.

Below is a portion of my research from a few years ago about narcissism.

Who Was Narcissist?

Langberg explains the name, “Narcissist” comes from the Greek mythological story of a young, handsome youth who had a “heart that was inaccessible to love.”[1]

One of his “rejected lovers” prayed that he be punished for his “lack of empathy.”[2] Nemesis, the god of retribution to whom she prayed, “caused Narcissist to see his reflection in the water and fall completely in love with himself.”[3]  As he was unable to access his reflection, he “died of unrequited love.”[4]

Narcissists and Leadership

It is common for narcissists to occupy leadership positions. According to Chamorro-Premuzic, “An impressive 15-year longitudinal study found that individuals with psychopathic and narcissistic characteristics gravitated towards the top of the organizational hierarchy.”[5]

Chandler and Fields explain,

“Narcissistic leaders may pass selection screening because they possess strengths such as the ability to present a vision in a charismatic fashion, inspire others with rhetoric, and thereby persuade others to follow.”[6]

There have been many studies on the Narcissistic Personality Disorder according to George Simon, author of the article, “Narcissism: Pathological Self-Love,” despite the American Psychiatric Association removing the disorder from the DSM-5.[7] He says, “Too many folks who know all too well how painful it is to live or deal with a narcissist” are seeking information on narcissism.

Simon goes on to say, “Because ours is the age of permissiveness and especially ‘entitlement,’ narcissism has flourished, and just about everyone has a story to tell about dealing with a narcissist.”[8]

Identifying Narcissists

Narcissistic individuals are described as “conceited, boastful or pretentious,” according to the Mayo Clinic.[9] Chamorro-Premuzic says narcissists have “unrealistic feelings of grandiosity, an inflated – though often unstable and insecure – sense of self-worth, and a selfish sense of entitlement coupled with little consideration for others.[10]

Oates defines empathy as “putting oneself in another person’s place and experiencing that person’s needs as primary,” and lacking this other-centeredness is a common characteristic of narcissism.[11]

Narcissists often “belittle or look down on people” they “perceive as inferior.”[12] “As a result . . . they naturally conclude they should come first: their needs (often lavish), their image, their success,” argue Chapman, White, and Myra.[13]

According to Chandler and Fields, “Narcissistic leaders . . . blame others for their failures.”[14] They “usually have no interest in self-insight or change.”[15]

Oates agrees, saying, “The capacity for self-evaluation and self-criticism is absent.”[16] Subordinates are simply “expected to provide blind support.”[17] If employees do not act in support of the narcissist, they become “increasingly expendable,” according to Oates.[18]

The Impact on Organizations

“The capricious nature of narcissistic leaders makes them prone to conduct negative management behaviors in order to maintain their own interests and authority, which deteriorates the perception of good relationship between employees and the organization and leads to negative responses from employees that reduce their job embeddedness (Ogunfowora, 2013; Haggard and Park, 2018; Mackey et al., 2018).”

Heli Wang, Runkai Jiao, and Feifei Li, “Research on the Effect of Narcissistic Leadership on Employee Job Embeddedness,” Frontiers in Psychology 13 (July 7, 2022): 927529, https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.927529.

According to Wang, et. al., employees of these businesses and organizations are not as committed to their jobs. In addition, research shows that there is greater turnover, sick leave, and family difficulties where a boss is toxic.

It is evident that narcissistic leadership do not bring about the goals of an organization no matter how talented that leader is. In the end, the organization will suffer poor performance by employees and less buy-in. A Christian organization’s witness to a watching world will in turn be diminished.

It behooves us to know the signs of a narcissist and not be drawn into his pathological self-love.

Notes

[1] Langberg, “Narcissism and The System It Breeds.”

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Ibid.

[5] Chamorro-Premuzic, “Why Bad Guys Win at Work.”

[6] Schyns and Hansbrough, When Leadership Goes Wrong, 106.

[7]  George K. Simon, Ph.D., “Narcissism: Pathological Self-Love,” CounsellingResource.com: Psychology, Therapy & Mental Health Resources, accessed March 29, 2016, http://counsellingresource.com/features/2014/10/06/pathological-self-love.

[8] Ibid.

[9] Mayo Clinic Staff, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” Mayo Clinic, November 18, 2014, accessed February 10, 2015, http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568.

[10] Chamorro-Premuzic, “Why Bad Guys Win at Work.”

[11] Oates, Behind the Masks, 45.

[12] Mayo Clinic Staff, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”

[13] Gary Chapman, Paul E. White, and Harold Myra, Rising Above a Toxic Workplace: Taking Care of Yourself in an Unhealthy Environment (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2014), 136.

[14] Schyns and Hansbrough, When Leadership Goes Wrong, 106.

[15] Arabi, “20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Use to Silence You.”

[16] Oates, Behind the Masks, 45.

[17] Schyns and Hansbrough, When Leadership Goes Wrong, 107.

[18] Oates, Behind the Masks, 50.

Liberty U: Not My Job

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We have had a pandemic, wildfires, drought, political fights, and all manner of mahem it seems over the past six months. Add to those the almost unbearable failure of Christian leaders right and left.

Each of these leaders have portrayed toxic leadership characteristics for some time. But, in each case, they have continued to be held up as gifted and powerful Christian witnesses to the world by the evangelical church.

Gifting should not be the only standard we bear for the support of Christian leaders.

Yet, the horrific sin of these gifted leaders is often overlooked by those who follow them. And, unfortunately, as Jean Lipman-Blumen notes,

“These intriguing leaders first charm but then manipulate, mistreat, undermine, and ultimately leave their followers worse off than they found them.” 1

We are worse off in the end. No matter their gifting.

The church cannot think that all those gifts can overcome toxic, arrogant, self-centered leadership. It will all end. And, it will end in hurt. This rule of life is not established by their followers but by the God Who created His world and continues to rule it.

Ahab said to Elijah, “Have you found me, O my enemy?” He answered, “I have found you, because you have sold yourself to do what is evil in the sight of the LORD. Behold, I will bring disaster upon you. I will utterly burn you up, and will cut off from Ahab every male, bond or free, in Israel. And I will make your house like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah, for the anger to which you have provoked me, and because you have made Israel to sin. And of Jezebel the LORD also said, The dogs shall eat Jezebel within the walls of Jezreel.’ Anyone belonging to Ahab who dies in the city the dogs shall eat, and anyone of his who dies in the open country the birds of the heavens shall eat.”

1 Kings 21:20-24 (ESV)

Pretty harsh. The leaders of God’s people have a great responsibility. It is why those who desire to lead are both encouraged that it is a noble desire and instructed to be noble [1 Tim. 3:1, James 3:1, 1 Peter 5:1-4, Titus 1:7, etc].

And held to high standards.

One of the more recent failures was Jerry Falwell, Jr.. Falwell’s father has been held up as by some as a standard to which Junior did not achieve. But Cal Thomas wrote many years ago that Jerry Senior’s fundamental approach to the Moral Majority’s influence during its heyday was in wielding worldly power.2

This is the legacy that Falwell Jr. caught and bred at Liberty University.

According to Daniel Burke, “Karen Swallow Prior, a former professor at Liberty, said Falwell ruled the campus with virtually unchecked power.” Burke notes that Falwell was interested in creating an academically, financially, and athletically successful university. Not “to live a Christian life.” 3

Karen Swallow also said,

“There have been red flags for a long time…The kind of arrogance and authoritarian leadership that we experience as faculty was really just a symptom of this lifestyle that obviously was one in which he thought he could do anything and get away with it.”

It wasn’t Jerry’s job

Unfortunately for Jerry Jr., God balks at such callousness among those who claim Christ and lead His people. It matters not whether they lead a “Christian” organization or a business or non-profit entity. Those who claim Christ must also claim His life. 

In the church we seem to have low standards for putting in leadership and high standards for removal from that leadership.

Many of the Christian leaders who have fallen from their lofty perches of late have been raising red flags for years. Those in their inner circles either were silenced or turned blind eyes to these leaders’ authoritarian, immoral, and arrogant leadership. Maybe, they overlooked their character while upholding their worldly giftedness.

Burke said, “Falwell Jr. likely assumed that as long as he kept Liberty rolling in money, no one would care much about his personal morality.”

When will it end? Not until Jesus returns to right every wrong and bring his broken and bruised people home. But until then, the church has the high calling of calling our leaders to account. God’s standards for leadership are very high and his standards for removal are actually quite low.

Honor professing Christian leaders who genuinely follow Christ [1 Tim. 5:17].

Take courage and remove those who do not [1 Tim. 5:20].

Notes:

1 Lipman-Blumen, Jean. The Allure of Toxic Leaders: Why We Follow Destructive Bosses and Corrupt Politicians–and How We Can Survive Them. Oxford University Press, 2004.
 
2 Thomas, Cal, and Ed Dobson. Blinded by Might. 2nd Edition. Grand Rapids, Mich: Zondervan, 2000.
 
 
 

Book by Editor of P&S

Kelly Dehnert, Editor of Pearls and Swine, has written a book about his family’s life in Africa as missionaries. The book provides helpful insights to engaging other cultures.

Free Preview:

What others say about the book:

Historians study something called ‘movement’ — how one people group becomes a different people group simply by moving into another people group. The Dehnert tribe is a perfect microcosm of ‘movement’ – and we are all better for it. This book would be helpful for anyone considering cross-cultural service. For everyone else, especially we ‘experts,’ this book is a helpful lesson in humility – learning again the limits of our learning!

Rev. Sam McDonald
Pastor, Faith Presbyterian – Brookhaven, Mississippi
Former Missionary to Malawi

Stupid [Toxic] Leaders: Lessons from Proverbs

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A fundamental character trait of good leaders is humility. However, many have experienced quite the opposite in their Christian organizations.

There seems to be a pervading sense of arrogance and hunger for power in our current culture, though I have no statistics to back it up nor do I know the heart of man. Though the business world has made great strides in the development of leadership models that emphasize a form of humility, the Christian community continues to struggle along with the world around them.

We continue to create more James MacDonalds, James Bakkers, Mark Driscolls, Bill Hybels, Jerry Falwell Jrs….etc.

There seems to be a love affair with leaders who thumb their noses at community and authority alike. They operate on the assumption that their way is always right and simply claim persecution when confronted.

My recent reading of Proverbs has given me a glimpse at the kind of people who should be in leadership in Christian organizations and the church. It is chock full of references to humility. And the Proverbs don’t pull punches.

Take for instance:

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid.

Proverbs 12:1

Those who don’t respond to reproof – or criticism – are stupid. I have been on a crusade lately to rid our public discourse, and mine, of words like that. But that word certainly gets to the core of the problem. The leader (or anyone else) who refuses to listen to criticism – who blows off any discussion of how they may have failed – is stupid. They are hurting themselves and hurting others. They are failing to grow and become more what the Lord wants them to be.

Toxic leaders, that are being challenged, market it as persecution. They must retain their image. They must be “right.” But Proverbs has something to say about that:

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 12:15 (ESV)

These people see themselves as right. A toxic leader will always see themselves as right. There is no humility that would mold their response to criticism. They can’t possibly be the one in the wrong.

Dan Allendar, a Chritian psychologist, has written many helpful books. One in particular, Bold Love, discusses the “scoffer.” Scoffer is a title given to a particularly evil person in the Proverbs.

All of us are capable of doing evil things, but evil people are driven by a self-interest that is so heartless, conscious, and cruel that it delights in stealing from others the lifeblood of their soul. Often the one who delights in evil is an ordinary, unassuming person who hides behind a facade of normalcy. Few people who are evil ever appear evil, even after the evidence of their deceit, destructiveness, and hardness is exposed.

Bold Love, page 233

These are the scoffers that Allendar describes.

A wise son hears his father’s instruction,
but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

Proverbs 13:1 (ESV)

Humility drives out self-interest. Humility answers a rebuke with…well, humility. Exhortation provides an opportunity for growth and community interconnectedness. Not power and self-interest. And in humility, the wise leader will hear it, seaking to grow as a leader and Jesus-follower.

Who are your heroes? Are they like Jesus or arrogant and power-hungry?

Let’s get on top of this. May the church nurture and hold up humble leadership.

Notes

Allender, Dan B., and Tremper Longman III. Bold Love. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2014.