As I read 1st Peter I was struck by how helpful his words should be to those who are abusive or have tendencies to be controlling, manipulative, and entitled. Those who struggle with these attitudes and behaviors need to take Peter’s words to heart.

Though there is much detailed work to be done in the text, I want to primarily get to the big picture of Peter’s first chapter, moving into the second.

Paul and Peter are both great at giving us in their writing, by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the big, beautiful picture first and then moving into the detail of living for Jesus next. They like to provide the “indicatives” first and “imperatives” next, while returning to the indicatives to re-emphasize our place in God’s world and all He has done for us.

They want us to know who we are first and then what we are to do with that knowledge next.

Imperishable

In verse three Peter begins with a beautiful doxology to God’s kindness to his people—those of us who have trusted in his kindness. He has done the work of saving us. He has given us new birth by the raising of Jesus from the dead.

That will never, ever go away. It is unfading . . . it is “imperishable,” he says.

Peter says, even as we go through difficult times—these Christians were going to or were facing great persecutions according to commentators—we can rejoice knowing Jesus wins!

Time for Action

As we come to 1:13, Peter begins to lay before us the call to action that results from this Good News.

It is time to take action. And ultimately this action takes place in the very depths of our soul. It is not simply outward behavior but a complete change of our inward man—mind and heart.

Here Peter quotes, as others in scripture quote, from Leviticus 11:44: “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

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Some would take this to be “acting good.” And in fact, this is where the abuser lives and breathes. He puts on an act for his church friends and leadership that he is righteous. But deep down, and for those who are under his authority, he breathes fire and hatred and control.

Peter doesn’t allow for this. Though he begins this passage with what sounds like outward appearances, he doesn’t stay there. He moves forward, digging down deep within our hearts.

²² Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart . . .

Notice the terms Peter uses: sincere, love, pure heart. Every one of those terms involves the inner man, not simply outward behavior. He has talked about “conducting” ourselves which is decidedly behavioral.

But he doesn’t stop there.

Not An Act

In Greek, sincere means “unfeigned.” It is not an act but what we really desire. We are not handing a cup of water out while thinking to ourselves, “I can’t stand this guy.”

Abusive leaders are almost always acting a part. They desire to look good to the watching world. This is why reporting (whisteblowing) is nearly always difficult and often unproductive. Those who hear the report rarely believe it. What they have seen and heard is that the pastor, manager, CEO, or coordinator is wonderful and has a heart of gold. He is skilled at his job. He radiates goodness.

This is what makes Jesus’ use of the term “white-washed tombs” so apropos. The tomb looks good on the outside with newly painted walls, but inside it is rotting fresh. So too, the toxic leader.

Put Away All Evil

All of this is driving to chapter 2 where Peter says,

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.

1 Peter 2:1

Put away all the evil. If you abuse your authority—authority given by God to be used for his glory and other’s good—it is time to repent. Let’s look at these words Peter uses.

• Malice: “Ill-will, desire to injure.” Maybe from jealousy (see below) or competitivesness you are seeking the downfall of someone subordinate or senior. You desire their demise.
• Deceit: You are faking it. You don’t really care about those under your care or ministry even though you say you do. You just want to be in control and the top dog. In order to hold your place of prominence or to get ahead you lie and act.
• Hypocrisy: “The acting of a stage player.” Closely related to deceit, you are acting one way while your heart is in another place. You maybe even use some outward humility if it gets you some attention for which you deeply long. But inside it is just an act.
• Envy: You are not so much concerned about God’s glory but rather your own. When others get some attention, you seek to diminish it rather than encourage it. The narcissist runs on this.
• Slander: This is your means of getting all that glory. “The act of damaging the good character of someone.” You tear them down; put them in their place. You explain, “She just isn’t that committed to the organization.” That way you look better and she must be lying about your toxicity.

If these describe your leadership “style,” it’s time to confess that you are a white-washed tomb.

It is time to do the difficult work of self-awareness; to ask the lord to show you how you have taken his good gifts and used them to destroy and hurt others rather than build up (Ephesians 4:11-13).

Unfortunately, the vast majority of toxic leaders will not listen to Peter, Paul, Jesus, or anyone but themselves. But, if any of this rings true to you of your heart, you are on the road to “recovery” having the humility it takes to repent.

Jesus seeks such ones as these to mold into the leaders He desires in His kingdom.