The abuse of leadership does not just appear out of the blue.
It has roots and a heart.
When we talk about abuse, we talk about patterns of behavior—coercive, controlling, and punishing behaviors. But we do not stop there.
The Difficulty of Transformation
It is rooted deeply in the heart. Behaviors are simple outward manifestations of something much deeper.
Therefore, the way to transformation is through the heart; not a five-, ten-, or fifteen-step program of changed behavior.
When seeking change in an abusive leader, it must be kept in mind that he or she is deeply deceived.
The heart is deceitful above all things,
Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
And this is why abuse advocates have so little confidence in the abusive leader to change.
Have you ever confronted an abuser? Did you see a humble recognition of their wicked heart? Did you see the dawning light in their eyes as they recognized their controlling heart and mean spirit? Did they even two days later come back to you and confess their thoughts of control and domination and ask forgiveness?
I know the answer to those rhetorical questions. At least 99% of the time.
Moral Concern for Others
So, how can transformation take place? How can an abusive leader be changed?
In a recent article by Kevin Brown in “The Dispatch“, the writer hit the nail on the head. Change is not through “thinly constituted reasoning”, as Brown puts it, but through “a story that shapes our moral imagination and directs our lives toward others.”
Brown says,
The Christian tradition has a word for this: discipleship. A call not merely to know what is right, but to become the kind of people who do the right thing. That is, both a desire for the good and the capacity to carry it out.
Real Virtue Has Roots by Kevin Brown
He noted that change in mankind—for good—comes through “discipleship”.
Brown says,
It is our day-to-day roots, not abstract reason, that will cultivate the virtuous life and our moral concern for others.
But discipleship means there is a “follower” who desires to learn from the one discipling him. And this again can be a nail in the coffin of transformation—most abusers don’t see it and so don’t think they need transformation. Why would they seek out discipleship?
The Ultimate Transformer
This is where Christ comes in . . . though He has been there all the time, mind you.
If Christ resurrected, this changes everything. All the maps have been redrawn. The world is upside down. Things are not as they seem. The truth of this story demands, says the hymnist, “my soul, my life, my all.”
Real Virtue Has Roots by Kevin Brown
It is only through Christ that a leader can even develop the desire to seek to know oneself; to know the sin that lies deeply hidden in his soul. To become a disciple.
This is the ultimate way that a leader will change his spots.
Yes, there are ways of seeking accountability: bringing pressure from boards; confrontations; firings; required batterer intervention programs. We have seen leaders seek heart change as a result of these accountability measures.
But ultimately, these only work when Christ chooses to bring pressure, confront, and bring consequences in order to discipline the toxic leader.
For if, because of [Adam’s] trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:17 (ESV)
We must rely upon Christ. Ultimately, transformation is His gift from Jesus Christ to the leader and organization and even the world around the leader.
Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O LORD,
Psalms 94:12 (ESV)
and whom you teach out of your law.
REFERENCE
Brown, Kevin, and Michael Reneau. “Real Virtue Has Roots.” The Dispatch, August 11, 2025. https://thedispatch.com/newsletter/dispatch-faith/virtue-morality-peter-singer-jemel-dunn/.